Cutie Rossi asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請英文達人幫我修改英文自傳的文法, 謝謝協助~~(急!!)

Being responsible and aggressive to anything I do, I think it will do a great help on maintaining our customer. I like listen advices and solve the questions about people. And I admire XXBank for excellent performance in financial field. So I believe working in XXBank is my best choice.

I was born on August 11, 1980, in Taipei, Taiwan. We are nuclear family including a young brother and me. Since I am the elder daughter, my parents teach me in high-expectative and stern way. Therefore, I have independent, responsible and honest character. My parents have opened a breakfast store by themselves when I am in five grade of primary school. From that moment on, I would help them on my summer vacation or holidays. Thus I learned not only how to serve and communicate with our customers, but also trained high EQ.

I graduated from the department of Financial management in XX university. During the school years, I majored in financial management, economics and statistics etc. Besides, I also took optional courses of the tourist English and the basic Japanese of other departments. For the all studying, I have the ability of basic English conversation and the confidence in learning capacity. I also joined many college clubs such as tennis, badminton, service team and financial department association. We had held many activities, and I learned the spirit of teamwork and the positive, aggressive attitude by the experiences.

My working experiences, except for helping the business of my parents, I had done part-time jobs in a cram school and the accounting assistant in a technical firm. Besides, My first job is a customer consultant in one financial management company. I believed I will be the suitable person for your company. Moreover, I will hold the earnest attitude about my job and devote myself to working hard. Also, I will express high loyalty and cooperate well with company.

I believe a whole new working environment will surely provide better chances for me to build up future career and personal characters.

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    i will bracket some vocabularies for replacing by another word, due to its incorrect or controvercy.

    Being responsible and (active for) anything I (have done), I think it (is the basic attitude of) serving (all) our customer(s). I also like (listening) advices (to) solve the (problem for all the) people. I (worship) XXBank for (its) excellent performance in financial field. So I believe that working in XXBank (will be) my best choice.

    I was born on August 11, 1980, Taipei, Taiwan. We are (a) nuclear family so there four members are included, my parents, my young brother and me. Since I am the (first child) (so) my parents (have been educating me with all high expectations in a stern way). Therefore, (they have built up my personality with characters of independence, responsibility and honor). My parents (are running) a breakfast (stall) by themselves since I (was in fifth grade). I would help them (to do the work in) my summer vacation or holidays (as long as i am available). Thus I have learned not only how to serve and communicate with our customers, but I also have (enhanced) my EQ.

    I graduated from the department of Financial management (of) XX university. During the school years, I majored in financial management, economics and statistics(, etc..) Besides, I also took optional courses of the (touring) English and the basic Japanese (in lingual) academy. For all the study, I have (established) the ability of English conversation and the confidence in learning capacity. I also joined many (academic) clubs such as tennis (society), badminton (society), (voluntarily) social service team and financial department association. We had held many activities and (events), and I have learned the spirit of teamwork. (I also) founded a positive and (active) attitude by those experiences.

    2006-10-05 13:46:57 補充:

    (As for) my working experiences, except helping my parents' business, I (had used to) have part-time jobs in cram schools and i (had been) an accounting assistant in a technical firm (for a long while). My first job (was) a customer consultant of a financial management company.

    2006-10-05 13:47:37 補充:

    (In fact) I (believe) that I will be your best choice to the company. Moreover, I shalll (continue) my earnest for my job and devote myself to hard working . I shall also (present) my high loyalty to the company and cooperate well with other collegues.

    2006-10-05 13:48:09 補充:

    I believe a whole new working environment will surely provide better chances for me to build up future career and personal characters.

    2006-10-06 09:54:09 補充:

    ....in learning capacity..., it is not capacity, it is capability.

    Source(s): i would really like to explain all the reasons of replacing those vocabularies in your article. however, the spaces are limited, so you may click my file and email me for further questions if you like.
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