men in denial about jailhouse relationships?

Why do men who've had sex with other men in prison not admit to being gay or bisexual? Why do they always claim that they're straight, or that "the other guy was gay"?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Okay...Okay...ya'll dragged me out. I served 5.5 years flat in Texas Department of Corrections from the age of 18-23. Went in very Bi-sexual and didn't really have sex for a year or so..Then I got in a relationship with a beautiful "very straight" guy.. I actually fell quite in love with him..He was the man although I am not particularly femininem at all. Being locked up with men is a totally different "society" that people that haven't been there could never imagine..Never..Mentally you do what you have to do to make the time as pleasant as possible without going insane. When my fella got out, he returned to women and is married and has children and we talk about once a year. I am very happy for him..Now after he left, I decided that there were too many beautiful guys in there that needed loving that were just too hot so my last 12 months, I decided to get a good variety of the hottest men you could ever imagine sleeping with. Most all of them returned to females when they got out..A few I did become the "top" with only because we were in the best place ever to experiment with our "gay" side..Ya know the saying, "What happens in Prison stays in prison". And I hate to disagree with some of the females posters here, but: yes there is rape in prison and yes that is all about power and dominance, but there is also a big amount of sex that is between two horny guys that both agree to it and are simply trying it out, or simply just got to have body contact with someone...You'll never know how hurtful it is to not hold someone, hug someone and be with someone...it's simply a question of keeping a little sanity going. Jacking off really only works for so long....Okay that's it..Thats the truth....Hope it helps..

  • Honey
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Great question! There are a whole lot of guys who aren't in jail or to recently come home from jail who thinks that because they were the ones to do the sticking or get sucked on, that they aren't gay and the other guy is. I see personal ad's in newspapers and on the internet about guys who consider themselves str8 but is out there looking for someone to get them off.

    I think men in jail feel that they're doing what's necessary to get thru their time. If you got 5- 10, that's a loooong time to go without some type of sexual activity. Would these same guys turn to guys if they were on the street? Do they go to guys once they come home? They justify their actions while they're there and forget about them when they come home. I'm sure that some of these same guys are the some of the same ones to post these ads on the internet "str8 top looking for a bottom". Guess what, if you consider yourself a top.. you're gay/bi. Guys HATE when I put it them like that even though I'm a bisexual woman.

  • 1 decade ago

    I believe this question has been answered already, but here is some other related things:

    It is about preference, fantasy, and a limited environment (as previously mentioned).

    Men need sex, pure and simple. Their testosterone peaks everyone morning, morning wood is constant proof of that, and release of seminal fluid is a predictable pattern as it builds up creating physical tension. There is a connection between all these components and the brain that increases a man's libido, horniness, and increased ability to become erect.

    As mentioned, when men get out (of prison), heterosexual men prefer women, fantasize about women (even in prison they continue to fantasize about women--and never men), and when their environment changes (women are now available) they return to heterosexual encounters--not homosexual.

    If a man is in prison and he is gay (or bi), conversely, he will prefer men (and women), fantasize about men (and women) and return to men (and women) when he is released.

    I have never truly met a bi-sexual (based on what defines one’s sexuality—more on this later).

    I have met plenty who say they are bi (males), and when asked what they fantasize about they all say, mostly men, and occasionally women. In almost all cases of bi-sexuality, men fantasize about men. Rarely, if never, do they fantasize about both. Both at the same time, yes, but never just with a women. Put simply, bi-sexuals seem to be more into a 3-some, as opposed to doing men one day, and women the next. And while this most certainly happens, their fantasies are rarely one or the other. They are either men or both sexes at the same time.

    In conclusion, I feel that while they may believe they are bi, and do bi-sex, their greater preference is for men because there is always a man present in their fantasies, but not always a woman.

    Perhaps it could be said, your fantasies tattle tell on you, as to what your sexual preferences really are. Remember: a fantasy is self-induced, has no limits or boundaries, and can begin or end and be directed anyway one desires (with no outside stimuli needed). This in itself suggests whatever the person thinks about may be their inner most desire because it carries no social restraints or societal mores. I believe this is why fantasies sum up one's sexual "preference" while what happens in real life is the product of desire AND social EXPECTANCY.

    In a prison, the socially acceptable thing to do is to have sex with a man, masturbate or do without (what other options are there?) Again, that is a social expectancy for sexual release, and in some cases, avoiding a greater consequence—death (or so I have been told).

  • 1 decade ago

    Actually, this happens with women as well. SOmetimes two women will actually fall in love in prison. When one gets out, she often will have a man on the outside and will not want anything to do with her former lover. It's hard for the one who is left behind.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I don't think being gay (or homosexual) is a simple act of sex. Being gay is having a relationship, developing feelings, being attracted to, loving a person of the same gender. A quick nobber or prison rape is not gay.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Any man who is forced to live around men for a considerable length of time may turn to them for sexual gratification. All men have bisexual tendencies anyway and when forced to act on that inclination, they will.

    That does not mean he is gay though.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Because they are most likely not gay. However, the need for sexual interaction can overcome the natural sexual orientation of males.

    If you take on of these ex-cons and give them a choice between a good looking woman and a handsome man, see which one they pick.

  • 1 decade ago

    As the olkd saying goes just like in Vegas ,What happens in prison stays in prison.,

  • 1 decade ago

    I have never met a guy that has been in prison. I wish I knew. I wouldn't mind finding a bad boy like that.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    It's cause they are shocked at how good it felt to shag another man - and they can't live with that thought.

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