My Fear of Getting Married?

I am terrified of growing up. I'm not particularly good-looking, and I don't have an outgoing personality, so I really don't ever intent on getting married. My parents fight alot, and I inherited alot of health problems from them.

Instead, I want to adopt a child when I come of age. Can I do this as a single woman? What do you guys think?:/ I think I was meant to raise kids (I love them :) but also enjoy my life as a single.

14 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Yes, single women can adopt children. I think you should wait until you have a career and are making good money for adopting a child, though.

    You are right to be wary of marriage. Your parents probably instilled in you a secret desire to get attracted to quarellosome men and to manipulate children a lot.

  • 1 decade ago

    Miss Kiki--

    You sound like a wonderful person with a big heart. There are so many things you can do grown up that you can't do as a child, so you can expect good things to happen.

    Neither being "good-looking" or having an "outgoing personality" will determine what your experience in life is destined to be.

    You can decide now that you will not follow in your parents footsteps and learn how not to live their life by the choices you make.

    You may find someone who has your same values with whom to share your life; however, happiness is not dependent on being married. Happiness is a choice.

    Adopting a child when you come of age sounds like a wonderful idea. You can do this as a single woman and what a blessed child to be loved by you. You were probably meant to raise kids and yet enjoy your life as a single. I wish you the best!

  • 1 decade ago

    Many a lady are doing this now and a good financial career is the best thing to have before you consider adopting it is not cheap

    average adoption can cost I believe 10-50 thousand dollars depending on the age, gender, race, etc. plus I do believe children raised with a couple are much more secure in there life decisions and have a more diverse upbringing. Don't give up on marriage you sound young things change.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Go ahead and adopt. If you can make time for a child with your career and your other commitments, you have every right to do so. Now I, on the other hand, want to stay single and not have to take care of a child. My opinion of a children is this: Nice place to visit, wouldn't wanna live there.

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  • 1 decade ago

    All that is subject to change later on, especially when you meet Mr Right! Don't make up your mind completely, not just yet anyway. If you feel the same way at 25, then, move on with your plans. Until then, keep an open mind on the subject. Good Luck!!

  • 1 decade ago

    I'm so sorry for your family situation. But being married is natural life of woman. A lot of women have medical problems because they don't be married and have children. Don't be afraid to get married, every woman will get married if she get the right man to becomes her husband.

    Don't take a chance to living together without marriage. With marriage, a man will take responsibilities to care and love a woman whom he marry with. Otherwise married man can do bad things with his wife, how do you guarantied that he can do better to his girlfriend without marriage?

    Another thing is, in ideal condition, children need both of mother and father to grown up normal, physically, mentally and socially. They need both of characteristics to support them to develop their personalities. So, raise a child is not as simple as just only giving a child shelter and food.

    But whatever, don't care too much, don't afraid to get married, and do your best for your future. Believe that the right man will come and give happiness to your life. Take care.

  • 1 decade ago

    Many single adults adopt children.

    However, I think you mentioned many things that you should explore in getting comfortable with yourself and your own skin. You may wish to speak to a professional on these matters.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey why not? There are a lot of single mothers raising their kids and doing a good job of it. As long as you can be a good parent to them and they are well provided for, I don't see anything wrong with it.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hmmm.... tough call.

    I don't think the law allows singles to adopt as of right now. I think you have to prove you can provide a suitable/proper household environment for any children you might want first.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    This is what you should do. Work hard, get yourself financially situated, and then adopt a child. Don't raise a child in poverty.

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