Anonymous asked in Education & ReferencePrimary & Secondary Education · 1 decade ago

thoughts on bullying?

What are your thoughts on bullying in children

Should children tell the teacher/adult or learn to cope with it themselves?

my thoughts:

-These are an opinion of what I have, they may not be nice but it's the truth in my opinion.

I think that children should learn to cope with bullying. The sooner, the better. Chances are that if this kid is bullied now, when he gets older, he is probably not going to escalade into popularity and is most likely going to get bullied anyways. Telling a teacher or parent is probably the stupidest thing to do (unless it gets out of hand with violence, etc) mainly because it wont help you and will have the bullies hate you even more so that there is no room for making up in the future. If you are bullied, I think that you should learn to cope with it and make the joke yourself first. Joke around and act like it is all a joke when they make fun of you. Acting silent will only worsen it. Telling a teacher is such a dumb thing to do dontca think?

11 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Best Answer

    You would have a point, but...

    --not all kids are equal in school. Some of the jocks and older kids literally *grow up* in body some half a decade before their minds begin to catch up. This is especially a problem in a young man's gym class where your larger and often more aggressive students more or less "own" the others and the P.E. coach encourages it all in the name of "teamwork".

    --P.E. class in the United States could be so much better than this, both in terms of not letting the Non-Jock Majority go to waste (and getting them in shape) and in terms of teaching them some *skills* of a real-world self-defense sort to keep the worst bullying from becoming a damn shootout courtesy of endless and mostly unstopped torment.

    I mean, really, I had some issues growing up, and still have some today, but I am GLAD that when I was a kid, I *was* allowed to try to fight back against the bullies I had to deal with (long story short, my father was a psycho and threatened to beat me *even worse* if I didn't fight, and teachers by and large got this one). If I hadn't been allowed to at least try to resist and fight back, chances are I *would* have ended up in prison or dead courtesy of going *even crazier*, ok?

    --You are talking to someone who was a class clown for 3 years in High School as a survival mechanism. Did it work? Not even half the time. Really. So why do *you* want bullied kids to make a *joke* out of their suffering? What's in it for YOU? A laugh? Maybe a sneaky *reward* for being a jerk, or maybe you're just too *weak* and soft-hearted to *stand up for someone* when they are being picked on and driven half-crazy.....

    Really. Why do you want kids who are picked on to NOT seek help? Why DO you want them to isolate themselves? Sounds kinda shady and predatory to me bub. :p

    In short, based on my experiences being bullied *at school* and abused *at home* I have to say it. What the "dumb thing" to do here is to "suck it down" and "laugh it up" as you suggest.

    That is only appeasement. That is only sucking up to those who hurt you and giving them further license to do so.

    What the smart thing to do is....find an adult who is clearly on your side (not just any adult....there are ways to find allies, and it can be taught), and tell that person, and let that person *stand up for you to other adults* on the issue.

    And then....if your parents or P.E. coach won't give you the skills you need to deal with the over-grown Cavemen who attack you for giggles and shizz, find someone who knows how to fight, and either learn from them or at least *make alliances so you have use of their ability*.

    Really....I mean, what other choice is there? Curl up in a ball and die? Be the dog who gets beat until you snap and try shooting up the whole school? Really.

    Just my plug nickel, having dealt with a lot of violence in school and at home--really, on a basic level the bullying didn't end until my 20s when I *got out* and headed to college. :)

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that children should learn to cope with bullying to a certain extent. When a person is simply picking on someone jokingly, it is ok. But sometimes people can take bullying too far and it can turn into a serious problem. For example, do you ever read stories about suicide or attempted suicide? If you have or do, you will probably find that there are cases in which the reason for suicide has simply been "not fitting in" or "being constantly bullied". Therefore, if the student feels threatened or depressed about the bullying, they should definitely speak up and tell someone.

  • 1 decade ago

    Really trtuely and seriously telling the teacher in most cases just makes the bully sneakier, however the parents should be told. My daughter has been bullied at school and it has gotten violent. When she tried telling the teacher after the boy began hitting her he just waited until the teacher wasn't right there anymore. It finally stopped after I rerminded her that she was allowed to defend herself. She has been training to kick box from before she could walk. She was afraid if she did anything back it would get worse. After the first time she grabbed his arm and tossed him like a rag doll using his weight against him he let her alone for a while. The second time when she just allowed herself to fall when he grabbed her legs on the play ground, causing him to become unbalanced and then tumble into the wall, he has not bothered her again. I think it is our duty to teach our kids self defence along with coping skills. For most bullies until you face them they do not go away. But remember it is self defence, and make sure you teach them the knowledge that goes with the arts.Moves alone will only make your child a bully too. Thats Just my opinion.

    Source(s): Being trained my self in Japan. we had to master diciplines before we could move up, not just the stances and moves. It makes you better blanced and centered.
  • 1 decade ago

    I agree with you when being bullied i think that the child should learn how to stand up for themselves because if they go and tell the teacher 9 times out of 10 it will only make things worst the kid will have another thing to pick on you about and thats being a snitch standing up for themselves shows the one thats doing the bulling that you are not the one to be mess with its all about how you raise you children if parents did their job and teach their children not to be a bully then bulling would not be a factor in schools today

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  • 1 decade ago

    You asked so here goes.... I teach my son not to bully. I also teach him to never "start" a fight. I tell him if a child is "running his mouth" to you then don't say anything back because it's the second one who always gets caught. And if you get caught for something it better not just be running your mouth. BUT, if a boy ( boys only... never hit a girl ) hits you first then you have my permission to lay him on his a$$. You may be in trouble at school but not with me because in my opinion you were sticking up for yourself and at that point it's also considered self defense. Like I said before my son has been taught to "never start a fight but he damn well better end it" And from experience from my own life and his... teachers hardly ever do $h*t about it. writing sentences or time out doesn't work. But hey these are just my thoughts!

  • 1 decade ago

    Are we talking about a little pushing and shoving, cutting in line or are we talking about something more like an assault.

    I think a kid should learn to stand up and shove back or even hit back.

    But what to do about teasing? Teasers should have their free speech rights, yes. But I think there is a lot more possiblility for damage done to one's feelings if the teasing is ongoing or done by more than a few other kids.

    And this is where the other kids come in - to help the teased/bullied; that is, if things are as they should be.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Children need to learn to deal with teasing, but if it gets physical-or even really bad verbally- it could get out of hand. Even a small child could be pushed to suicide. And, if not that, the bully could just keep pushing until they go further than they meant to-and do more damage than they meant to.

  • 1 decade ago

    Telling the teacher is not dumb.

    BUT- having the teacher deal with it for you is not going to increase your skills any more than having mom do your homework will make you smarter.

    Use the teacher to help come up with a plan.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell somebody! Bullying leads to anxiety disorders, depression, and panic attacks. Someone else's problems and ignorance should not be aloud to bring other's down.

    And it quite often even leads to violence. No no, don't just accept it, do something about it, and tell an adult.

  • 1 decade ago

    I think that if it gets to any physical violence, you should definitely notify a teacher.

    Having the teacher solve it for you won't teach you anything.

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