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I think me step daughter hates me?
O.K everytime I touch my step daughter she starts screaming and runs to any family that is around and shays that I am being mean and that I hurt her. One time we were getting realy to eat and I said come on let's change your shirt so we don't get it dirty and my husbands sister was sitting their and I picked her up to change her shirt and she started screaming and crying and ran to my husbands mom and said that I hit her and my sister in law was like no she didn't do anything. But it is like this all the time and I have done nothing but be nice and loving stepmother. Please help me
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
Kids suffer from their parent's poor choices, divorces, new mates, love lives, etc. Her behavior is an example of the level of stress and emotional distress this has caused. People just don't seem to grasp how painful it is for some children to have their family destroyed. She might "hate" you, because hating you is the only way she has to release her pain. Are you expecting a child to behave better than the adults did?
- justaLv 71 decade ago
How old is she? Whats unusual in a two year old can be pathological in a ten year old. If you are picking her up, I'm thinking fairly young, and she may have been told some really mean things about you. Trust in a youngster can be very hard to achieve when parents split and remarry and the best thing to do is talk to her when you have time and patience and try to ask her why she does that when you love her and have no intention of hurting her. If she can't due to age or ability explain herself, then perhaps family counseling would both cover your fanny in case her Mom is being nasty and foolish, and it would quite possibly aid you in forming a good relationship with her.
- 1 decade ago
Being a step mother can be very difficult. You and your husband need to identify what the problem is with your step daughter. The best way to do that would be to seek family therapy. Better to get to the source right away then let this go on and destroy your new family.
- Deirdre OLv 71 decade ago
She is not angry with you but taking her sadness out that her father and mother or no longer together. Although it is hard not to take to heart you should try not to take it personally. Small children have a hard time with emotions and often sadness will be replaced with anger. I encourage you to take it slowly with her she sounds like she needs a great deal of support right now. Find a good counselor for the both of you, to see individually. She may feel that now she has to compete with you for her dad's attentions and that she and her mother have lost him completely. Remember this little girl is grieving the loss of her family. Think about how the family unit is presented to small children and you will understand how she feels a little better. I know this is hard but you sound like you will help her work through these feeling and this will end up being rewarding for your relationship to each other. God bless.
- 1 decade ago
maybe she's having a hard time coping with the separation of her parents and she felt so lost and disturbed... she needed more attention... Probably talking to her and explaining things to her would somehow open her mind about whats happening around her... Constantly tell her that you will never and can never replace her mom, because you know that she (her mom) has been a great part and plays an important role in both her and her dads life, and that if ever she would just simply need someone to talk to and help her in anything she need you'll always be there for her... tell her that you love her and you hope that somehow she can find a place in her heart for you...
and lastly stretch your patience...
- JusMeLv 51 decade ago
She got manipulation down at a very young age. Maybe you, your husband, and her mother can sit down and discuss ways to rectify this through positive encouragement from all. It may be you'll just have to let the father deal with her if you don't have support in her behavior.
Maybe through time it will change. Just continue to be positive and honest because kids can sense when you really don't care for them or when somethings not quite right with someone.
- boricua_2290Lv 51 decade ago
OK LISTEN THIS HAPPEND TO ME... I DO HAVE A STEP DAUGTHER ALSO... SHE LOVED ME WHEN SHE WAS A BABY AND THEN AFTER SHE GOT BIG SHE HATED ME... MY STEP DAUGTHER WAS BEING ABUSED AT HER HOME??DOES YOUR IS WITH YOU IN VISITATIONS OR LIVES WITH YOU... IT ALSO COULD BE THAT HER MOTHER OR SIBBLINGS ARE TELLING HER SCARY THINGS ABOUT YOU....WHT I DID WAS I IGNORE HER BELIEVE ME THIS IS GOING TO SOUND MEAN BUT IT WORK FOR ME..WHEN EVER MY STEP DAUGHTER CAME FOR A VISIT I JUST MAKE SURE I DID EVERYTHING I WAS SUPPOSE TO FOR MY BOYS AND PLAY WITH THEM ALL AROUND THE HOUSE AND I RESPECT IT THE FACT SHE DIDNT WANTED TO BE TOUCHED OR TALK TO BY ME... IN TIME SHE GREW TIRED OF WATCHIN MY KIDS HAVE FUN WITH ME AND SHE CAME AROUND.. END UP TELLING ME EVERYTHING SHE WAS TOLD AND ALL THE ABUSE SHE WAS BEING PUT TROUGH AND NOW SHE LIVES WITH US.. SHE EVEN CALLS ME MOMMY... OK SO DO THIS JUST LIKE I SAID TO SEE WHAT HAPPEND.. BUT IM SURE THAT IS THEM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FAMILY MESSING WITH HER HEAD.IN THAT CASE IN TIME SHE WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE NOT THE WITCH THEY SAID YOU ARE. GOOD LUCK.
- blondieLv 41 decade ago
i am sure she is having problems with her parents not being together. and i am sure she wants attention. you should check out yahoo groups for step mom's i am in it, and i love it . it gives me a place to vent about step kids, biological mother etc.... and get advice from other women who know JUST waht you are going through. if you get a chance check it out
- Anonymous5 years ago
Hmmm, what a complicated issue. i might supply up attempting to do issues to get her to love you. Your husband additionally should sit down and clarify to her which you're his spouse and additionally you 2 are a set and additionally you're all a kinfolk and he or she would have the capacity to ought to get used to it. It facilitates surprisingly whilst your husband is on your element. I additionally do no longer think of you or your husband ought to tolerate her insulting you. If she would have the capacity to't say something advantageous, your husband ought to deliver her to her room. She is extra effective than welcome to talk approximately her thoughts in a advantageous way, yet consistently asserting that she hates you and additionally you have ruined her existence isn't efficient. different than that, you could ought to take a step back and wait it out. there is not any magic formula for making your doorstep teenagers such as you. attempt analyzing some books, incredibly StepMonster. ultimate of success to you!
- 1 decade ago
Take her out to the park, watch a movie with her, get to know her. Buy her something, let her know your not going away and you love her.