Is this inopropiate?
My ex-wife is dating this guy which they have been dating for 10 months... He has a son of his own who is 14 years old, he never see's him nor pays child support.. He is rarely around my kids, i have a 10 and 5 year old. My daughter which is 5, had a thanksgiving feast day at school and the parents were invited to attend, i was offshore so i could not make it.. My ex goes and brings her boyfriend with her. Should i confront her about this r ignore it.. I think it was very inapropiate!!!! The last thing i want her to think is me being jealous of her bringing her boyfriend to my daughters classroom...
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
I think it is inapropriate if the relationship is not serious ie. engaged or close to it. I think it also depends on how your daughter felt about just her mother being there. She may not have wanted to be different from the other children. I have a six year old, and believe me, this is a big deal to them at that age.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
There are a couple issues. First, why would your ex have a relationship with a guy who fails to support or see his child? That is the most important. I can't understand why some women feel that THEIR children should be supported, but it's OK for their boyfriend to not support his children. As for her bringing him to a school function, there was nothing wrong with her friend attending, especially since you couldn't make it. You should ignore it, because even IF you don't like it, there is nothing you CAN do about it. You are jealous, or you'd never even have thought about asking this question.
- 1 decade ago
I am sorry that you missed your daughter thanksgiving feast. Just call your ex and tell her that you do not want that guy playing as your daughters father, cause he will never be as long as you are still in the picture.. If your daughter is sad or upset that you could not make it. Then take her out for a dad and daughter date. Take her to her favorite place and buy her a toy or some clothes. And tell her that you are sorry you could not make it. and that you love her very much. But dont feel like you have to brib her ok. She is your daughter and she should still love you no matter what. She is young. Just try not to miss anymore parents day at school.
- 1 decade ago
I undersand the frustration. My husband also missed out on things because of offshore work. No dont confront heer...That wouldnt do the kids any good. When you are hoome make it a point to go eat with her at least oncec at school (EACH TIME) This extra attention when its not a special day means more to them. My step children now live with us but my husband keeps up his monthly lunch date with them. I had to attend Kindergarten graduation without him. His ex wife came as well as her (then) live in boyfriend. I just smiled and carried my head high. It wasnt for her ut for the child. If you confront the mother it may cause problems for your child. Always put the child first.
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- babyj248Lv 41 decade ago
I dont think it was inappropriate, you couldnt be there so your wife was....her boyfriend comes along with the deal. Maybe if they had only been dating for a few weeks it would be wrong, but ten months is a good chunk of time and at least your child knows the man. If I were you I would talk to your child and let her know why you couldnt be there. let your daughter know that it was ok for the other man to be there too. The last thing you want to do is have your five year old having to chose sides and be in the middle of things.
- SmritiLv 51 decade ago
No, do not confront her. Look, irrespective of whether he is fulfiling his duties or not, your wife is obviously involved with him and he is at the least in a position to be in a 'guardian' position, if anything happens to you. While you do not like the idea of his being around your kids, it is a fact. It will actually be a good idea that your children feel at least comfortable and relaxed in his presence because they may have to tolerate him for whole of their lives. Antagonizing him will only expose them to the risk of developing big complexes that they most certainly do not deserve. Let it slide off. If your kids do not have a problem with this, be silent about it but if they do have a problem, tell them to try and behave friendly with him and not to worry, because though you were not there for the function, you will always be their father and will be there for them. They can always claim and demand their love from you and no one can intrude upon your close relationship and your attachment with your children.
- bountyhunter101Lv 71 decade ago
'Wow. This is tough. Yes you have to confront the issue. Don't take haste on this. She in all likelihood doesn't know that this has offended you and would be offended if you said anything right now. You need to look at this from a different perspective. I know is difficult. But you know the hurt and anger you feel is yours. Don't make it someone else's. Bide your time. The issue will present when is ready for all. Good luck to you.
- jdhsLv 41 decade ago
It's a tough one but here's my take on it. If your daughter knows who this man is then it isn't inappropriate. I don't know how significant her relationship is with this boyfriend of hers but if he is her future husband then obviously she is going to want to break him in to your daughter anyway. Although if this really irks you, then you should let your ex know. Maybe it's your ex's motive for bringing him along that upsets you the most....more than anything else.
If you don't want to sound as though you are jealous then confront her in a rational, adult manner.
- sinnedLv 71 decade ago
make it up to your kids when you can. talk to them and see them as often as possible. for now, the mother and boyfriend need to attend the school events, realizing you will eventually take your rightful place as hands-on dad.
- cowboys4leeLv 41 decade ago
That's a hard one to call.Talk to your ex about your concerns & try to work something out before it is too late