Cleo asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

speaking foreign language in front of non speakers?

How should you react when someone(my husband) speaks to his friend in front of me in another language. I've repeatedly told him that i think its in really poor taste to speak arabic when we and his friends go out.i love my husband and we have a great relationship But he still does it and it really bothers me. I told him what the problem with you guys, you all speak english and others (their girlfiends and wives- none are arabic)think its rude. when we're at dinner i dont want to constantly be saying" hey speak english, u're not alone" so i dont do it but i get visibly annoyed and ignore him for the rest of the night, and he ask me over and over again what's the problem but i am tired of repeating myself. its at the point where i don't want to go out with his friends anymore cause i'll be in a really bad mood.Someone please help me with this. i don't know what to do

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    while it's a hard language to learn, have you tried. otherwise, i would turn away and talk to one of the ladies -- look back at the guys and laugh hysterically and when they ask - what -- say sorry, girl talk or something. the other thing we would do - get up and walk away - once we went so far as to sit at another table -- they got the hint - good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes its rude, especially if they are doing this during a conversation everyone is invovled in. It is disrespectful and the fact that he choses not to remember why it bugs you makes it even more disrespectful. If he isn't willing to speak in English or translate what he said then maybe thats something you and he need to talk to a counsellor about. Because great relationship or not a problem that you obviously can't reslove on your own needs a mediator. Either that or you'll have to start learning arabic its up to you.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    What you have here is a clash of cultures. Since you've married someone of another culture, it would behoove you to try to ascertain as much as possible about his culture. There are many books on this topic including..

    http://www.amazon.com/Cultural-Heritage-Arabs-Isla...

    I would do a search and see if they are not available at your public library or Amazon.

    At first glance, I would assume that Arabs are not like Americans at all, that the Arab world has not undergone the progressive liberation of women we have, that men feel it is their inherent right to do certain things.

    Again, a clash of cultures. Who's right? You? yes. Him? yes. There are boundaries that you both cross that offend the other. You must learn of his culture, and he must study yours. Then, you must talk about it and arrive at a compromise.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is incredibly rude and arrogant - of course it's natural they prefer to speak in their native tongue, but not in front of their wives and girlfriends, who can't understand the language. My husband was from Spain, and whenever we stayed with his family, if I was in the room, he always spoke English, if he did speak Spanish with them, he would explain what he was saying, as their English was limited. If they can speak English, then they should speak it when they are with you. There is no excuse. It is very demeaning, firstly they can be talking about you, and you do not know, but even if they aren't, I would not put up with it - it is so bad mannered, and disrespectful.

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  • SNAP!
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    it is incredibly rude....i live on the US/mexico border and there are a lot of spanish speaking people where i live...tho i have no friends or loved ones who would be so rude as to carry on conversations in another language....if i were you, next time hubby said "hey let's go hang out with my buddies tonight" i'd say "no thanks, whenever you guys get together i feel ignored cuz you're speaking in arabic, and i just don't have a good time"....maybe he'll think twice about what he's doing....or, maybe you should just let him hang with his buddies without you-go do your own thing

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Did you know he did this before you married him? And aren't women relegated to the "seen but not be heard" category with Arabs? I agree it's rude, but that tells you what he thinks about you, doesn't it?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you are right it is rude, however you need to but your self in his shoos, If you were living in foreign country, and you find some people who spoke English it would natural for you to speak you native tongue. just keep on reminding him.

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  • Manny
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Uhm, you married an ARAB. They aren't excactly known for treating women with a lot of respect.

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  • 4 years ago

    It is extremely rude on so many levels. I have endured the same thing and I feel your pain. If I were you I would kick him in the nuts!

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  • Sarah*
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    Is he Arabic? Then yeah, he should if he is speaking to his friend.

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