Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 1 decade ago

Do you regret having your kids at a young age(teenager)?

I am asking this question because i have 2 cousins that are sisters and they each have four kids. Both of them started having kids at the age of 16. Now the older sister started having kids so that the govt. can take care of her and thats the truth because she had admitted it. The younger sister had kids because she wanted to someone to love her and she wanted the childrens father to be with her for sure, which she had admitted. Now the younger sister wishes she had waited to have kids she is now 31 years old. She has a great job and her degree and a beautiful condo. But she doesn't have the freedom of enjoying her success by herself. She is now separated from her husband who is a raving lunatic and she has said she wants to put her kids up for adoption. As for the older sister who is 32 her kids despise her and they would rather be in foster care then with her. So this is why i ask this question.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    My bf doesnt regret having his daughter young, he was 17 when she was born. Even though the reason for her conception was that her mother stopped taking birth control on purpose and even hid it from him too. The reason was because she wanted soemthing to trap him with her, even though he didnt plan on having children that soon. They ended up marrying when he was 18 and now are currently going through divorce at 20. He has no regrets. To this day, shes now 2, and listens to him very well, more than to her mom, and does realize that her mom and dad arent together anymore. Even though it was a set back in his life, he wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

  • 1 decade ago

    well the first cousin needs to get a reliable sitter so she can have some time for herself. it's that simple. if she has such a great job then a sitter should not be a problem. as for the second one she is taking out her failure on her kids. she should make sure she tries her best to keep them from experiencing what she experienced. as for me there are days when i wished that i had waited but as my kids get older (7&4) i gets better at least i can enjoy my life now. i wouldn't want to have them in my 30s am 26 dont want anymore glad i had them when i did. if i could turn back the hands of time i would make their dad Lol. that is the major problem if the dad is there helping the mom and everyone is living the dream life then there would be no regrets but when the dad walks out or the relationship ends then the mother thinks thats the end of the world. thats the time for her to be strong for her kids. thats all they got.

  • 1 decade ago

    kids at a young age, has some benefits. you arent as well off financially on average, or as mature. But on the big plus. you have alot more energy, and you can relate a little better because you are at a closer age. Also you are around for more of their life. If someones kids despise them, thats not because their age. it may be their maturity, or something else. People used to regularly have children in their teens for a long long time, and they turned out fine. Your friend will enjoy her success in a few more years because she wont be 45 years old, trying to raise kids. she will be 45 doing what she wants, and having energy for grandkids.

  • 1 decade ago

    I had my 1st son at 18(six months after i graduated), my 2nd at 19 (15 months after the first), 3rd at 22. None were planned. I was on b.c. for all three. Got my tubes tied after my third. I can't say that I regret having any of them that young. There have been difficult times, of course, but i would never say that I regret any of it. I think it helped that i was not your typical teen and have been with the father since i was 14.

    I hope that your cousins and thier kids can find someone to help them. They all sound like they could really use someone to talk to .

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  • 1 decade ago

    My friend had a baby at the age of 17. She wished that it would of never happened then but it did. It wasn't planned. And when she told the father who was older than her that she was pregnant he left her 2 days later and she hasn't heard from him since. He is way behind on child support and he won't show up for court hearings. Yeah if she could go back and do things differently she would but she can't b/c its already done and over with. My friend would never put her child up for adoption it wasn't the babys fault that she had gotten pregnant at such a young age. But everyone does everything differently and they do what they wanna do.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I had my kids when I was 23, so not a teenager. But they are almost 16 and 18 now and are my best friends. So No I am glad I had them when I was younger.

  • Toto
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    That's what I see all the time. You must grow up for to have kids after age of 30 is not too late. Enjoy the life get experience and get knowledge of what you really are .

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    hi, i had my son at 20 and yes i was too to young at the time but at the same time my son really helped me to grow up and mature well,at first i wasnt financial stable or anything but i managed and it was hard but i got through it because of my son,just by looking at him everyday that kept me determined to get up and better myself,as for the government taking care of me,i feel if you need it in the beginning thats ok but thats just for you to get intill ,you get on your feet not to depend on, and then make your own,its shoudnt be something to live off forever,tell your cousin just to use it to get on her feet to make her own and in the end she will be proud of what she accomplishes on her own for her kids and herself,as for the other cousin having a baby to trap a man we all make mistakes and that was one of hers because you cant trap a man with kids actually alot of them run off because of kids but it dont matter she can raise her kids on her own its gonna make her stronger,because if you want someone to love you she gotta make sure its because they love her just for her and not entrapment,as far as 1 cousin enjoying her success she has to realize she can still enjoy her success,she could get a babysitter every once in a while but she can enjoy her success with her kids they have been there through it with her why is she selfish that she doesnt feel like her kids deserve it too.the younger sister i hope she really thinks about not adopting i would think she would want her kids to look up to her and not somebody besides just from her husband running out she should think rightnow how her kids feel since daddys gone now mommys gonna run out too,,no they dont need that,they need there mother to be strong and take care of them---your older sister her kids despise of her maybe because she dosnt either give them enough attention and love or she wishes there wernt born---and kids can feel that in a home and be sad about it like a feeling of not being wanted and if thats the case of course the despise of her so what she needs to do is show them that there wanted and above all lots of love kids need this--love is stronger than any materialistic thing--so girl make sure you tell them yes kids will slow you down a liltte but they will never stop you from achieving anything,its a challenge its not easy but life isnt-----my last words are noone should never regret there kids even if they were not planned because guess what you dont want your kids to ever regret you as being there parents.

  • 1 decade ago

    had my daughter at age 17, first son at 19, second son at 21....I'm am so blessed...Now i'm 40 and been married since I was 17..Now I have one grandaughter, one son in college and one a senior.. It's been the greatest adventure anyone could ask for.

  • 1 decade ago

    I love my child to death but if I had a chance to do things differently then I would my situation is far more better than your cousins but

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