Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Entertainment & MusicJokes & Riddles · 1 decade ago

Ordering Pizza In 2010 (not for people with a short attention span)?

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?"

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh,it's 6102049998-45-54610."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at

Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email address is sheehan@ home.net Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it."

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn also."

Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday"

Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge." "Oh yes I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State

Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this.

Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

Update:

FUREVER- If you had an e-mail address in your profile, I would have told you that it is ok to copy and share anything that I post here.

12 Answers

Relevance
  • jfmm
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    With innovation, technology, legislation, population, (and controlling Republicans sticking their noses in private aspects of our lives); I can well believe this.

    I Think I'm going back to the Bayou! LOL. LOL.

  • 1 decade ago

    Oh MY GOSH!!!!! Did you think that up by yourself or did you find it somewhere? That was friggin hilarious. The sad thing is that I can just see some big whig somewhere reading this and saying "My God! That is it! We could control the world like that! It's brilliant" But of course they would NEVER say I got this great idea to control the world off of Yahoo Answers so you better patent this one now..... I better go order a pizza now before the program get off the ground and running!

  • 1 decade ago

    Awesome joke! What's scary is that were on our way to that very call. Would you mind if I copied this joke to show to some friends?

  • 1 decade ago

    Yeah it's long, but it keeps you wanting to know the next thing.

    Good execution on your long joke. 2 thumbs up.

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    I know that it is supposed to be a joke, but it is actually scary.

  • 1 decade ago

    couldn't you change it to 2050? I'll be dead by then and this is probably really what it'll be like then.

  • 1 decade ago

    I almost didn't finish reading it because i was laughing so much. Good one!

  • hh
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    This was somewhere else, I just can't think of where...a tv show or something...

  • Lola
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    there is hope then, if they accomplish all that, surely the computer tech telephone hope will be fantastic~

  • 1 decade ago

    yeah,the world is so F***** up!It will probably be like that one day!

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.