Beautiful face or body?

I have a beautiful face (so I have been told) but since my second child I am a little weighty and feeling concerned. My husband loves me but his ex wife was very thin. I am very worried about this even though he shows me that he loves me. I just do not feel attractive. I am used to walking into a room and men turning their heads to look at me. But since I gained weight this does not happen. I know that it is stupid if I am married to expect that kind of attention, but let's be honest. As women, we like men to notice us. Especially when our husbands can see so they know that other men think that we are attractive too. I have to see his ex wife all the time because of my stepchildren. And since they live with us and not her, I stay at home with them. So when she comes to pick them up I am in mommy clothes, jogging pants and t shirts while she is in business wear. It makes me feel so inferior especially since I gave up my career to take care of his son and our son.

17 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I did the same thing! Girl, we need a club! Step moms who gave up their careers and got fat to raise another womans children. I'm losing the weight. I've lost 20 lbs so far and I'm not stopping. I want to lose 20 more! I was the girl everyone looked at when I walked into a room too... right now, I'm a pretty face. SO I decided to overhaul my appearance. I'm working out about 8-10 hours a week. I'm cooking light dinners, and now that the kids eat breakfast and lunch at school, I don't have to eat a full meal with them. I get to snack on nutritious stuff all day long. At dinner, I will serve myself a smaller portion than I serve them. AND put away the left overs. Since I've been losing weight, my man has suddenly jumped off his boredom waggon, and I'm getting a lot more attention from him.

    I hears a rumor that women don't dress to impress other men, they dress to impress other women. So psychologically, I bet you'd feel much better greeting the birthmother all gussied up, and if she asks, just say you had a meeting today, and change the subject. Your ego will feel really good after.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, just try and lose some weight then. After all, womens chief attribute is their physical beauty, whereas a mans is secondary to character and personality. I could tell you that it doesnt matter and what counts is on the inside, which may be whats important in the end (after you die), but thats not what you want to hear. Just lose the weight. If you enjoyed being beautiful, then you have to realize that when you don't look your best, not as many heads will turn.

    At least you have a pretty face and a body that can be altered, think how much worse it would be if you had an unattractive face but a perpetually hot body. At least you have the option to make yourself have both a great face and body if you have the discipline to lose the weight. Eat lots of vegetables and stuff.

  • LORD Z
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You need to find your inner happy. I know that sound siplistic and corny but your true beauty comes from within and not from the world around you.

    Zebrarain is right about you felling better if you start to work out and reclaim your self, that is the self that you are used to seeing in the mirror. It will make you a lot happier if what you see in the mirror is what you want to see in the mirror, but; don't forget happiness comes from within.

    Men are looking at you, they are just more intimidated to do so. You have that i'm with im look to you and that normally spells trouble. Most men avoid that type of trouble.

    Start with clothing. I have never met the woman who didn't feel better in a new outfit. Take time to think happy thoughts, how precious life is and how wonderful your future will be. Stop thinking about the ex wife. She is on a path you already travelled and are not travelling now. It is not a better path only a different one. People always forget they switched paths for a reason. Think back to what that reason was. And, be positive. You are always in control. It may not seem that way but you are. You can make your life beautiful and there is nothing more beautiful in life than a woman who makes everything around her beautiful too.

    Be happy, and smile, anything is possible.

  • 1 decade ago

    Work on your weight problem. Not because your husband wants you to, or to look better than his ex- wife (shes his Ex for a reason). but because you are not happy with yourself. I lost quite a bit of weight with the adkins diet. I do not blame you for wanting the small vanity of other men appreciating your looks, as I felt the same way. Its a little harmless ego boost. You also might want to try taking a good walk every day. It will help make you feel better, and help you lose weight. the exercise will also be good for your children. When the ex comes to pick up the children, fix your face a bit, and make an attempt to look nice, so you do not feel so bad. But also remember that YOU are raising HER child. You cannot expect to look like a model with a couple of kids running you ragged.

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  • 1 decade ago

    I feel you because last year during the summer, I was thin and when I went out to the club, grocery store, post office,etc. I use to wear mini-skirts or short shorts and guys would turn around/stare/whistle and sometimes blow their horns at me. Now this summer I had gain some weight and I notice when I would wear the same thing guys didn't pay attention. I gain mostly in my legs of course that was my best feature before I gain weight. Anyway, I don't think all guys go for the skinny women at least he is with you and not his ex. A couple of years ago my boyfriend left me for this fat woman and here I was skinny but obviously it didn't matter to him. I also have a cousin who has a pretty face and she is big(thick not fat) but she still gets the guys.

  • 1 decade ago

    Don't worry about how she looks.

    You are a beautiful woman who has created a new life. Just because you have put on a little extra weight should not take that away from you.

    It's not how you look on the outside but how you feel on the inside. If you project confidence toward other people, you are confident!

    You have a loving family and by the sound of it, a terrific guy who loves you the way you are, no matter what.

    Hope you have a great day!!! And Smile!!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Dear Peach:

    The most important aspect of beauty is your mind. Improving that involves all areas of life. Read more, learn about meditation, become interested in more things. That will all make it easier to take care of your health, because you will respect and like yourself more, and you will become less dependent on the opinions of others while at the same time becoming more aware of their abilities and interests. This will lead to better communication with anyone in your life, including your child.

    Your health includes your weight. If you have gained enough weight so that men no longer take interest in you, you must have gained quite a lot. That usually means confusion and loss of self respect. Read the first paragraph again, and understand that you must take whatever steps are needed to satisfy yourself that you are getting on a path to self improvement and interest in life. The weight thing then becomes simple. Eat less, eliminate white flour and white sugar; drink fruit juice, not soda; avoid all hydrogenated oils, partially hydrogenated as well: they are terrible for you. Read ingredients carefully. Some companies are eliminating this toxic junk, but it is still used in an amazing variety of food. Margarine is mostly partially hydrogenated oil, do not use it. Start using extra virgin olive oil in the place of butter or margarine. Very good for you, and you will come to prefer the taste. Do not eat fried fast food, or any fried food at restaurants unless you are sure that they are not using hydrogenated oils. This is a very common practice. Eat more fresh fruits and vegetables, and add natural brown rice to your diet. And then, again, eat less!

    Lose weight slowly by doing the above, and you will gradually reach the weight you like. Adjust the amount you eat then by watching your weight carefully. Keep a written record of amounts of food and daily weight, and don't kid yourself. You can do this, but it is up to you to decide to do it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Beauty is something with in a person not by physical appearance,

    But it's also important for us to look good both by face and body

    and i'm sure your Husband loves to coz of you not by the looks you carry

  • 1 decade ago

    If you kind and sincere at heart - you are beautiful. Your physique shall fail in dominating your etiquettes. Just be a good mom and a good wife.

  • 1 decade ago

    just eat some healthier foods, and exercise, and drink plenty of fluids. wear clothes that flatter your figure, do you hair, wear light makeup.. these things can really help... maybe lay in a tanning bed a couple of times for a glow..

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