My boyfriend's son is 4 and has hit/kicked me a few times. How do I talk to my boyfriend about this?
He only gets his son a few times a year (because he lives far away) Most of the time his son says please/thank you to me. But these other times when he hits/kicks, I'm not sure how to take this. I've told my boyfriend and he has talked to him about that being wrong and if he keeps it up he will get a spanking. I personally think he should follow through with the spanking when he does this, but I'm not the parent. But as the girlfriend, I don't think it is my place to punish him. At the same time, it hurts my feelings, but I try to remember he is just a little boy. Any suggestions?
- Doug RLv 51 decade agoFavorite Answer
Look, the little boy is spanking age, and he has apparently gotten little discipline with his Mom, so do this: talk to your boy friend and explain that the next time the little monster hits or kicks you, that you will hit or kick back, and then do it. The time for discipline is at the point of the offense. The kid will remember your hitting him and quit his perilous ways at least with you. If your boy friend does not want you doing this, he should spank the kid the instant it happens. If you are going to continue being around this child, your boy friend should understand that you will have to play guardian at times, and you should be given the weapon of self defense and an ok to discipline the little guy. Insist on it - otherwise, you will be miserable in his company. It is work to discipline little ones, but they will love you and respect you for it in the end. Good luck on taming the dragon.
- 1 decade ago
Its obvious the lil boy is kinda smart.He's being polite at times while hitting u??!Girl..just state it to ur boyfriend that though he can only see him a few times a year but hitting/kicking u doesnt seem promote any exception.Its the matter of manners and letting the boy gets off so easily wont help him in the future.Even if u are not the parent,as an elders u DO have the right to stop the boy while he was hitting u?or u just let him hit u?its yr choice but in my opinion...its outgraceous.Try to talk wit yr bf's son and figure out why he did so..maybe he's scared deep down in his heart of the thought of losing his dad to u
- marLv 41 decade ago
It sounds like your boyfriend's son has some major discipline problems. The child needs to know that hitting is unacceptable behavior. You need to tell him loud and clear "NO, DO NOT HIT". Then I would plop his butt in a chair for a four minute time out. After the timer beeps for four minutes and you and the child are both calm, I would explain to him that hitting is wrong and it hurts. See if he can come up with some ideas to help with his anger control. Such as hitting a pillow or going to his room when he feels out of control. Four is kind of young to understand his feelings, but it is old enough to obey simple rules.
You deserve more than being hit. If his parents won't deal with this behavior someone else has to. What happens when he is 15 and hits you?
You are in a tough spot. Good luck.
- 1 decade ago
Your boyfriend absolutely needs to follow through. He needs to teach his son that actions have consequences. If he does not then the issues will become much greater as the child grows up. And he's a little boy but he's old enough to know that hitting and biting is wrong.
If your boyfriend allows this behavior to continue, then you should not be present while his son is visiting.
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- 1 decade ago
heyhey talk to him before his son comes over and tell him wat he does and that you dont want him to get mad at you but it hurts your feelings when he does this....if my boyfriend son hits/kicks me i will confront him rite when the child does it but of course my man dont got any kids yet talk to you later