Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Any women on here not allowed to wear pants? My husband won't let me, i've pleaded, how do you respond?

Sometimes my husband will take me out to the mall and I will see all these pretty women wearing these cute little jeans and I have asked my husband he would get me a pair and he said no :( He tells me that pants are for men and look too immodest on women. My dad told me the same thing so I have never been able to wear them. I guess I'm being a brat by me still asking every now and then but I guess I just wish I could wear jeans just once in a while, maybe every third Friday or something. Do you think there is anything I could say to my husband that would make him change his mind? If not, any tips for being content with dresses and skirts?

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I don't know what your situation is but it does seem a little strange to many people that you would have to ask your husband for permission to wear jeans. The reason it seems strange is that it appears there may be other issues at hand here other than what to wear. I am concerned that this is only a tip of the iceberg on a variety of control issues. A relationship should be based on mutual respect and a marriage should be a partnership between these types of individuals. As an outsider it makes me think that this issue could lead to mental (maybe physical) abuse that you are not conscience of. I would greatly encourage you to seek professional help. If you aren't comfortable with that - try a spiritual/religious advisor. However, for the short-term, tell your husband that you appreciate his concern but you are an adult and you appreciate his ability to respect your wishes to wear what is comfortable to you since that will reflect on your relationship with him. If you are comfortable - you will be happy - and you will be happier together. After all tell him, "I'm sure you only want to make me happy"

    But please go and talk to someone - No person should ever have to deal with something like this from their significant other.

    If you are joking - good one, you got me to write. If you aren't then I am sorry you are going through this.

  • Amber
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Ok 1st of all I can only assume your husband and fathers reason is religious. The Bible does say that women shall not dress in mens appareal. Some take it literally others, interpret it into...guys don't wear skirts, women don't wear ties ect. My husband and his family are pentecostal.....if you know anything about that, the women wear skirts and dresses no if ands or buts about it. There is a nice saying : Hevean, don't miss it for the world" You haven't go to do it just because the other girls are. They probably just have your best interest in mind, as well as the Lords from their point of view.

    Try this, You know those pants that have huge legs, so much so they look like a skirt? Ask about those. They are perfectly modest and very pretty, and look like a long skirt. Find skirts or dresses that MAKE YOU FEEL PRETTY. That is a key. Get shoes to go with your different skirts and dresses, and shirts. Accesorize, belts, jewlery, purses ect...dollar store is cheap and has way cute stuff! A woman no matter what she is wearing can still look and feel amazing. Remeber nobody else will know you aren't "allowed" to wear jeans. Just rock what you are in, and you will look and feel great! Besides skirts are way more feminine and I think they make a woman look gorgeous. There's something about a woman that doesn't have to show off in tight close and still look amazing! : )

    Source(s): Experience
  • 1 decade ago

    Wow .If this is for real ?.I`m totally floored by this one . I hope he doesn't make you wear haybandbras. Another thing that's wrong is why do you have ask your husband if he will buy them for you ??? One good trick might be is to tell him that sometimes when its windy your dress blows up and that its really embarrassing. After all if he's worried about modesty he certainly won't want others catching a glimpse of your nether wear . In Japan a lot young girls started wearing mini skirts over the top of their jeans due to men always leering at their bottoms .Another idea might be to buy some denim and make your own (Keep them hidden though ) bit sneaky huh.but . Or you could try callottes . hope this helped

  • 1 decade ago

    You know if I wasn't sitting in front of a computer reading this, I'd swear your question was from a woman in the 1800's. What do you mean your husband won't let you wear pants? Wear whatever the hell you feel like wearing, and if has a problem with that tell him to take a running jump at a rolling donut. He sounds controlling and abusive. Marriage is a team project, and he sounds like the team leader in your relationship. You need to assert yourself. If you do buy pants and wear them, what is your husband going to do, punish you? If he does, you need to dump him, and fast. He is not your father, your boss, or a disciplinarian. You deserve a man who thinks he is the luckiest guy on the planet for having found you. You deserve to have a man treat you like a queen, not like a step child. If you buy pants and he harms you, either emotionally or physically, leave him. If the abuse is physical, call the police.You married a major JERK honey. It does not sound like he is going to change. It'stime to wear the pants yourself and kick him in his. Good Luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I have read some of your other emails and you have a very strict husband i have responded to you before .

    This must be a different culture than were use to over here in north america.

    Well just from hearing how your husband is with you on other notes you have posted I don't think you'll ever get to wear jeans outside while your with him

    However the only thing I guess you could do so you get the chance to experience what other women have.. is ask him to buy you a pair of jeans and you promise you will only wear them in the house and not in public

    Many of the muslim women do this . and it is okay in the house but not out in public.

    He should be okay with this as he will be the only one who can see you in these jeans.

  • 1 decade ago

    I am so confused as to why you let anybody treat you like this. You are a person. People have rights. Freedom of expression. He must be higher than a kite for thinking that you would be semi OK with this and you must be higher than a kite for letting someone dress you. This is such bull! I am thinking that you had surgery to get your backbone removed. Does he have control issues? I know that you are female but, you really need to get a pair! I am not talking pants. However, that wouldn't hurt, either.

    Talk to him about this, find out why he doesn't think that you should be wearing pants. Tell him why you want to wear pants. Tell him how much you love him and that he is wonderful. Then, after your talk buy pants and wear them. Take him out to dinner but demand on wearing your pants, that YOU bought. Do you have a job? Yes? Buy pants. No? Get one and buy pants.

  • 1 decade ago

    Why is he so controlling? What makes him the boss of you that you have to do what he says? You are an equal just like he is. What if you told him he had to wear a suit and tie every day of his life? How would he react to that? Not very well, I'm sure. Is he abusive? I think I would just tell him you are tired of being manipulated and controlled by him, you are in this marriage 50 50 and you have your own mind and can do whatever you want. Does he have some kind of hold on you that makes you do what he says? He seems like some kind of dictator.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hi, you may look at me in a strange way but I don't wear pants. It's much deeper than just clothes on your body. I used to wear pants but when I was 16 yrs old I changed my life. I don't want to preach to you but it says in the bible that man should not put on the appearal of a woman and vise versa. It also says that we are to be submissive to our husbands. I know that you may have not made the decision yourself to wear dresses but I believe that you will be rewarded in the long run. So here's some tips to wearing skirts/dresses... personally I love it! Enjoy shopping for pretty flower ones, long ones, knee length ones, denim ones etc. I love Max Studio Inc. and Target brands. In the meantime, ask your husband to explain and maybe you will feel better. If you believe in God, know that you are pleasing Him. Hope you find joy in dressing modest!

  • 1 decade ago

    Sounds like you grew up in some religious culture that really believes in the Bible. The whole women are submissive to men thing. Looking at your other questions, you don't seem to know much else.

    Pants are overrated. Wearing them is really no different than skirts. I think my husband wishes I wore more skirts. Proof is the quest for jeans... you try on too many just to find the one perfect pair.

  • 1 decade ago

    I can see your father having a problem with you wearing jeans while you were in his house, but you have your own house now, and you should wear what you want to wear. Your husband is your partner, not your owner, your keeper or your father.

    I'm all for respecting your husband's wishes, but he should give a lilttle and respect yours. It's not like you want to go and buy a stripper costume, is it? He sounds very, VERY old fashioned.

    Go out to Target or Wal-mart and buy yourself a modest pair of blue jeans, and wear them around the house every third Friday to satisfy yourself. He shouldn't have a problem with that, but if he does, he does.

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