girls/guys, what's your opinion???
i'm dating this guy not quite exclusive but getting there...he asked me to be his girl but ,i'm so afraid ...he shows me wonderful attention but i can't seem to get used to it...i have this thought in the back of my head that is setting me up for failure..why am i expecting the worse to happen?? how can i let my guard down??
- 1 decade agoFavorite Answer
because we have been brainwashed by thinking the negative outcome is realistic and positive outcome is a fantasy. How crazy is that. It's fifty-fifty, so isn't it better to think positive than negative so you don't get all stressed out. I know it's easier said than done. I have a feeling you're worried about getting hurt after a grand expectations. So you must write down what's the worst case scenerio. And can you handle it? Ofcourse you can as long as you don't die from it. So the worst thing that can happen from this relationship is that you going in half hearted and not working out and you'll regret it for the rest of your life by saying "what if" Always go in with a full bang so you'll have no regrets. Live your life to the fullest and half-ful.
- kandekizzezLv 41 decade ago
You can't let your guard down because something is telling you not to. Their is such a thing as "womans intuition", it is very real and you need to trust your instincts. If this was they guy for you, you wouldn't have these feelings. You should just tell him that although you really like him, you aren't ready for a commitment right now, because it is obvious that you are not. When you are ready and it is the right guy, you won't have these doubts.
- 1 decade ago
I am the same way. And this is because of my past. Finally I met this one guy who actually wanted to be serious and I was shocked about it and it took time. I was new at all the things that happened between us especially the attention. Just take it day by day. Don't try to rush it and soon you'll be able to tell where you want this thing to be.. Good Luck
- KatherineLv 61 decade ago
You should just do what feels confortable to you, but be sure you tell the guy so he knows what is going on. Tell him you're not used to all the attention or you don't like feeling you're being waited on or you think flowers are a waste of money or whatever.
It also might help if you try to do special things for him to so it feels more equal. Figure out ways to show him you think about him when you're not together.
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- 1 decade ago
Here's your problem.
This guy is taking actions and behaving in a way that makes you feel special, beautiful, etc.
But deep down, underneath it all, you don't feel like you're special on your own. And the underlying fear here is that you don't deserve the attention and affection that he's giving you. It's an issue of inadequacy that you're dealing with.
What you have to realize is that we don't decide whether or not we are, in fact, special. Others around us decide this. Our friends, our family. We become special and beautiful and good-hearted through our interactions with these people.
If you surround yourself with people who think you're an ugly cave troll then you -ARE- an ugly cave troll.
If you surround yourself with people who believe that you are a beautiful, independant and special woman... then that's what you are.
And it sounds like that's how this guy sees you.
- JCLv 71 decade ago
You are being pessimistic. Its a lack of self esteem, expecting the worst. Give him a chance. You'll never know what can happen unless you take the risk, and Im not just referring to relationships.
- Marsha MellowLv 41 decade ago
I hope he knows that what ever he's doing to "get you" he's gotta keep doing to "keep you". Prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Letting your guard down takes time for you and Patience from him. If he's all wonderful, like you say he is, then it will happen naturally.
Don't rush it...let it flow...Source(s): going thru it now
- 1 decade ago
You need to learn to take life as it comes and take one day at a time. If you continue to worry about the "what ifs" and "might happens", your life will be miserable. The only way we learn what we truly want from life, is to learn what we don't want and without some chances and mistakes, that never happens.
- Myke BoDeanLv 61 decade ago
Relax. Stop thinking so much. Just go with the flow. Have some fun. If it don't work out at least you got some free meals & movies out of it. That is if he's a man, and pays when you go out.
- omvg1Lv 51 decade ago
By doing just that. The real question is can you trust him? If you can then you will let your guard down eventually.