CC
Lv 6
CC asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

有人可以幫我校正我的英文獎學金申請信嗎?(很急~20點)

因為我現在的在國外的大學提供我獎學金申請的機會,所以我想要試試看.因為我讀的事ESL,所以英文還沒有說很好.希望英文還不錯的人可以幫我看一下看有沒有哪裏錯誤需要改正的或是有更好的寫法讓句子更通順 麻煩請跟我說跟我說。謝謝各位! 以下是全文:Dear whom it may concern,     I'm writing a letter with regard that ○○ University-College offers this scholarship for students.         I'm a student in Foundation 2, ESL Department. This semester is my second semester in Canada .  Before coming to Canada , I was a student in high school in Taiwan . I found that as me a student whose major is English, it was not enough that only learn English in my home town. My parents suggested me to come to Canada to keep studying. Before coming to Canada , I had had a part time job and save some money, and this money became a part of my tuition. Now, my English is not good enough to get a part time job, so I want to get the scholarship for reduce the economic pressure of my parents. My brother is studying in university in Taiwan . He knew my parents have to work hard for paying both of our tuition fees, so he also tried to get scholarship to pay this tuition. I ‘m a part of my family, and I also want to take some responsibility on my family.     I plan to keep studying ESL and then go to academic. I think ○○ University-College offers me this opportunity to apply for the scholarship which is good for me to pay my next semester tuition fees or homestay fees. I hope ○○ University-College can help me to accomplish my goal, and I will keep studying hard and do my best for improving my English. Best regards,                                                                            Sincerely,                                                                                     OOO                                                                                Oct,26,2006

4 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Dear whom it may concern,     I'm writing a letter with regarding to that ○○ University-College offers this scholarship to students.         I'm a student in Foundation 2, ESL Department. This semester is my second semester here in Canada .  Before coming to Canada , I was a student in high school from Taiwan . I found that as a student whose major is English, it was not enough that only learn English in my home town, but both my parents suggested me to come to Canada to keep studying.      Before coming to Canada , I had had a part time job and have saved some money, and this money became a part of my tuition. My English is not good enough to get a part time job here in Canada, so I want to get the scholarship for reduce the economic pressure of my parents. My brother is studying in university in Taiwan, and he knew my parents have to work hard for paying both of our tuition fees, so he also tried to get scholarship to pay this tuition. As I'm a part of my family, I also want to take some responsibility on my family.     I plan to keep studying ESL and then go to academic. I think ○○ University-College offers me this opportunity to apply for such scholarship which is good for me to pay my next semester's tuition fees or homestay fees. I hope that ○○ University-College could help me to accomplish my goal, and I will keep studying hard and do my best for improving my English ability. Sincerely yours, OOOOctober 26,2006加油!!                              

    Source(s): ~Self~
  • Katy
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    其實, 我覺得就是因為不清楚不了解才會把問題 po 在這邊, 請清楚了解的人幫忙, 而不是幫忙幫一半, 然後以批評的語氣提出建議 (語氣可以和緩些吧),因為不是每個人都可以花四年時間專攻英文一項,若是這樣, 也不需要求助了吧?!

  • 1 decade ago

    Dear whom it may concern,

    I’m writing a letter that regarding to the XX University College offers a scholarship for students.

    I’m a student, who is studying in the Department of English as Second Language (ESL), in Level two. This semester is my second semester in Canada. Before I came to Canada, I was a high school student in Taiwan. Actually, I like to study English this subject. However, I found out if I want to improve my English skill, it was not good enough only stay in Taiwan to learn it because I didn’t have this kind of environment and people were speaking Chinese around me. I didn’t have any chance to speak in English. Therefore, my parents suggested me to come to Canada to study. I got a part-time job before I came to Canada. I have to save my salary, so I can pay my tuition fee. At this moment, my English is not very fluent for me to get a part-time job, so I would like to apply for this scholarship.

    先翻到這吧 這位大大~~你真的該改一下內容了喔~~越翻越怪說~~應該像樓上那位說的 把自己的優點說出來 我想成功的機率比較大吧~ 你說的太籠統了

    Sorry didn’t help u that much

  • 1 decade ago

    To whom it may concern,

    I am pleased to learn the information of scholarship you offered and writing a letter to recommend myshelf.

    I am studying for the second semester at present in Foundation 2, ESL (不要簡寫)Department in Canda. Before coming to Canada , I was a student in a high school in Taiwan. My parents suggested me to keep studying in Canada for the purpose of English skill.

    先改到這~~~

    2006-10-27 13:43:27 補充:

    樓上的改的文法仍有錯,而且英文書信這樣寫真得太流水帳了,真要改結構都要更動,而且你的訴求太軟性了,應該說明你的優點,而不是父母的辛苦,獎"學"金的意思請再深思內容

    Source(s): 文藻英文畢業校友
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