Whats happening?

i been with my husband nearly 4 years.

we having been living with each other for 3 years now. we were really mad for each other. we always used to ring each other when ever we have a chance too. just to check how each other are and to say i love u etc. we used to ring at lunch time and after work, even though we meet up in 20 min to go home to our house.

yes we did have few little rows etc, but always made up. he puts up with me and the occasional mood swings and i put up with him etc.

we married recently, nearly a month now.

recently we harldy talk to each other, we never phone each other at lunch or after work like we used to. when we at home, we dont have much to say to each other. when we go home together in the car we dont say much part from how was work. we dont cuddle and kiss like we used to. husband finds me irrititating. we have arguments about family issues, but we do still make up after argument. dont have sex that often like we used to. only 1x week or 1 in 2 weeks


we dont go out at weekends as we have tight budget since buying the house. so we just rent out a film. he doesnt make much effort in lokking good and expects me to all the timee, which i do. i know the main thing that is happening right now is because i dislike his family as when i went to see them they ignored me like i wasnt even in the room.

what should i do? i want it back the way it was/? i mean i know we been living togther for a while, but we only been married for 3 weeks. he went through my email, which i sent to my freind. he was angry what i written on the email.

i wrote that "his family needs training on how to treat people nicely, especially to those u havent ever met before, and not to be so rude and ignorant when someone is being nice" he wasnt supposed to read that. i told him that anyway before i wrote email. told him everthing how they hurt me.

Update 2:

to grandm

am not critising his family. i made so much effort with his family, yet they refused to look at me let alone speak to me. i was puttinga smile and trying to make conversation to my husbands family even though they ignored me. i am not in te wrong. i did my bit.

8 Answers

  • faith
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    It will get better! I have been with my husband for almost 3 years and we got married in July of this year (4 months). For the first 2 months all we did was fight! We had even said the "D" word! (Divorce)! We weren't having sex, he was cold and unaffectionate, we were experiencing jealously for no reason. It was rough! We had lived together before we got married so I didn't understand what was going on. Marriage changes things though! I found that out fast. Finally we worked through it all. It just took time and talking about everything. We have been getting along so much better the past 2 months! I am finally happ again and remember the reasons why I married my husband!! We are actually getting back to the way things used to be. I don't know if getting married adds pressure or what but things sure got different. They say that the first year is the hardest and if you make it through that you got it made. My husband and I both promised to each other that we wouldn't give up on each other. That we would make this work. So far so good. I think what you are experiencing is normal. It will pass!! Just keep on believing in each other and your marriage! Don't give up on one another!!! I will keep you guys in my prayers!

  • Ade
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Here's what I saw:

    1) Money is tight.

    2) His family doesn't like me.

    3) We just got married.

    4) He broke into and read my personal email.

    These don't all spell a happy honeymoon. Even if you've been living together for a long time, marriage can kill a relationship. I wouln't believe it but it happened to me. Marriage can freak some people out.

    The worse thing that freaks people out - money. Especially guys. If money is tight right now, he may feel pressured. Guys take this stuff reallllllllllllly seriously. Make absolutely sure that you don't ask for too much, and be sure to gush about how much you love the house often.

    His family doesn't like you - that's their problem. But it will trickle down onto him. Why don't they like you? Are they unreasonable bastards or do they have reason?

    And change your email password immediately. That is a total breach of trust what he did. If my man did that I'd kick him so hard he wouldn't see straight for three days.

  • 1 decade ago

    Things tend to get old and tired if you don't make them a priority. The first year of marriage is the most difficult, even if you've been living together before. It's an adjustment for both of you. You take the initiative and call him more. Try to be understanding and, above all, talk to him about your feelings. Chances are, he's just settling into the married life and doesn't even realize you have a problem! Good luck!

  • grandm
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Several things appear to be going on. First, you've settled into marriage, and your husband is taking you for granted; this is very common. Next, you're criticizing his family, which creates alot of tension. Try a romantic dinner at home, dress up really sexy for it. Also, go out of your way to be nice to his family, even if it's hard for you to do. That way, he can't blame you for not making the extra effort. Best of luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    im not an expert cause im not married, but maybe being 'married' has put pressures on both of you about how to act...like a good married and sterotypical couple who just assume that the other person is always goingto love them no matter what they do because they are 'married'. Im not sure, but just because u are married shouldnt mean your relationship chemistry has. Be patient and communicate

  • 1 decade ago

    Okay, you've gotta make the first move here... I noticed you kept refering to "we". Why have you stopped doing the things that seemed to make you happy? Because he quit??? Just start calling him again, you make the first move when you go to bed,... you tell him how much he turns you on... he might act like it kinda annoys him at first, but, he'll get back into the swing of it, you just need to make the first move... Good Luck

  • 1 decade ago

    you really need to talk bout this! if not get a mariage counsellor

  • 1 decade ago

    umm oh

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