Anonymous asked in HealthMental Health · 1 decade ago

Please only serious answers!!!! Is there anyone that can help me?

I need to know if anyone has any suggestions for me. I have always had a problem with being the center of attention and talking in front of alot of people, if I know them or not. I have to stand in front of many people and give a eulogy for a family member but I am terrified and I know If I don't do this I will regret it for the rest of my life. Please, if you can help any suggestions? If your aren't going to be serious please don't answer this really is important to me......thank you


I already have been diagnosed with having very severe depression with anxiety. I also take knlonipin, zanax, and two anti-depressants, lexpro and effexor xl. Not to mention A.D.H.D. I'm a mess. Although just about everyone who has already answered this question I really appreciate the seriousness that has been taken and you all have such wonderful ideas that I think I just might be okay. I have already figured what I will try with a mix of everyones suggestions, thank-you all for your sencerity. aiat is greatly appreciated.

14 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Hi hun! I know you can do it. You've always done well in the past, you said so yourself. This I'm sure seems harder. My speech teacher told me one thing that helped me when I gave a speech. He said, Talk about something you know about. So gather all the information you can about this family member and remember all the you can about them and go from there. Try to just make outline plans like I'll talk about all the things this person did in their life, then i'll talk about this persons children, then the grandchildren, then how this person was a great grandma/pa etc. Talk about how happy they made other people. etc. Make what you know about them very personal and maybe plan it for the end of the eulogy. Good luck hun, You can do it, have confidence and be positive if you can. Hugs! Von

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  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like you have what is known as, "social phobia".

    You can easy resolve this problem.

    1), if you intend to talk off the top of your head then practice in front of a mirror talking.

    2). Round up all of your friends and if you are either going to read from a paper your eulogy or talk off the top of your head without any paper, just practice looking straight forward and do your very best to avoid looking at the faces of any of the people around you.

    Try to only concentrate on the words of the eulogy and avoid even looking at any of the people standing around you.

    3). The above is know as behavior modification.

    4). If you really find that the far is so great that you are 100% positive after trying the above that it will not work and you know that you must stand before alot of people and give an eulogy I suggest the following.

    5). See your personal doctors and ask him/her to give you a Rx., for 1mg, or 0.5mg., of Aprazolam, also known as Xanax or Tafil, depending on what country you reside in. (Usually they will have samples that they can give you for free). Take 1mg, say 1 hour before you give the eulogy. And you should be fine.

    I have done this for many people who suffer phobias and needed 1mg., tablet or two tablets to get them onto an elevator or some other phobia that they have not been treated for with therapy.

    I am against drugs. In this case 1mg will not be habit forming or addictive. Even if you have to take two tablets.

    Remember this is a last resort, if you have the time try the suggestion above that don't require the use of drugs.

    I am very sorry for your loss. God bless you and watch over you. Wish you all the best.

    Clinical Psychiatrist, France

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  • 1 decade ago

    Wow! You are so strong to want to do this despite your fear of speaking in public. I know you are serious and so am I. I used to be totally terrified of public speaking. I would get all anxious and usually cry. Yikes....totally embarrassing. Anyway...I have been on antidepressants for a while and like magic. it is NO sweat to speak in public. I wonder if you (and I) have some sort of social anxiety disorder. I know Donny Osmond went through it and was totally helped by meds. I think the meds were an antidepressant with that happy little side effect. Anyway...I don't think this will get you through with the funeral being so close may want to look into talking to a doc about it so that the next time these events arise you can meet the challenge head on.

    Sorry about the family member passing. Best wishes on the eulogy! You will do fine.

    Source(s): YIKES...I know how you feel.
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  • 1 decade ago

    Determine what you are terrified of. If it could realistically cause your death, then avoid "it" at all costs.

    If it is going to raise your anxiety without killing you, then think of what is the worst thing that has ever happened to you in the midst of an anxiety attack. Have a plan for a repeat of this.

    If the worst thing that has ever happened is that you wet yourself, wear a depends (I am serious - it will allow you to get through this very important event). If, in the midst of and attack, you have run away, have someone who you trust go up with you while you deliver the eulogy. Tell that person not to let you run .

    Tell everyone in the service that you are nervous but that you must get through this and ask them for their support. They will offer it. Guaranteed. Tell them the person up there with you is there to keep you from running away. Don't say anymore about this beyond that - you don't want to overshadow the person you are to eulogize.

    If you cry, cry. Then gather yourself and continue. Take tissues.

    Above all, write your eulogy down.

    All the best to you.

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  • leas
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    I consider he was once crying false tears the complete time. He's utterly no longer severe approximately the connection and he is losing your FEELINGS on him. Don't deliver your middle away to an insecure, bloodless-hearted individual like that. He appears like he is simply toying with you. He appears like he simply desires to understand how a ways he can move into breaking you down till you ultimately say you've got had adequate. I do not believe he is the proper one for you, sweetie. There are lots of worthier guys in the market so that you can pick, however critically no longer this one you are speaking approximately. Over time, you'll be able to omit approximately him. Don't fear. You could love him nevertheless it does not imply that you just are not able to positioned that love onto any person else extra beneficial. Best of success.

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  • 1 decade ago

    a lot of people have anxiety about getting in front of large groups. Believe it or not the number 1 fear in America is fear of speaking in public...death is 2nd...Weird huh...Well I have the same problem...if you practice in front of your friends it's a little easier...Stay away from Caffeine..(sodas, coffee, chocolate, tea's) They can increase anxiety...Exercise a few hours before you give your will release tension...Make note cards....Remember everyone is there to pay a tribute to the person that has past not to you...But I would most definitely practice in front of people..It's hard but it's the only way...Remember this is just a psychological thing you can get past this if you really want to...If it freaks you out to look up and see people staring at you...keep your eyes on your cards and just read as if you were by yourself...or look at a really close family member that you feel comfortable me if you have any

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  • 1 decade ago

    First: my deepest sympathy in your loss. May God Almighty comfort you.

    This will be difficult, I know. I've been in the same position. All I can really say is to remain as calm as you can (Yeah, I know it's not new advice, but it's still true).

    It will be a little easier if it's written down (will they ask you to write it? has someone else written it already?). You will want a chance to practice it. Make sure you read it out loud several times - in private - before "trying it out" in front of everybody.

    When you read, don't rush: do it slowly. Remember to breathe (I have to remember that, too...).

    Finally, remember: since you are not there to look good there is a little less pressure. Remember that since you are there to honor them, they will "cut you some slack" whatever happens. I would hope that there will be loving people there to support you.

    Yes, it's difficult - but the fact that you CARE is the Most Important Thing.

    Take Care...

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  • 1 decade ago

    First, the old trick of imagining everyone in thier underwear.

    Second; focus on the person you're eulogizing--think aobut your times with them--and forget about the other people A shot of whickey or vodka helps, but don't get drunk, unless you want to end up liek the minister who announced there would be a peter-pull at St. Taffy's.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If the deceased person was someone close , then picture them in front of u instead of the people sitting there.Thats what i had to do when my grandma passed. And i never got nervous when talking to gram in life ,why should death be any different. I really hope this helps and im sorry for your loss but remember your loved one isnt going to judge u no matter what u do.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Hi friend,

    When you will need talk to many people together, just look a point in front of you, not to someone. Stop to think what will think about you, try to be natural and continue thinking about what is talking.

    If you need talk to family member, just forget yourself. Just have eyes to another person.

    When i started to do conference on companies, i stayed nervous, anxious, but after no more.

    Today i can talk in everywhere, all people, no problem more.


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