What do you do with a brother like mine?

My brother pretty much messed up my life completely growing up, as well as my sisters, brothers and moms. i still have many issues thanks to him, as far my self-confidense is concerned. growing up we all dealt with constant physical as well as mental abuse from him.

he got out of jail a few months ago(he was in there for breaking into his girlfriends apartment then threatening to killher). the problem is he is still in his old ways. hes constantly putting everyone around him down or fighting with them or threatening them if not actually hurting them physically. he's so negative about everything, it just brings us all down. last week he even stole money from my mom and sister, another thing thats not out of the regular for him. he refuses to get a job and when he does he wont work and refuses to be "bossed"around. when he finds himself homeles again, which is gonna happen...should we feel responsible for having to take him in when he abuses us, steals from us and tears us down?

11 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    if you let him back into your home and your life you are enabling him to continue to behave in this way.

    the safest thing for you to do is let him get on with his life, and make him keep his life away from yours.

    You have no responsibility towards him whatsoever, the fact that you even ask this question shows that you think you do on some level.

    It's time for you to let him grow up and to live your life in peace.

  • Chula
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    No, you aren't responsible for him. He's an adult. My family is really messed up. My mother is the bad one in my family. She is just awful. And 10 years ago, I cut her out of my life. She's a drunk and a dangerous one. She has been arrested for stealing, shoplifting and child abuse. She is NOT a good person to be around. And whenever she was I got really tense and waited for IT to happen. Because I damn well knew that SOMETHING was going to whatever IT was. I hated it. Then one day it occured to me that I would never chose to have someone like this in my life. Always high drama, causing problems, calling for bail money, ect. That was it. I told her flat out - don't call me, show up at my house, my job or go near my kids. Period. It took about a year for her to believe it. They make you feel guilty, so sticking with it can be tricky - "it's family" you tell yourself, but really they made these choices, not you. Why suffer for their bad judgement? Over the years, my mother has gotten crazier - but it hasn't affected me or my kids. I don't talk to or see her. There is no way I would ever allow her back into my life - ever. I don't care what she does or says. She never tells the truth anyway.......

    I don't know if your brother has a drug or alcohol addiction but if he does and you continue to help him that could actual hurt him worse. Enabling someone and allowing them to continue their bad behavior does them no good. And it certianly doesn't make your life any better.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    By all means put him away. he is your responsibility if he does crime to society. I t does not mean you do not love him if you send him behind bars it is fyour obligation and for his own good so that he can reform. Love is also sacrifice for the rest of your family no matter how hard it is to be the one to report him to the proper authoritoes.. It will be hard for you at first but you can save your family from future harm and molestations from him. In jail he cannot act like a tough guy or he will beaten up so it will sober him down and maybe he can learn to humble himself when he gets out.It will also give him time to think about the abuses he has done to his only one caring family. If he continues to do that who will take him in. Teach him a lesson.

  • 1 decade ago

    no. and I'm speaking from exsoerience, my uncle is a drug addict and also goes to prison often and my grandma finally put her foot down and does not allow him to live in her house so he is also homeless but they put there self in the position there in, if he physically abuses you and your family your mom should get a restraining order put on him. My sisters boyfriens brother just last week stabbed his own mother and killed her now thats scary so no matter who it is don't let him live with you guys. good luck and remember he is a grown man it's not yours or your mothers problem anymore.

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  • wanita
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    i will experience the agony and the years of emotional torture in this. i've got faith the bewilderment and then the acceptance of a brother who didnt love his youthful brother. The giving up on questioning why and as quickly as extra being tortured via the understanding. needless to say the brother had dragons he couldnt slay so he slew himself. if the memories and the soreness could be placed to sit down down back with the brother then i commend the extra youthful for the ability of character and of the indoors coronary heart. it incredibly is rather coronary heart wrenching because of the fact the reader can experience each and every 2nd of those years.thank you for this hassle-free and eye-catching poem.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Absolutely not. And if he's stealing from you, he's violating parole. Talk to his parole officer.

    He sounds as if he may be mentally ill in some respect, though I have no idea how you'd convince someone like that to get help.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    no...wrong is wrong...i dont care who it is in ur family or friends...GET RID OF HIM! sometimes tough love is the best...now, i would keep him close in a monitor sense...but u can only help/change a person so much and not at all if they dont want to change...but u shouldnt feel responsible......yall only human as well and can only take so much....dont let anyone take over ur life....God bless yall

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    nope.if he is homeless let him sleep under a brigde. he need to grow the hell up

  • me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    HELL NAH!!!! You guys do what you ned to do to protect yourself. File a restraining order!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    nope, don't feel bad. To Hell With You I would Say

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