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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 1 decade ago

Does anyone else have a baby that wont let you put them down or walk away or anything?

My 8 month old daughter will NOT let me put her down for longer than like 5 mins. she cries if I walk away and she doesnt like to sleep she cries to sleep she will not go to anyone else she just wants to be with Me not even my husband Im going NUTS this is not my first child just my first clingy one. She nurses so I know that has some to do with it.. and TRUST me I have tried just about everything from letting her cry to letting other people hold her and deal with it it doesnt work I know there are more things I can be doing I am trying everything I am at my wits end with her!!! I cant get household chores done the ONLY time she is REALLY happy is in the car unfortunatly I cant move into my car for her HaHa Also she is VERY happy when I carry her around I wear her in slings So that helps but I cant do alot of cleaning when I am wearing her.. I dunno any advice From Someone who goes through this or has gone through this would be awesome thank you

Update:

I am not going to Stop nursing that is a ridiculous answer.. and to tell my 8 month old she is a big girl?? Umm K Thank you to all the people who answer Responsibly if you dont have a child please pass up my question.. She wont sit in a bouncy chair or swing she crawls and is ready to walk soon.. Too active for that!

11 Answers

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  • gussie
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't think that nursing is the source of the problem.In my experience it is behaviour that was unwittingly encouraged by a parent who held the child almost all the time and as such the chilld felt most secure while being held.An infant does not need to be held for every minute of the day.I held my babies, rocked them to sleep sometimes and played with them.Sometimes they would play with their toys. I think it is a mistake to have a baby sleep in the same room as the parents when they are a little older because I feel they never learn to feel safe and secure out of the parent's sight line.You must try make your child feel secure without always being held. Try leaving her for a few minutes in her bed,even if she cries.After a few minutes you can comfort her and tell her you are there.Extend the period of time. It will be a lengthy process but it should work.

    Source(s): Good luck.I am not saying you are a bad parent you have just fallen into a trap a lot of parents fall into.Your baby will love you for giving her some space too.
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi ..first thing is, its okay, you're going to be alright, and your baby is going to be alright. Second off, she can crawl now, and what she is doing is normal by all standards. Once babies can crawl they get intense seperation anxiety. I am not sure how old your other children are? She is not clingy because you are nursing, i can assure you it has nothing to do with it. My first son was exactly the same way and he was only nursed for a little over a week, so ending the breastfeeding relationship does nothing to solve this. What I did for me, is that I always brought him into whatever room I was working in. At this point she is ready for you to start talking and reassuring and distracting, and allowing her to watch when you have the energy by using a backpack or carrying her. My son always wanted tos ee what i was doing, at the counter, ect which was a big part of the problem. Also he was bored and by watching me he was really interested. yes it sucked. And sometimes, you can't hold them because you are too busy. You can try diversions, I always had to do that, but always kept him in the same room as me too. Sometimes, I would give him a cookie or biscuit while I did the dishes if I was tired of trying ot carry him, or I would put him in the high chair up high so he was next to me w/some stuff and let him watch as I loaded the dishwasher and washed the counters down. He felt like when he was able to see what i was doing that he was better. I had my 2nd baby when he was 18 months, and at that point, I would have to say sorry I have to feed the baby first, and I would try to sit on the couch w/both and let hi m have turns holding the baby, ect. More than likely your baby is bored and wants to feel included and stimulated. Some kids are more intellegient and more inquisitive than others, and these kids will be a little more difficult when they are young, so if nothing else, know that your baby just wants to feel involved and see what you are doing. Like I said, its partly boredom, and partly seperation anxiety. But if she is in the same room and she is pulling at your pant leg to be pickedup, you can also start at this age, saying "Just a minute mommy has to do this first..then point and say "see...look..mommy has to wash the counter first". Then if she still cries..say "no! mommy said just a minute" and keep reiterating, and make sure if you do that, to train her by only doing it when you really will be done in just a minute. This way she will learn what it means.."just a minute" and then after awhile, you will be able to put her off for longer and longer as she learns...you can also say "just a minute, mommy has to wash the counter..do you want a cookie while you wait?..or milk or whatever". She will definitly learn as long as you do this consistently that "in just a minute" you CAN and WILL hold her, but "just a minute" FIRST. If that makes sense?

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  • 1 decade ago

    Put her down and let her cry. It's hard, but some babies need that.

    How is switching to a bottle going to solve anything? Wonderful advice, ignore your kid. Take away the perfect form of nutrition, and ignore her as well. As far as telling her she's a big girl, and that she should be playing with toys instead, please keep in mind this is an 8 month old infant. While a positive tone of voice is beneficial, being a 'big girl' doesn't mean squat. Most kids don't get that concept down til around 2 years old.

    Maybe it would also be beneficial if people without children of their own refrained from answering childrearing questions.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Whatever you do, do NOT stop breastfeeding just because your daughter is clingy! That is horrible advice.

    You are going to have to break your daughter of this by letting her discover it's ok if you are not holding her 24/7. If you are sure she is not hungry, wet, etc. place her in her bed or a bouncy seat andwalk away. When she cries come back once and assure her she is fine and leave again. Eventually it should stop. It's ok to let a baby cry within reason.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I am a mother of 2 and also a preschool teacher at this age since she isnt walking yet and isnt quite ready to just say be a big girl, i think that since she is taking your away from doing things that need to be done and possibly taking up time from your other children and your husband. you should contnue nursing her for now and give her equal amount of time as you do the other children but regardless if she gets upset you should aslo be able to give her to your husband for a while to grow a bond with him she only cries for you because you continue to give in there should be a time for nursing napping play time and time away from her to move about and explore on her own. i think if you dont give in to her so easily she will start to do things without being on your hip. Im not trying to insult you in anyway but we get the same kids at my preschool like these that wont let you put them down and its because they are conditioned that if they cry and throw fits they will eventually get their way, but the reality of it is this although you may give you child all the attention in the world in my job i have to give attention to all the children and not just one child, and i dont have time to tote one around all day, so if you work and have to get childcare its best to try to prepare them for different settings.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    i had the same thing with my daughter. she was in hospital for 10 days and the nurses held her all the time, when i got her home she wouldnt sleep in a cot, always had to be with me. i slept sitting up cuddling her. i dont know the answer, but your not alone. i never did resolve it, she was clingy too, but grew out of it eventually, took about 3 years. my house was a bomb site for most of the day. it wont be forever tho, remember that, maybe just sigh and put up with it. but that doesnt help much does it? sorry, good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    It sounds as if she has trained you. Quit nursing her and make her drink from a bottle. And she should be playing with toys and other fun things rather than being held by you. Do your chores and ignore her. She will eventually realize that crying and whining doesn't get her anywhere. It will be hard but just ignore her little fits if she's been fed and changed. You might also try her on a sippie cup. Sometimes they like it, especially if you tell her what a big girl she is. And be sure to praise her for good behavior.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Same here!!!!!!!! Only my son is 10 months and just started this phase, like you, i've tried everything, but nothing seems to work....... All i can do is pray that it's just a phase that will go away soooooooooooooon. Oh, there was one day when things were a little better, i had to run errands and couldn't take him along, so i took him to a day care center, that afternoon he was ok letting me go..... Do you think that could be an option, eventhough i think he is too young to go to day care..... What do you think?

    Good luck to both of us and all others like us ;)

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  • 1 decade ago

    You need to put her down. She will cry, but in time she will learn to entertain herself. I do not recommend stopping breastfeeding. It is very healthy for your child and a great bonding experience. I stopped breastfeeding my daughter over a year ago and still miss it every single day.

    Have you tried a bouncy seat that has a vibrate feature?

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  • jusme
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    You need to as hard as it will be let her cry. She has to learn that you have other things to do. If you do not stop this now when she turns two you will really have problems because children almost all develop some sort of clingy behavior at that age.

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