How do I make people want to talk and be around me?

I spend my weekends doing homework; sleeping and watching TV because I have no friends do something with. I don't know if it is my physical appearance or my personality that makes people feel uncomfortable around me. Whenever i sit down by myself at a college lecture class, I notice that people will usually walk past me and sit somewhere else; perhaps next to someone person that "they" don't even know. I find it hard to conversate with people. Is this abnormal, am I doing something wrong, I'm just a regular guy that wants to fit in with my classmates. Should i accept this as normal behavior of who I am? Please help...

7 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    People might not be walking past you on purpose, it could be where you are sitting. Most people will not sit next to someone who is sitting in the front row, or at an aisle. Are you doing this? If so it could be that simple. I don't know anything about your appearance, but see if it conforms to normal standards. If not, you must chose if you want individuality versus normalcy. I recommend that you smile at people, appear confident, and when you do interact with people, ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. It also helps to compliment them, but be careful. You do not want to seem like you are doing it just to gain friends. You must do it in a genuine way. People also don't like it when you look at them too intensely. Make sure the amount of eye contact is appropriate.

  • Philo
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    People don't all that often converse (not "conversate") in college classes unless they already know each other. Class isn't social, it's academic. AFTER class, a question or comment to a classmate is fine and might be the start of further conversation. Maybe an invitation to talk about class at the coffee shop? (offer to buy) Instead of watching TV on weekends, get out and DO things. Where do people go jogging? Where's the gym where they work out? Do they gather anywhere to study -- cafeteria, library, etc? Are there theaters, restaurants, etc where students often go? What about school athletic events? Football games? Soccer matches? Girls volleyball?

    Friends have shared interests. Get interested in something outside of yourself and you'll meet people with the same interest.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have the same problem, but for me the problem is being comfortable enough with myself to actually initiate a conversation or try to start making friends myself. You might try starting a random conversation with the person next to you about the class you're in or whatever. Maybe join a club or group. Good luck on this one, just be confident in yourself and don't pass up the chance to make new friends wherever you are.

  • john h
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    If you are good at one subject help someone who isnt if your bad in a subject ask for help there is your first friend be yourself dont try to be what cheer leaders want .Learn some clean jokes to be a bit humourous girls like that also movies news and current events help sometimes .You start with one they have a friend who has a friend and so on it goes the circle of friends grows.

    Source(s): It all starts with one at first trying too many at once you are bound to fail as you dont have the confidence GOODLUCK it will work !!!
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  • 1 decade ago

    I use to have this problem.. and what I figured out about myself was i was sending all the wrong signals.. Head down..or looking anywhere but at people...arms crossed..defensive posture...I have found if i will just make eye contact and say a casual hey or how r u? people talk to me don't have to start out with big conversations..just say something casual say..something about the classwork...or general observations about classroom or subject. I have found most people love to talk to anyone who will listen..some are just as shy and feel just as awkward and are waiting for someone to talk to them. I don't think appearance as anything to do with it afterall its not 4th grade...Pay attention to your body laungage next time..they may think you want to be alone..

    Source(s): Ex-hermit
  • 1 decade ago

    I think you should try talking to some people and try to be comfortable with who you are. Join a club or something of your interest and then you'll be in an enviorment with people you will have something to talk about. Just be casual and dont tense up. You'll do fine =]

  • be yourself, say hi to people you know , ask them questions . even if you know the awnser. don't try to please other's . please yourself . offer to take someone out for a coke or movie. if they say no ,say thank you . make sure your clothes and body is clean .

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