[A] asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 1 decade ago

EXTREMELY Depressed.Feeling so bad.This has been hurting me for too long! If you have it in your heart, help?

I am the middle child in my family and the only girl. I have an older brother and a younger brother.

Both are geniuses! My older brother is so skilled and talented at everything, particularly at History and Philosophy and all that deep jazz. People come up to me at school (people I do not know at all!) and tell me he's a genius. He thinks of literally amazing theories. They ask me how he does it.

My little brother is a perfectionist and has A+s in every single subject. He just received the high honors and got 1st place in our city and 3rd place in the country for a mathematics competition. All that and he is a brilliant artist.

Ok, so my brothers are freaking GENIUSES. I KNOW it's hard to believe but PLEASE trust me on this.

And I.....am nothing. I try so hard. Honestly. But I am never as good as them. I feel so outshined and depressed, especially lately.

My brothers are often emotionally unstable, and have horrible tantrums. I read up on it, and gifted people do act like this.

Update:

I feel so alone and sad. Especially when my dad says he's so proud of them! He hardly ever says that about me. They're so perfect and I'm so......not.

I don't know. I thought I was talented and special but they get better every day and I get sadder. Please help. What do I do?

Update 2:

My mom tries to make me feel better by saying we just moved to a new country and that all the moving has affected me, but I knoiw she lies. I'm not as good as them. Why hasn't the moving affected them? Last year, in another country, I sucked at school but my older brother aced his GCSE exams and my little brother got the highest position in all of 6th grade. I got nothing. And hardly ever have.

P.S. I am a freshman (9th grade). One brother is an 11th grader, the other is in 7th grade.

Update 3:

I tried art and sports and all. I suck. Well, nothing above average at least.

Update 4:

I had that serious talk with my parents. Many times. It works only until one of my brothers accomplish another amazing feat, which is, say, at 2 day intervals?

Update 5:

I am a good student, but nothing exceptionally brilliant. Like A's and B's. 3.6 GPA. Blech. :^(

Update 6:

Sorry, 3.5 GPA. And in my family, all that matters is grades.

29 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Well, you should try to do even better, but if you can't, well, at least there are people that are worse than you.

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  • Silva
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Never say you are nothing!! You sound very intelligent and understanding to me.You seem to acknowledge and appreciate the talents of your brothers and even try to justify their bad behaviors which shows you are a loving and compassionate sister. Although I would agree that some gifted people may be emotionally unstable, I don't think "horrible tantrums "should be tolerated and explained away so easily.Do not pit yourself against your brothers. Life is not a contest that the smartest or most gifted person wins. You may have other fine qualities that will get you far ahead in life. You already love and appreciate your brothers, this is great!!I would praise God that he has given me the gifts I do have and concentrate on developing them to do the greatest good.Maybe you could see a school counselor to discuss your depression if by every means possible you have tried, you still feel depressed. If this is not an option, perhaps you can speak to your parents about the way you are feeling. Good luck and have a blessed holiday season!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Hey there! Well, I was horrible at school, horrible at sports, horrible at the arts!! LOL!!! But I am an awesome medical assistant! I don't have trophies anywhere, but I have patients who call and ask for me by name, people who feel better after I talk to them for 10 minutes! I have a loving hubby, son and daughter in-law, and pets all over the house! I suffered from the dreaded "middle child syndrome" and still do on occasion. Sometimes the best thing you can be is just that--the best you can be. I'm thinking you're probably a great friend, kind-hearted, responsible and dependable - that's all I'd ask for in a person. I'd rather have you standing next to me then someone who was unstable and having a tantrum!!! YIKES!! Just hang in there Kiddo! Hugs to you!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well let me say you are a well spoken young lady and you communicate extremely well.It looks to me that you have quite a talent for writing. Do you like to read? A lot of writers incuding myself do.

    I understand how difficult this must be for you. Have you said anything to your parents about how you are feeling? That is the best thing you can do. Tell your parents exactly what you said here. In fact, if its hard to say, write them a letter telling exactly how you feel.

    When I was growing up I felt the same way you do about my older sister. She was the pretty popular one with all the friends. Then my little sister was born and she was the cute little baby everyone went gaga over. There I was the geeky shy kid stuck in the middle. Nobody noticed me. Then one day I started crying because I just couldn't take it anymore. I told my mom and she told my dad and they started to treat me better. Sometimes parents just aren't aware. And they are human to and make mistakes. Unfortunately sometimes they are big mistakes. So tell your parents in the best way you know how. I recommend a letter because you can get all your feelings and thoughts down without being interrupted. Good luck sweetheart. Take care.

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  • mama
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Lift your chin up, dear. You are the shiny jewel that hasn't pushed yourself into the limelight. You are so generous to be so proud of your brothers instead of berating them. I have a feeling you are a giver. Givers give to others their whole lives instead of focusing on themselves. Keep your heart kind, and hold your head high. God puts everyone on the Earth for a reason. Unfortunately we don't always know what our own reason is. As a mother, I can tell you that I love all of my children exactly the same. No one is more special than the other. Each person has unique qualities, wether or not they are noticed nationally, or they are kept secret.

    Hang in there, and just be youeself. Find what you like, and do that. Be proud of who you are and what you have done.

    Source(s): Mother of 3, and also a middle child.
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  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should be proud to have geniuses in your family and its true that a lot of people who have highlly creative minds do have other issues.

    I think your family doesnt help as far as trying to give you positive support ...that and they just dont know how since everything is so much on the "you gotta excel or youre screwed".

    I dont believe that you dont have any talents or arent good at anything you just havent found it yet. Best way to get to this is to find out whatyou like the most and see what you can do with it. It can be anything even knitting(as an example).

    The bottom line also is that you dont need to excel or be good at anything.. even talking to people and helping out others is good. I just think that theyre just over-praising your other family members.

    I think as the last option would be to move the hell out eventually you do need to have your own life and need to explore for yourself and explore yourself.

    The final option as a last resort is to seek counseling and maybe that in addition to anti depressant pills or the latter by itself. Since it looks like the incident is "situational" and "exposure" to all this behavior going on around you i think if you moved out it will resolve that.

    Good luck

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well I came from a family of 8 children im the 6th one and I have lived the same thing as you my older sister graduated university with gold mention and tralalal the next sister is a brilliant pianist the other one is the I know everything i've done everything whent to china greece london name em . my other brother is a football player the other one a mathematicien beleive me it is something my litle sister is going to be a lawer and my litle brother is 7 and play guitar like a 18 years old .. what do i do im a a secretary making 8 stupid buck an hour ...I've been told ALL my life im 20 and they still tell me that I can't do anything good cause im npt good enough !

    Why ! why my own family destroy me like that when I've been so happy for their intelligence and their talent . Well I found out that my talent is to be who i am.

    So my advice to you is find yourself and be proud of it cause no one else will!

    Good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, you aren't nothing, but you're close. You should work harder and follow your brothers. Maybe you really are bad, but you should keep trying. Grades are important to your future, so work hard to get A's. Since you feel sad, you will need to catch up. Do whatever you need to do that. Maybe one day, you'll be talented and special, but you aren't yet.

    I do agree, you suck and are quite hopeless, so just keep working at it until you get high A's and A+'s. Or just cut all your activities until then. If you have nothing other than studying to do, then you'll do it. Good luck.

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  • Clycs
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Dear child, quit beating yourself up. "if you compare yourself to others you will become vain & bitter. Always, there will be greater & lesser people than yourself." Disideratta

    I don't know how old you are, it sounds like maybe early teens? Are you feeling depressed (and a bunch of other emotions) because of raging hormones. If so, do your research on it & definately talk to someone, preferrably a professional--school counselor, spiritual advisor, even the school nurse can help. And here's a couple questions for you that my shrink used to ask me when I was wallowing around in it--"Why am I choosing to feel this way?" "what's the pay off for me in this choice?" Hope you get this worked out before it becomes a life long pattern/habit. "Mother always liked him best."

    --gg has some great points. and everyone who said basically, keep looking for your tallent, gift, hell, purpose in life! (I'm still trying to find mine & I'm 54!) and I might point out that genious does NOT equal success. You're way to young to write yourself off as a failure.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I feel the same way especialy when my sibling is home for a visit. Right now he's in Russia but will be home for x-mas then I will pretend to be happy but on the inside will feel like crap. If u ever want to talk to anyone you could always talk to me I guess. Tell your parents is the best I can do at the moment. Good luck.

    By the way how is your siblings hand writting? Terrible I expect it's impossible for a person to be good at everything so there should be somethings they are terrible at.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are trying to be somebody that you can't not be, you are yourself, if the're are geniuses in any area, you can do it in the next one, just choose one, follow it, and stop thinking that you are the middle child, the person that's answering your question is a middle child, I'm 40 grew up with that tormented feeling just like you to the extreme that the relations with my other brother and sister never been the same, so you could stop know, and do what you have to do and just enjoy the fact that he is good in that , and you good an another thing, and celebrate together, believe me it would help you, good luck

    Source(s): life expirience
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