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哈哈 asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

商業MAIL....幫我修改.......20點

請高手幫我修改

我想表達的如下:

很抱歉,但是我們還是得說.

我們公司有幾台專業的機器,很多年前,曾經有人來參觀工廠的設備

但是,他們抄襲了我們的概念,而另外拿這些產品去發展

這導致我們蒙受很大的損失.我們和XX公司合作了六年....對方也從未來過我們的工廠.雖然您無法參觀我們的設備,但是我們保證產品的品質能符合您的要求

請給我們一個與您合作的機會,我們會由衷的感謝您

We are so sorry but we need to report. There are several professional machines in our factory. Many years ago,some people visited our facilities.However,they copied our idea and developed them. It caused a great loss to us. We do business with XX Company for 6 years. They have never come to our factory. Although you can't visit our facilities,we assure you that the quality of products conform with your request.Please give us an opportunity to cooperate with you. We thank you kindly.

2 Answers

Rating
  • 成程
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    We are so sorry but we need to report.

    ==>Though we feel sorry about what happened, we still need to make some comment as follows:

    Many years ago some people visited our facilities

    ==>Several years ago, there were some people visited our factory.

    However,they copied our idea and developed them.

    ==>And then, out of expectation, they stole our ideas and developed them into some poducts.

    We do business with XX Company for 6 years.

    ==>We have been doing business with XX Company for 6 years.

    They have never come to our factory.

    ==>And they haven't been to our site.

    Although you can't visit our facilities,we assure you that the quality of products conform with your request.

    ==>Though you are unable to visit our facilities, the product quality will still be assured confoming with your requests.

    Please give us an opportunity to cooperate with you.

    ==>It will be highly appreciated if you can grant us the opportunity to have business with you.

    以上供參考

    Source(s): 自己經驗
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  • 1 decade ago

    我假設自己是你的外國客戶也看不懂中文,所以直接就英文看來,有一個地方我不明白。

    從 We are so .......loss to us. 都很清楚,但下一句 We do business with XX Company for 6 years.They have never come to our factory. Although you can't visit our facilities,we assure you that the quality of products conform with your request.

    這裡會有點不清楚你要表達的意思。若是 we do business with xx company for 6 years and fulfill their needs/satisfaction perfect, we obtain their trust so that they have never come to our factory......再接下去您的原稿,會比較清楚。

    要不老外可能不明白你的合作公司沒去參觀的原因和他們有什麼關係。

    記住西方人的邏輯是很直的,不像東方人是迂迴式思考方式。

    當然您可以改您自己更完美的句子來表達說明。

    另你的文法很棒。

    Source(s): 個人淺見
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