Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

i told my bff who i liked, and now she is after him, even though she denies it.....more?

i told her who i had a massive crush on, and all of a sudden shes talking to him in classes, exchanging instant messages, and becoming his friend. i dont know what shes after, but it makes me really upset, becuase shes funny and gorgeous and could probably get him before i could (i am told that i'm pretty, but i am very shy).

i guess my two questions are:

1. what do i do about my best friend? she will get defensive and b*tchy if i straight up tell her i dont like her befriending him

2. how do i outshine my best friend and get him to pay attention to me more?

ps im 17. thanks so much guys!

Update:

when i stand up to my best friend, she claims that she is just trying to make friends with him, it has nothing to do with me liking him, whats wrong with making friends?... thats what she says.

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  • 1 decade ago
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    omg that seems like an episode of my own life :P hehe.. well that happens, but are u sure your best friend is after him? Maybee... she just wants to help u out with him, by trying to be his friend and all that stuff. And if she really is after him, i am sorry 2 say she is not your friend! friends dont do that, they are there to make crazy stuff, and then watch out for each other, not to steal your future bf. Just try to be yourself around him :)... thats the best thing u can do! u want him to like You... so theres no one better at being You than You.. ! omg thats sounds like what my mom would say.. but its absolutely true! try talking to him between classes, asking him for hws, and if u havent talk to him yet, try smiling to him one day, than the other, next day try saying hi, just flirt! and if he still likes your friend better... he is not worth it! i mean... cuteness doesn't makes a guy! and even if that was soo.. there are more cute guys... so try your best.. hope i helped:P

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  • 1 decade ago

    OH boy. Honey do realize what you just wrote? "YOUR best friend is going after the guy you like. "THAT IS NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND" is she is she not do that and much less become upset that this is bothering you and you would like it to stop. Unfortunately darling most women are this way. You so call best friend as we think, are always the first one to stab us in the back. Sometimes they become your BFF so the can keep you closer because the think you are the gorgeous one and will NEVER EVER tell you that. They will always give you bad advice always blame you, tell you something looks terrible on you when it actually looks fantastic, all ways make you feel bad and make it seem as if that is not what they meant to do, you know make you feel guilty, and so forth. Do any of this sound familiar? You may be shy but I have a feeling she may want you to stay that way. I do not no her but I do know she is not your friend. I am sorry. Get ride of her and that not only will boost your self esteem, make you feel more confident, but I am almost sure she will lose interest in "YOUR" Rome. Try that.

    GOOD LUCK!!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, this happened to me. Second of all, these girls are ditsies who think that they're the best thing that ever happened on earth. A big part of this behavior is due to lack of self-esteem. She's not your friend. She is perhaps threatened by you that she's trying to get close to you, so she can easily compete with you. You know the saying, "keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer"? Well, that's what she's doing.

    My advice is not to confront her. If you do, she'll make it look as though you're the one with a problem. Just stay cool. Let her flirt away. Second, keep your distance from this "bff" and find another friend whom you can level with. She'll get the message and she better not confront you and pretend that she did you no wrong. Third, give the guy signals or if you're in the same class, just be friendly with him. Sooner or later, he'll take notice of you, and if he's interested, then he'll make a move. Or better yet, find another crush. Take it one step at a time.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow. I really feel for you. This must be hard.

    Honesty is always good. Competition for guys, is bad. Guys dig it way too much. I am a guy. I know. It gives them a swelled head and you will find that they will use the both of you.

    The very best thing you can do is be yourself. If you are not sure who you are (and that is not uncommon even among 40 year olds) then spend your time learning about yourself and you will eventually find that the guys you really want and are worth having will be flocking to you.

    Competing with your friend only hurts her, him and you. Relationships are built on trust. If she is phony with him, it will not last. If you try to "outshine" her then you will be phony. That is not who you want to be.

    Take Care.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe she is trying to hook you up. Most likely not. Abywho you need to drop her cause no friend would do that to you if they were really yout friend.

    How to out shine her is to take from the beat and do better. Get to him before she does everyday in clas and talk to him first. Hog him up. If you can't get him like that get his # so she can't disrupt.

    But with all of this I say confront her. You gotta get gully and don't let her pull that bitchy stuff. If she becomes a ***** be a ***** right back, but get some explanation

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well one thing if she is going after someone that you said you like, then she is not a true friend. Who cares of what she will say think or do. Stand up for yourself and let her know where she stands. As for him, let him know that she wasn't interested until you said something. Let him choose. Your young, you don;t need him, and they probably won't last long because she really didn't like him from the start.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well it is not to say she is not your friend but right now she is looking out for herself u guys are very young, and these things happend cause your minds is not strong enough to deal with relationship any kind of realationship even as friends cause real friends don't do things like that, but if you want u need to stop being shy cause this will always happend to you ask if he wants to go to the movies u pay, it's the futureous thing for us females to do at times when it will pay off in the long run and when u with him ask him how he feel about her and then take it from there but go out with him as a friend and feel out the situation. good luck

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  • well, about your friend, if you like the guy more than her, then tell her straight up, she might get mad, but if you think the guys worth it then...... its up to you. but if you still want to be friends then secretly compete with her, make sure you talk to him more than she does, but dont do it enough that she catches on.

    ok, now how to acually do it, start instant messaging him and talking to him in classes, even try calling him and writing notes or e-mailing him if you have to. just try not to look desprite!

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  • 1 decade ago

    You call that a bestfriend :( I'm sorry to hear that shes doing that! When i was in high school i knew a girl like that! I stoped talking to her! It was for the better :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    Ok, here's what you do...go up to her and say "Susie" why are u all of a sudden flirting with "joe" when she denies it point out all the signs..if she still denies it then you start to walk away, then BAAAAAMMM!!! Smack that hoe!

    Source(s): Black women don't play when it comes to our ni**as !!! Everybody else betta get on board!
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