Another Funny.?

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

PAT BUCHANAN

To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL

Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the

plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other

side." That's what "they" call it the "other side." Yes, my friends, that

chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I

say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the

liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other

side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain

and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The

chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY

To die. In the rain.

Update:

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without

having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA

In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us

that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE

It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX

It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSAIN

His was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in

dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN

What chicken?

Update 2:

KEN STARR

I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest of the

president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law

enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing

our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the

chicken is just another pawn in the president's ongoing and elaborate

scheme to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that

reason, my staff intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity

provided he cooperates fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the

chicken will not be permitted to reach the other side of the road until

our investigation and any Congressional follow-up investigations have been

completed. (We also are providing information to the Rev. Jerry Falwell,

alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any useful

testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his feathers.)

Update 3:

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK

To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER

You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have

to cross before you believe it?

FREUD

The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road

reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES

I have just released eChicken 98, which will not only cross roads, but will

lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook-and

Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN

Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the

chicken?

BILL CLINTON

I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?

Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN

The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the

"black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

Update 4:

THE BIBLE

And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou

shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was

much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS

I missed one?

9 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Special 2000 US Election Jokes:

    SOUTH FLORIDA VOTER : The chickens were clearly confused as to where the dotted yellow line was leading. The only other option was to cross the line, so they did.

    VICE PRESIDENT GORE : I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. Did I mention that I invented roads?

    GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH : I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

    SENATOR LIEBERMAN : I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

    SECRETARY CHENEY : Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

    RALPH NADER : Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tiremakers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tiremakers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

    And the rest...

    Gerald R. Ford : It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.

    Jean-Paul Sartre : In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

    Joseph Stalin : I don't care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omlette.

    Karl Marx : It was a historical inevitability.

    Saddam Hussein : This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

    Saddam Hussein #2 : It is the Mother of all Chickens.

    Darwin : It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

    Darwin 2: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

    George Bush : To face a kinder, gentler thousand points of headlights.

    Lord Baden-Powell : To earn a road crossing Badge.

    Margaret Thatcher : There was no alternative.

    Oliver North : National Security was at stake.

    Pat Buchanan : To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

    Richard M. Nixon : The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the road.

    Ronald Reagan : I don't recall.

    Louis Farrakhan : The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

    John Locke : Because he was exercising his natural right to liberty.

    John Sununu : The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

    President Clinton : I did not, and I repeat, I did not have sexual relations with that chicken.

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh Oh !!! Its enough man ! Will any one tell me why the Chicken wanted to cross the road, after all ??!!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    whats ur question-oh the freak ill laugh even though some of them were just plain stupid "im a vegetarian buddy so back of the chickens their just like us"people r gay so why cant chickens-My dog just snorted(not strange for my dog)-gtg~lilly oshiment

  • 1 decade ago

    Funny!

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  • Mike S
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Nice collection of chicken crossing the road jokes.

    At least I appreciated them.

  • 1 decade ago

    dude u put wayyy to much time into this joke

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    way too long

  • Anonymous
    5 years ago

    CLASSIC love it very funny haha thanks for the laughs =]

  • me
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Ha ha ha ha!!!! I LOVED THAT ONE!!!! To funny.

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