any good jokes out there?

hello some goood short jokes please! :)

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Here you go.

    A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Crap, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

  • 1 decade ago

    Visual joke for women - you first need to look at the distance between the end of your thumb and your middle finger when your hand's comfortably extended - make it about 5 inches, which looks natural without being strained. Conceal this but have it ready.

    Then innocently ask why women are so bad at parking cars? ... and after the appropriate pause, reveal your hand and say that it's because all out lives we've been told that *that* is seven inches.

  • 1 decade ago

    a man quits his 6 figure job, leavs his wife of 4 years tired of life and the hustle and bustle of city living. he sells every thing and heads for the remote mountines where he spends 2yrs building a little cabin. sitting on the porch asmiring his accomplishments and feeling happy about his choice to live in solatude he hears a yell. "hey neighboor". not sure if his mind is playing tricks on him he says nothing and again a yell,"hey neighboor''. he looks around not sure if he heard any thing c'n how he's been alone for so long he spots a mountain man, grizzly in appearance and toten a mule behind him, ''hey neighboor", he says hey back. the man says hey there im ur neighboor. the lone fellow says wow, did'nt know i had any neighboors. yea the grizzlly man says, i live 3gullys over and i come to invite you to a party. ''a party!?" the old fellow says yah a party. theres gona be a lot of drinking and fxxking, a lot of fxxking and fighting and a lot of fighting and drinking! the lone fellow thinking this will be great as he hasnt been around ppl in so long ask's the old guy '' WHO ALL'S GONA BE THERE?" the old grizzly coon capped fellow smiles this arky snaggle toothed smile and say's "JUST ME AND YOU!"

    WHY ARE WOMENS FEET SMALLER THAN MENS? ITS AN EVOLUTIONARY THING, IT LETS THEM STAND CLOSER TO THE SINK.

  • 1 decade ago

    What is an owls favorite subject?

    Owlgebra.

    Aweful I know. lol sorry.

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