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What to do when someones says that they love u & will always love u but they can't stay married to u anymore?

Update:

Its not like we don't love each other enough and its not that we have someone else in our lives. Its just that we are always coming across some type of problem constantly. We can barely go for a few days without having some type of problem hit us. I've been told that its probably from the stresses of having a baby but I don't know. I mean we were having problems even before we got married. I guess it wasn't as often as they are now but they still existed.

24 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yeah, I've been there. Let him go, but get your financial stuff in order: debt balances (joint and single), assets, plan an exit strategy for yourself so that you are not strapped and get an aggressive attorney who won't just lay down and accept whatever he wants. make sure that attorney performs a discovery motion.

    Get yourself a good counselor b/c your friends won't completely understand, and most likely, I hate to say this, but he is probably not being faithful/ monogamous.

    If you have children, open a case with the department of child support services so you can get a support order and have them collect.

    Best wishes!

    Source(s): Personal experience....
  • 1 decade ago

    This could mean many different things. Perhaps the person feels they don't love enough to stay in a marriage. People have all sorts of capacities to love, some love on a very deep level, others cannot. Maybe the person has decided that marriage is not for them. Or, and this is slim, there may be someone else in the picture you are not aware of. Whatever the reason, you deserve to find someone who wants you by their side forever and a day. Please look for this person and don't waste time.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Your right about always having some time of problem, but if he loves you then he'd want to be there to work on the problems together. He's just trying to bail out so let him go and find someone that appreciates you and your baby. Don't let him get away without paying child support.

  • 1 decade ago

    That is a good one. My husband left me last year and his remark was I love you but I'am not in love with you. Now we talk all the time and he talks about us getting back together but can't quite seem to leave his girlfriend yet she is a manipulator and uses him. He thought we (his family) did not love him and only wanted him for his paycheck. He has since found the women he left me for on her best day is far worse than anything I could ever be on my worst day.

    My question to you is are you still in love with him? I still love my now ex-husband and am quite confused from day to day. What I have done is ask the Lord for his will to be done. If you are meant to be together I think he will see the error in leaving or wanting to leave and will come back. They don't know what they have till it's gone. And be yourself don't beg but let him know you care.

    My prayers are with you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It could mean that you will always have a special place in this persons mind and heart, but for some reason which you probably have some idea of he doesn't want to be married to you. My wife cheated on me years ago and I feel like I love her, but I don't want to be married to her. I have remained married to her because I feel my first commitment is to our young children. If we eventually get divorced she will always have a special place in my heart.

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    There is one phrase left out, which is, "like a friend." This person will always love you like a friend. I think if you allow yourself the strength to actually look at what you have, compared to the dream that is deep in your heart, you will find discrepancies. Once you get to that point, you will know what to do.

  • 1 decade ago

    He doesn't love you but is either too cowardly to admit it or is trying to hurt you less. It isn't going to hurt less just make things more confusing for you. Let him go. May be he will decide he's making a mistake maybe not. Move on. Spill all to your friends, again and again until it stops hurting - and it does.

  • 1 decade ago

    Well in my oppinion when a spouse says that it is a cowards way out. It is really telling you they DON'T love you and they want OUT, but they haven't got the gutts to say what they are really feeling. That is only my oppinion though, So just let them go!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I'd cry and yell and scream and feel lost and hurt and empty and let them go. Then I'd get stronger and keep going and start living again and move on. Hang in there Honey.

  • 1 decade ago

    maybe they dont know how live with a person 4 a lifetime. it could b that the person never had and/or hasnt ever dealt with something 4 a long time that has significant value.

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