icu812 asked in Social SciencePsychology · 1 decade ago

How do I push past these feelings of sadness, lonliness, rejection and depression?

Every year starting on my birthday in October I get the "winter blahs". My birthday marks the beginning of the holiday season for me and I get the symptoms of Seasonal Affectiveness Disorder that doesn't go away until March. But this year I am on Seraquel and Topamax for BiPolar Disorder so I know I don't have a chemical imbalance in my brain. This is "all in my head". It wouldn't matter if my b-day was in July and Thanksgiving and Xmas were in August- I would get the blues then because of the stress of the holidays and what the holidays represent to me.

On my birthday this year I started "taking inventory" and for another year I am alone, I have not matured any mentally. I feel like a 27-year-old in a 33-year-old body. I am going to school but I can't work full-time and go to schol full-time like a lot of married w/ children peers I know. I get lonely during holidays.I'm not on speaking terms with the insane half of my family. How do I avoid these feelings every winter?

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    My first thought when i read this was; you simply arent fulfilling your desires of life. You mentioned women with children, married etc. The seasonal thing is not central to your condition its only peripheral because there are people who thrive or prefer a cold climate so its a peripheral to you. Sounds like you need to get involved in more "survival" groups. This may sound cliche or corny but join a church, a singing group, a political action committee, mentor at a girl scouts club, teach literacy skills at your local library. These are just a direction(s) to consider. If it helps join a dating website and specify that you are looking for a penpal only. Let whatever develop - develop from there. But you definitely need to get out more. Oh on the family thing, we can pick our freinds but we cant pick our family they are just as human as the ones you pick. They are not worse or better, we expect them to be better cause we know them or love them but the truth is they are not better than anyone else you meet. So expect less it will be easier on you to get along with them. And hey, if you're feeling that down my email is up there, you can find me some where, im a child of God and a netizen. Dont suffer in silence or alone.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Get one of those mood lamps . It's true that the winter months can bring the "blahs" .Some people suffer from heortophobia , which is a fear of holidays .It could be that you may have expectations regarding your birthday & other events ; and I suspect those needs just aren't met . Try having no expectations at all ; and make your own fun . Do something you have been wanting to do , or make all your own plans -either way , you will not be expecting the unknown because you made all the choices . Even if it is just going to a movie and dinner alone -it was your choice . There's nothing wrong with that . Many people in your age group started families too young and would give anything to be carefree and getting their education ." The grass is always greener ". Plan to take a vacation during the holidays . Join a group ; volunteer or visit the elderly , or shut-ins during the holidays . Focusing on others is the best medicine . Stop "taking inventory" , it isn't working . It's like a man in Alcatraz marking off the days . Go where the people are . Try going to the library or a bookstore on Tuedsday nights for awhile . Eventually , you'll meet that special someone . When you least expect it . Not when you are marking off the days .

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  • 1 decade ago

    Focus on your gifts and share them with others. You may be an artist, or a good listener, or you might understand certain people in ways that others do not. You don't have to be perfect, you only have to be yourself. When one gives without expecting a return, one is emotionally and spiritually lifted.

    Martin Luther King, Jr made a great quote about a streetsweeper. It begins "If a man is called to be a streetsweeper ...". It was his understanding of Colossians 3:23-24 in the bible.

    As you enter the this winter season, take the small steps to share your gifts with others and you will find over time that your stride will grow longer and more powerful. You are valued greatly by people you do not know. And know without any doubt that you are completely and fully loved.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you don't have any pets, you should consider spending a few hours, or more, each week doing volunteer work at a local animal shelter. Animals don't celebrate holidays & they are happy to see you anytime & they could care less how you look or feel! They just want your hand on their fur & they won't call the supervisor or police if you don't give them what they want. They will wait until you are ready to make contact with them & when you do, you will notice that they have a way of making your insane family seem like they never existed & you will laugh again when the animals show you that it's safe to be you around them! Try it & see. If you don't want to volunteer, then just drop by & visit them. Pet shops are good too. It's free & fun 4 all!

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  • 1 decade ago

    My birthday is in October too. I always look forward to it -- even though I'm turning 35 this year, because it comes with thanksgiving (in Canada) and Halloween -- all lots of fun.

    Instead of dreading the holidays that are coming, why not enjoy what is here now?

    Try throwing a cool tradition birthday/ Halloween themed party for your birthday every year and give yourself something to look forward too instead.

    People who have SAD benefit greatly from exposure to the sun -- why not try going to a tanning booth to get those "rays".

    Figure out what it is about the holidays that makes it stressful. If it's your family. then think about going on a tropical vacation this year and avoiding the whole family thing for one year.

    There are ways around making it miserable and doing things that always seem to make you unhappy.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Beep Beep - Logic failure: Being on medication does not mean you don't have a chemical imbalance. The brain has an amazing ability to adapt w/ the corresponding medication need. As a bp I think I own 1/3 of a pharmacy on "worked once upon a time."

    Second - it sounds like you need a sun lamp.

    Third - support group

    Fourth - prayer

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Here's what helps me. I let myself have my bad days. Get off the couch and make yourself do something you don't want to do. For instance, the other day all I wanted to do was stay in bed but a friend of mine encouraged me to take a walk in the woods among the changing tree colors and it was the BEST thing for me! I came back rejuvinated. Push yourself out of your comfort zone sometimes. Bake cookies or bread. It makes the house smell homey and yummy on days you decide to hide out at home.

    You don't have to measure up to what your married w/children peers are. That 'keeping up with the Joneses' thing is a waste of time. You are not them...you are you and you need to accept it and do what you can. Stop comparing yourself to others. I don't want to point out the mental illness thing here...but when you're like us you can only do so much and we need to be happy with what that is or we'll always be disappointed in ourselves.

    Now as for the holidays...for me they mean nothing. So I can't help you there. It's just another time of year when people are supposed to be the happiest and yet the most people commit suicide at these times...hmmm, not so good. Holidays are really just pretty meaningless traditions passed on generation to generation. I give a gift to someone I love when I'm inspired to do so...not because the calendar reads 'Christmas'.

    I have an insane half of my family too. We are not on speaking terms for many years now. I say big deal! I didn't pick my family...I do pick my friends and I'm happy to spend time with them instead of people who make me feel like crap. Try to keep your house bright this winter. Get out and get sun even on the cold days, it helps. I hope your meds are helping. I can't take them and deal on my own. It's difficult at times but I'm still alive. Good luck!

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  • 1 decade ago

    I feel I am venturing answering your -not question- but feelings !

    You suffer from your sense of routine and from boredom.

    You need to revive your mind garden... create new interests and new hobbies where your hands work and your brain creates.

    make anything involving crafts. work in a flower shop. grow plants or fruits. Have a rewarding activity. Seasons will take another color in your mind. Dont let the routine dry your brain.

    Have a love, put a new life in your dull life. Shake the bottle... Good luck.

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  • 4 years ago

    Often a man or woman is least prone to do whatever "well for" himself or herself while that man or woman is bored, lonely or empty... e.g., while a man or woman has a flu, that man or woman is least prone to rise up and take an aspirin An predominant difference possibly whether or not you're "Introverted" or "Extraverted" within the Jungian (now not dictionary) experience An "Extraverted" man or woman could wish to get out of the condominium and take a stroll alongside another course for the "newness" of it, or watch a sundown or imagining himself or herself doing a larger process landscaping the plants round any individual's condominium or industrial constructing... One valuable procedure is to get at the mobile with a purchaser provider man or woman, like any individual at a financial institution or cellphone corporation or electrical application corporation...purchaser provider folks almost always like folks and love to speak to folks...a man or woman could wish to visit a puppy retailer and speak to folks on the puppy retailer An "Introverted" man or woman might not going wish to go away the condominium and, as a substitute, draw power from staying clear of folks when you consider that of the extra power drain of who stated what or preserving monitor of any individual's children' dental checkups or any individual else's veterinarian checkups for the household puppy...that man or woman could wish to hear song and dance or transfer round in keeping with the song Sometime's the excellent factor to do is "be with" the emotions of boredom, loneliness or vacancy, might be viewing the ones emotions as acquainted peers you do not think dangerous with

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    find somehting new and interesting for you to do in your life. take up a sport or hobby. get into charity work and maybe you will find that you will feel better when you think of others than just yourself. I am not calling you selfish I am just saying to do something fun and invigorating to concentrate on.

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