How can I give up desire for control?

I cant trust anyone, I cant even face the moment or myself because I fear losing control. It is affecting my relationships and my whole entire life. I want to be normal and live a good life but it is hard because I dont know how to stop this.

4 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Consider therapy and remind yourself that you can not control every situation. Not your friends, not the workplace, not other people's reactions, not even the weather.

    Also know that you are not alone. Many people suffer from the same problem.

  • 1 decade ago

    The need for control actually usually comes from fear. Also the lack of trust. It really looks like you have suffered some major hurts and are trying to keep yourself protected by controlling the environment and people around you. The fear of losing control of ourselves is similar, especially when we are experiencing overwhelming emotion.

    Besides counseling, and perhaps some med for keeping the adrenalin level down,, one of the best helps here is the 12 Step program.

    The 1st Step is to admit that we don't really have control, and that our lives have become unmanageable. This Step can be to scary to take unless we can believe that someone or something does have some kind of control, and so the 2nd Step is to come to believe in a Higher Power that can restore us to sanity. The 3rd Step is to trust our HIgher Power enough to give Him the control and trust that He can and will take care of us and our lives. Then we make the personal changes we need to make in the next Steps. It works!

    Part of the solution is to focus more on the positive things we want to do, and aim for them,,, than just to stop what we don't want with nothing to replace it.

  • 1 decade ago

    Hey this is really easy to solve Sir.

    Drop down to the local hardware store and purchase

    a nice carpenter's hammer. Take it home and go out

    into the garage. Select a nice work bench and place

    your finger on top of the bench. Hit your finger very

    hard with the hammer while shouting out loud,

    "I am in control."

    "I am in control."

    Any time you feel some self doubt returning, go back

    out into the garage and hit your finger again with the hammer. Don't forget to yell, "I am in control,

    only me,

    I am in control."

    After about five or six sessions you will begin to hate

    the idea of being in control, and give it up.

    If you need help with this I would be glad to come over and do the honors with the hammer. The result will be

    the same either way. Most likely you will also (as a corollary) begin to hate me also. The trick is you will

    have a real aversion to "being in control." You will be

    perfectly content to let someone else be in control while you nurse your injured finger.

    Best regards,


  • 1 decade ago

    If it is anger. You need to go to anger management classes maybe put on meds. go to the Doctor and have yourself checked out.

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