cindy p asked in HealthOther - Health · 1 decade ago

nosy pessimistic in-laws?

i swear i have the most negative and nosy in-laws. hubby had some chest pains tues morning. he had a routine stress test earlier and all results were good. er doc said all tests while in er were good. transferred him to city where they did a cardiac cath that resulted in no blockage..all normal..no clue what caused the chest pains. was sent home in good health. went to dinner with friends and had a couple drinks that evening. bro-in-law called our friends next day to ask if we went with them for dinner and did we have a drink.and then proceeded to yell at him that he needed to go dry out and what are you trying to do kill yourself. he has a few drinks but they are like totally against it and if you touch a drink you are crap. then blamed him for dad's blood sugar went up for worrying. hubby never misses doc appt, takes meds like he should. i am sick of this crap.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your husband has to be the one to tell them to back off, and even then, don't hold your breath.

    My mother in law thinks i'm a lush because I have a glass of wine with dinner. After years of telling her to MYOB, I told my husband if he didn't step up, she was gonna be 6 feet under by the next family gathering.

    He finally got thru to her and now she just talks about me behind my back to the rest of the family who, incedetilly tell her to MYOB.

  • 1 decade ago

    I have a friend who has a weak heart due to pneumonia that he completely ignored. (it affected his heart) His sisters and Mom are always very worried about him and also tell him what he shouldn't be doing. His wife is a very good friend of mine also, so she told me about how frustrated she was when they told him to stay at home while she went to attend her Dad's funeral overseas. She said that it would have been best for him to accompany her and the kids instead of staying home worrying about her and the kids.

    It's normal for ones immediate family to worry.... and it's normal that they voice out their opinion.

    Let me ask you the following: when the parents and the brother have problems in their lives, does your husband ever feel like he has to give his 5 cent in.... maybe even tell them also what they shouldn't be doing, because he loves them and worries about them? What I'm trying to tell you is that, if that's his way of showing them that he cares.... then it's a bit hypocritical to deny the parents and brother the right to worry and care about him also. Just make sure to reassure the family that the decision was made by both of you. Always use the word "we" and "us".... to make them aware that you both are a unit, be graceful in your words and actions, because it's the right of blood relatives to care. Humble yourself,... because although you are the wife- you are not even blood related to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    I wonder if you could get into their hands or yours: Guide to rational Living by Harper and Ellis, and The Tough Minded Optimist by N V Peale, and Learned Optimism by Seligman.

    Are you living with them? If not a visit could be a test of your stamina, believe they are sick with the pessimism and you are visiting sick peoeple and reward yourself afterwards. Best of wishes.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Tell the monster-in-laws to back off. You and your husband are adults and can handle your own lives and social life, and decisions without their input

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  • 1 decade ago

    Maybe it's just me, cause I'm mean like that, I'd say if it worries you so damn much just leave us alone and stop calling. Hell, I HAVE said that!

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