How can you tell if you husband is cheating on you? What are some signs?

Update:

Also, I am 8 1/2 months pregnant.

Update 2:

He works two jobs so I hardly ever see him.

6 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    With mine, he started spending more time on the computer and telling me he was at work and at school when he wasn't. He went back and forth between being withdrawn/uncommunicative and not being able to get enough of me. He was very skilled at lying, it turns out - I had had no clue for the past 12+ yrs. that he had cheated on and off. Even after he told me he was leaving he still insisted that he had not cheated. I found credit card records showing activity in a town 1/2 an hour away (where the coworker he was seeing lived) and payments to online dating sites, suspicious emails. I called his workplace on a Saturday he claimed he was working - he had gotten up, dressed for work, and even made sure he came home at about the same time he normally would - and security told me he was not there. I even had them doublecheck the sign-in sheets and check with his supervisor. I also found that he had been taping my phone conversations for years - on a recorder and through the computer (our phone was hooked up through the computer for fax purposes, supposedly).

    Now in my case all of this is more extreme - it turns out my ex was bipolar but not diagnosed or treated until he left. If you are having suspicions about your spouse, it could be because of pregnancy jitters. You are getting ready to go through quite a change in lifestyle soon, your body has gone through a huge change (and will again), and your spouse is probably having some fears about what your life is going to be like after baby is born. He might be worried about the horrors he hears from others . . . a lower sex drive on your part, baby getting all of the attention, sleep being a thing of the past. This is new territory for him, too. All of the attention has probably been on you for the majority of the pregnancy. I would work toward reassuring him how important he is to you. I would also try to set up a game plan for after baby is born (especially if this is a first child) - expectations on diaper changing, how difficulties will be handled (sleepless nights, colic, etc.), how you will find time to still be a 'couple', your families (unsolicited advice or how to get family more involved, in rare cases - my ex-in-laws didn't believe in helping out), potential money matters (if this applies), how you will handle strife or even lagging libidos . . . if you haven't already addressed most of this. You might even want to think about enlisting the help of a good Christian/family counselor ahead of time to get you through potential tough times - or even to head them off before they happen. Give him some good books on what you are going through - your local bookstore or even a counselor can probably recommend some great choices. Even if he's not much of a 'book' person gently encourage him to do it for himself as well as for you and baby. All couples should have Gary Chapman's 'The Five Love Languages' on their nightstands with relevant pages earmarked and the pages well-worn from repeated readings. His sequel Love Language books for children and teen-agers would be good to pick up for the future, too, lol.

    I guess you will have to dig deep and ask yourself why you suspect he might be cheating. If you have evidence that points that way you need to get both of you into counseling ASAP and start figuring your future out.

  • rjrmpk
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Cheese & crackers...where to start?

    Change in daily habits

    Changed style of underwear

    Change of cologne or aftershave

    Unexplained trips

    Unexplained absences

    Private phone calls

    New email address

    Having to run to the store after phone call

    Working late

    Working early

    Loss of interest in sex ('cause he getting it elsewhere)

    New sexual techniques

    Smell his penis

    Source(s): Private detective
  • 1 decade ago

    if hes out alot ,and always trying to talk on the phone privately, always taking bussiness trips, and always got a professional dinner

  • 1 decade ago

    When he loses interest in having sex with you

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  • 1 decade ago

    sounds exactly like my problem.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    He's breathing!

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