What do you think of my poem, honestly?

It is not about suicide, but about accepting death which has come to a loved one who had been suffering terribly. (my grandma)

Death is kind.

Like lover's wine,

Ever does it flow.

Life is cold.

Though worn and old,

We will not let it go.

Death is bliss.

Yet life we kiss --

We cling to what we know.

Come to me --

I will not flee.

Lay my fears below.

21 Answers

  • N
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    The emotions in it are true--but they are more difficult to relate to than concrete images would be.

    Give me a picture of your grandmother's life, how you felt at her passing, where you imagine she is now. That is far more emotive.

    Keep writing poetry; it is quickly becoming a lost art.

    Source(s): A writing degree.
  • 1 decade ago

    I know exactly what you mean. My Granny died in our home after 5 months of deteriorating health. She was in a comatose state during the last week. She momentarily revived seconds before she died. She jerked her head up with her eyes wide open and a surprised look on her face, as if she was looking at some angels who had arrived to escort her to heavens gates. Then she peacefully died.

  • 1 decade ago

    first off my condolences for you loss

    second while the poem is a bit on the depressing side it dose convey to the reader a true understanding of what the author is going though. I have to say you did an excellent job.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    OMG! I'm crying. But I wished I could read something happier. I tend to be Mr. Sunshine even when someone I love dies. Not to say I don't cry, but I soon take up the purpose they wanted to fullfill and use it as my inspiration. I also know I will one day reign in heaven with them forever. Try adding something like that. Great poem though.

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  • Thinx
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    Sorry for your loss...

    I like the poem, I truly do. And I think yoour grandma would get a smile on her lips now if she knew you'd post it here for all of us to judge :)

  • ?
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    WOW this is really very nice..you did great job expressing emotions.... i want to say how sorry i am for the loss of your Grandma

  • 1 decade ago

    The poem is very beautiful, and I am sorry about your loss of your grandmother, I miss mine very much

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think it is very pretty, and elegant, but it does not reflect the spiritual truths I hold to.

    Death is a curse upon humankind, but I am spiritually alive through Christ Jesus.

    Paul said "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain...having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better"

    This is not the case for everyone. If someone is without Christ, this life is the best they have to look forward to. Death brings no reward.

    I think you are a skilled writer, but the pretty words ring hollow for me.

  • 1 decade ago

    Nice poem. True to life.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Uhhh, I like the rhyming! lol

    I just hate how all poetry is depressing....why not write a poem about something uplifting, now so down?!

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