People are not for hitting. Most of us know this. However, many people, including my husband, were raised with violence. He loved me so much that he put himself through a diversion program, overcame his abuse of me, and has relearned, is always relearning, how to express love in positive ways. He hasn't hit me in 14 years. Most men do not seem able to do this, and I put it down to his love for me, his love of God, and his love of our children.
Violent people should be forced to live with the results of the violence. Period. The hardest call I ever made was having my husband arrested, as I knew he was trained to hit. He never knew any different. We married young, and did not discuss our views, particularly on love being a verb, and what love looks like. I recommend that women in violent relationships leave. Now. I recommend that men who had that violent training as a child do everything they can to reprogram. It is about learning to love in ways which do not hurt. anyone.
We all fight, and make mistakes. The key is learning how to argue in nondestructive ways, and learning specifically what behaviors show respect.
God bless you.
Happily married (now) 24 years.