What's the secret?

She has esteem problems I think, and I know why from a broad sense but still don't know the details. She had something terrible happen in a past relationship from what I can gather but doesn't have the strength to talk about it w/ me yet. Which is fine except for one thing. I think she feels like whatever it was was her fault, she should have seen it coming and now she doesn't trust herself and, hence, doesn't really trust me either although I don't think I've really given her any reason to doubt me. Anyone ever try dealing w/ a situation like this one? Any words of wisdom?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I am there, I understand how insecure and closed she feels. Know that and If you really love her, be with her, cuddle her, make her feel secure, be trustworthy... Show her the tiny little pretty things in her that she does not see. Bring her her self esteem back. Good luck.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Professional help is also a consideration, even if it's a member of the clergy (if she is religious at all, they still usually have at least a rudimentary counselling skill). Many people take bad experiences from one relationship into all the ones that follow it, which is natural: it's called "experience". Regardless, you can always assure her that you're not the person that hurt her before, and that she should take what she learned from the past, and use it to make herself a better person instead of dwelling on the negatives.

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  • 1 decade ago

    If she's NOT confident enough to trust you in ALL matters, then she's NOT worth bestowing your love upon. Love must be built on trust, otherwise it's like a house built on a sandy soil. Cheers!

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  • 1 decade ago

    if you just started dating,than give her time.

    its hard to get over something that was a heartbreak.I know from first hand experience.

    She will open up,in time.Just be there for her,and don`t pressure her to talk,as she may walk away from you,and I don`t think you want that.She needs to feel loved,and I`m sure you can give that to her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    as long as you try to show her support and let her know your there for whatever she needs even if its someone to talk to, that should help to warm up to you just try to stick by her and help her get away from what happened in the past...

    GOOD LUCK...

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  • 1 decade ago

    I'd say be patience. It's like gaining trust from a wild animal. It takes time till they fully trust. Obviously her trust was broken so make time your friend. =)

    Source(s): me me and me
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  • 1 decade ago

    When she's ready to talk she will, but don't go trying to force information out of her.

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  • 1 decade ago

    no words of wisdom all i can say is be there for her --- support her care for her love her --- even if she never tells she must feel safe with you

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Just be there for her, she will come around to tell you

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  • 1 decade ago

    ask her one more time and try to be suportive

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