Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 1 decade ago

Would I be wrong??

one Year and a Half Ago my son was born. 3 months later i found out he wasnt mine. but by then i had alreadt bonded him and i wasn't leave her or the child. So things got shakey and we broke up but i never left my son.well even tho we wernt to gether we still messed around. well she started dating someone else. Shortly after that we got back together.now we found out that she's pregnate. i'm not ready for another child and i told her lets get abortion she agreed, but she didnt want to. so she cried everyday about wanting to keep the baby, so i said we can keep it.i explained to her that i kinda do want a baby because of the situation with my son, But i told her That if this baby isnt mine its not my responsibility. She says that i'm wrong if would treat one of the children better than the other. AM I WRONG?

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  • A.R.
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    If you chose to marry her then yes, you would be expected to treat them both the same...however...you are not married to this woman. If this child is not yours you are 100% correct. Truthfully neither child is your responsibility. She's lucky that you feel the way you do about the oldest one.

  • 1 decade ago

    first ~ i think it's commendable that you took responsibility for the first child even when it wasn't yours. did she ever reveal who the father is? does this person know he has a child?

    secondly, she should be telling the father of the current pregnancy that he's about to be a father. that person should be responsible to help raise the child. if you're going to stay with her, obviously you will part of it's life too ... but perhaps not the primary male role model.

    i'd find out how early you can do a paternity test ... and have that done before the baby is born. that way you will know .. perhaps keeping yourself from becoming emotionally attached.

    tough situation ... but no .. you're not wrong.

    best of luck to you ~

  • 1 decade ago

    for one I give you kudos for still being there for your son, even though he is not yours! and your girlfriend should be very grateful too! it takes a lot for someone to do that!

    when it comes to the 2nd child. do you have reason to believe already this is not yours? anyhow, if it's not yours, I don't think your in the wrong. but if you are with this woman, she is having this baby, whether you like it or not, your going to be a part of this child's life, unless the 2 of you break up. It won't be fair to if you treat them differently.

    hopefully it is yours and you won't have anything to worry about!

    good luck!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    First of all, I applaud you for standing by your SON (you may not have donated the sperm, but you certainly have provided him with a REAL father). I'm sure it's killing you inside to think that she is pregnant with yet another child that may or may not be yours.

    Please don't abort the baby! He is a gift from God and abortion is murder. Make an honest woman of her by making her your wife and learn to use protection when having sex! I Hope everything works out for you and your family - God bless!!

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  • Shaana
    Lv 5
    1 decade ago

    I am not sure if you are talking about the baby to come or the oldest son.

    There is no right or wrong answers here. You can not blame yourself for the feelings you have now. This is quite complicated and a delicate situation.

    If you are talking about this new baby who would not be yours... then, I totally understand your worries.

    My answer would be - you'll see when the baby arrives.

    Source(s): Good luck.
  • 1 decade ago

    I had children and step children. When their teachers were in school the teachers did not know that I was not the "real" mom of my stepchildren. The point is Do Not make a difference in the way you treat the children. Their paternity is not their fault. They all need love equally

  • 1 decade ago

    no, you are not wrong. i think she should consider herself damn lucky that you wanted to be there for the first child, even after you found out it wasn't yours. what more could you ask from someone. there is no way in hell that i would ever expect someone to take care of a second child if they weren't the father that time either.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask Maury Povich

  • 1 decade ago

    No you aren't wrong. If it's not your kid it is not your responsibility. THATS YOUR CHOICE! If you guys are planning to be together she needs to be faithful. But at the same time if you are going to stay with her whether or not the 2nd child is yours I think you need to treat them equal.

  • 1 decade ago

    Think about it this way, what she or you did bfore you met or while you were seperated is past, leave it there. If you love her, LOVE HER CHILDREN TOO! No matter what the kids are a part of her, you also if you want a happy,peaceful relationship.

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