im in love with 2 people how do i know whos right for me ?

i got married to a guy a couple of years ago before we did i was with a guy for 4 years he was my life i loved him so much we have 2 kids togather and he recently started callin again now i have all those old feeling coming back again i dont wont to hurt noone but i want to do whats right

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    know its hard to understand sometimes when your in messy situation. No matter people say you need to make the final decision. Here are some good things to think about.

    1.) For whatever the reason you left the first guy. And it seems that he left you with two kids (you said he started calling again). Are you a go to girl? Can he (the previous guy) just use you to fill his emotional needs anytime he wants? This guy knows your married now right? Is he honoring your vows? Is he respecting you? Sometimes its an emotional high to know that someone you have been with ..even though they move one now kinda likes you..And it goes both ways...

    2.) For obvious reasons you married the new guy (you said you love him) A big part of loving someone is honoring them and your vows... Don't cheapen yourself. Hold to your word. Stick with your decision. Show your man and your kids what it means to be an honorable woman.

    3.) Do some soul searching and seek some professional counseling. Sometimes some people just need that extra support to make the right choices.... Surround yourself with family. After you find a good counselor, bring him into the loop. Does he know this other person is calling? Would he like that?

    4.) Here is the cardinal law. DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WANT DONE UNTO YOU. How would you like it if your hubby was entertaining ideas to emotionally cheat?

    I would like to give one more point in all this from my own life. Leave the past in the past. Its OK to recall the emotional times and the memories. You and him have had some wonderful times and feelings together, but you are both different people now. There is no going back ...no matter what we want. You will be surprised as to the mess that comes from revisiting things that are more beautiful being just left as memories.

    RM

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  • 1 decade ago

    Why did you break up with the first guy to begin with? You have to think about how the relationship was and how he treated you. How is your husband? You must do the right thing. I know it is very hard, especially the first guy is coming back in your life. Do you have kids with your husband? I don't favor divorce, but if you are leaning more towards the first guy then you must decide while you don't have children with your husband yet. Think this through. Very hard decision. Must be careful. Every situation is different, but there must be a good reason why you are not with the first guy. If you go back, you might have the same problems.What is healthy for the children? We must all suffer from one of two pains: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons. Pray about this one. You can't fight this battle alone!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Wait for number 3.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Why did you and the other guy split in the first place? Think about that and if it might happen again. Or have a threesome! lol sorry just teasin'. I couldn't resist.

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  • 1 decade ago

    This is gonna lead to trouble...shake the old feelings off and stay with your husband...Just be friends with your old boyfriend

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  • 1 decade ago

    well think whhich do you love more

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