Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

Can I just be friends with someone I'm attracted to?

I'm a 20 year old female college student who has only had guy friends in college. I get along with guys much better, as I make crude jokes and I like to tell things more bluntly than girls. However, I've never been friends with guys I've been physically attracted to. (Even though MANY of them seem to mistake my friendship for romantic interest...but that's another topic.)

Now I've met someone I'm physically and mentally attracted to. Is it possible for me to just be friends with him if we did something of a sexual nature at one time? I don't know him too well, but I want to be good friends with him, even though I am physically attracted to him.

I'm just freaked out because I seriously am rarely attracted to guys both physically and mentally.


Yeah but that's the thing. I don't want to get romantically involved even thoug h I am attracted to him. Sounds weird right? I want to be attracted and just be friends..possible or no?

5 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You can try, but I doubt any straight men and women can stay JUST friends forever. Naturally men and women look at eachother for more, as potentials. Most likely, he will find you attractive or you will find him. It is just too hard without being attracted, fantasizing about them, undressing them in your mind or something else.

    It's just not meant to be that way.

    And you mentioning you did something of a sexual nature once proves my point a bit more.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sex can ruin a good friendship or enhanse it. Be friends first and see where it goes. Do not push for a sexual relationship to soon as good friends are hard to find. I am male older than you and have a few good friends that happen to be female. The beter you know the person the less likely it is that including a physical experience would harm a your friendship but it will change it and maybe even destroy the relationship. Feelings can also be more one sided than you realize so use caution. Talk to him.

  • 1 decade ago

    It's perfectly possible to be friends with someone you're attracted to. However, the big problem you'll have is if some "drunken shenanigans" go on, and one of you feels bad about it. You risk losing the friendship for something that wasn't worth it. If you decide to give it a go, and date, then there's much more chance of things going/ending well (whatever the outcome).

    So, in conclusion:

    Can you be friends with someone you fancy? Yep.

    Can you fool about with them? Depends on the person, but I'd say no.

    Can you date them? By all means.

    Hope that helps,


  • 1 decade ago

    Just let nature take it's course and communicate your feelings for him. He might feel the same. It's ALL about the communication. Cause if he doesn't feel the same, then I guess you have a better idea what you are getting into.

    At least you willl always be friends.

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  • yeah, um you're starting to mature. in the future you will seek to know guys who only do it for you m&p. so, this is a maturing process.

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