GLSigma3 asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

Christmas card from your ex's mom?

I got a Christmas card from my ex of about a year's mom. There was a letter in it with no good news. His dad has cataracts, and his mom has breast cancer. He and I haven't spoken and I've asked him not to contact me. I don't want to be friends with him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same. His parents seem to want to stay in contact with me, (I think they still think that we'll end up together but it's not going to happen) but I want nothing to do with their son. I don't have his parents mailing address. Would it be appropriate to contact parents wishing them well and saying I'll pray for them, or should I just let it be?

Update:

We weren't married. We dated for 2 1/2 years in a long-distance relationship. His parents are at least 2 1/2 hours away from me.

18 Answers

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  • SNAP!
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    personally i'd let it be...there is no good reason for keeping ties to them...say a prayer for them and then move on

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  • Kim
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I keep in contact with a couple ex's parents. We send christmas cards, emails with updates on what's going on. I don't think it's inappropriate. If you want to, it's your right to stay in contact. Doesn't mean you'll ever have to see him again. It's totally up to you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Certainly you should contact his parents to wish them well and offer prayer for them. They've reached out to you because they still like the relationship you have with them even if it did not work out with you and your ex. This is a good thing. They could look to you as a positive force in their lives since so much of it is not that bright, it seems.

    My ex's parents did not try to contact me or their grandchildren when we were divorced. It was as if the relationship of fifteen years never happened. Had we had a good relationship while I was married to that twit, I would have been happy to continue it with them (as long as it was good). But my ex-in laws were old school and didn't bother to make a relationship because that was how they saw things - "in-law (not related)."

    Perhaps you can get their mailing address from a brother or sister of your ex's (or look online if it is in the yellow pages and is a matter of public record).

    It's very nice that you guys can stay in touch, though, especially through the things they are going through.

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  • 1 decade ago

    How do you feel about his parents? My ex and I dated for 3 years and we wanted nothing to do with each other after we broke up, but I still stayed in contact with his parents. They're some of the nicest people I've ever met. And I attended the showing when his grandpa died. Just because the 2 of you don't want to see each other doesn't mean that you can't stay in contact with his parents. I say it's ok to contact them as long as you're ok with them and you want to stay in contact, but if you don't want anything to do with him or his parents then just let it go. It's your decision.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I see no harm in you contacting them and sying hi and making sure they are okay. They were nice enoug to send you a Christmas card so the polite thing to do would be to call them or write them back i think. Its not going to hurt anyone...it might even make their day! But only do this if you feel comfortable about it, cause you know how exes parents can be...they might try to pry into stuff in the conversation with them.

    Source(s): My ex's mother!
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  • 1 decade ago

    If you want to reply and wish them well, but you aren't interested in seeing their son, then just say that. There are plenty of ways to gently say you wish them all the best, that you'll pray for them, and that you're sorry things didn't work out with the son, but you don't want to see him, although you wish him the best as well.

    Don't let the attempt by your ex's mother to contact you wierd you out. If she starts writing regularly, then tell her you're not comfortable. Be positive, not negative, but don't re-establish ties either. Just be polite.

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  • 1 decade ago

    of course you can contact the parents there's nothing wrong with that at all. i know plenty of people who stay close to their ex's parents even though the relationship didn't work out. what happened between you and their son has nothing to do with the way your relationship with them was. my ex husbands family still talks to me all of the time they say to them i will always be a part of their family and they back me 100% and admit he was in the wrong and anything i do to him in court he deserves and they won't hold it against me. i'm also still close with one of my ex boyfriend's mom from high school. we talk all the time (sadly it's been twelve years since he and i dated and he's married and she's still wanting a reunion between him and me ha ha) so no there is absolutely nothing wrong with contacting them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Take the address off the envelope the card came in and just send them a card, and ask them to let you be.They just want to keep in touch, but you do have the right to say something.If you weren't close to them when you were married to their son, then I would let them know how you feel.And yes Pray for them and me....

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  • 1 decade ago

    What is wrong with sending a card expressing your sympathy that their health is not good, and wishing them well? Maybe they just like you, and wanted you to know.

    Unless they have an unlisted phone number, you can find their address at www.anywho.com

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  • 1 decade ago

    Don't worry about contacting them. It would be rude and assumptive. Just don't contact them at all (kinda like you would if you were trying to get rid of a bf or somehting) If they keep sending you cards and stuff, just throw them away.

    The only reason you should worry is if they start stalking you.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Depends on what you want. By writing them or calling you'd be opening up the line of communication between you and them (NOT necessarily you and him). If you want that, then contact them.

    If you don't, then just let it be. Either is equally appropriate.

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