Is there any "non-nagging" way to encourage someone to be healthier?

When my husband and I got married, we were both overweight, TV junkies. After my second child, I got tired of seeing my reflection every day, and decided to do something about it. I am now a vegan and I exercise every day, encouraging my children to do the same. My husband still comes home everyday and sits on the couch watching TV all night. I'm really worried about him. He's still very young, but he smokes a pack a day, deep fries everything, uses salt like oxygen, and avoids exercise like a plague. I have tried asking him to walk with me and other things like that, but nothing I have tried works. Any suggestions?

10 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Are You Really What You Eat?

    The honest trust is, he is not going to change his life style until he is well and truly ready too and wont's too.

    Can you remember when it happened to you, the day you woke

    up one morning and said to yourself "that's it, 'I'm going to lose this weight' and lead a healthy life style".

    Or maybe someone said something to you that had such an effect on you it made something snap in your mind and now you are leading a healthier life style.

    Until that happens to him you've got Buckley's at changing his mind.

    What you can do for him is cook food he loves in a low fat and healthy way. As long as it still tastes good he will eat it.

    The site below has some very good ideas

    Instead of using normal Table Salt buy Natural Sea Salt from the health shop it heaps better for you and it tastes great.

    Below is a copy of an article I read

    Sea Salt

    Other Names: Sal Del Mar, Sel De Mer, Sale Marino

    Sea salt is a broad term that generally refers to unrefined salt derived directly from a living ocean or sea. It is harvested through channelling ocean water into large clay trays and allowing the sun and wind to evaporate it naturally. Manufacturers of sea salt typically do not refine sea salt as much as other kinds of salt, so it still contains traces of other minerals, including iron, magnesium, calcium, potassium, manganese, zinc and iodine. Proponents of sea salt rave about its bright, pure, clean flavor, and about the subtleties lent to it by these other trace minerals. Some of the most common sources for sea salt include the Mediterranean Sea, the North Sea, and the Atlantic Ocean (particularly in France, on the coast of Brittany). Sea salt is thought to be healthier and more flavorful that traditional table salt. Available in coarse, fine & extra fine grain size.


    If your the main person that does the shopping then that gives you control over what you bring home to eat. Use that power and stop buying cooking oil in bottles and buy the spray oils instead. It still frys but a not less fat.

    For snacks cut up fruit into bite sizes. For some reason it makes it more inviting to eat than having to face a whole peice of fruit.

    When you go out, instead of finding the closest parking spot to where you are going. Park a half a block away and walk the rest of the way. Tell him it's for you so you can get some more walking time in and of course he gets to walk as well.

    Also well done on your life style change, you should be very proud of yourself.


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  • 1 decade ago

    This is a tough one, I understand what you're saying, and also the frustration of it. Congrats on your change, yeah! Good job! Now you are teaching your children all these things, excellent!

    One of the things I can suggest is to cook healthy. You can start substituting things in the foods that are healthier and he doesn't even have to know you're doing it, just do it. For instance in the recipes you can use skim milk, fat free sour creme, wheat noodles, wheat breads, i can't believe it's not butter (in the spray container) just start cooking really healthy dinners and include salads several times a week, just make a salad and put it on his plate for him (so it isn't a choice lol) He may start to like them if it's done this way.

    If you need some good recipes the American Heart Association has a online cookbook that I use all the time, it's called Delicious Decisions and you can find it online, I make copies of these and hand them out every week at the club.

    Sub his cheeses for lower fat cheeses, have him drink the diet drinks, cut way back on the sweets, you can do it! Hope some of this helps!

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  • 1 decade ago

    All I can say is that when my sister used to nag me about my weight, it made me entrench further, and it killed my self-esteem.

    Since I spoke with her and told her I did not want that from her, she has mostly shut up, and I have lost weight.

    Losing weight and getting fit are lifestyle decisions. No one can make them except the person involved. As a spouse, you can certainly do the cooking and help him get some good food in him. Vegan may be extreme, but there are other healthy alternatives to offer him. You also have the right to ask that he smoke outside.

    you could get a dog and help him fall in love with it, so that he helps walk it. That may be a bit extreme, though, unless you really like dogs.

    You may also suggest that he see a doctor for a physical. I know men avoid this as much as they can, but it might work.

    Good luck.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Think back to when you were your heaviest,....OK got that image & that mind set?

    Alright now picture your skinny well built girlfriend from say work

    and she comes up to you and says "gee girl your looking a bit rough there, about joining me & some of the other girls tonight we're working out at the gym. Looks like you need to lose a few pounds. "

    Now of course no friend would really talk like that to us so we'd hope not, but when someone close to us reminds us of what we already know about our bodies (because after all it is us who washes our butts & sees ourselves in the mirror day in & day out) it's hurtful & we tend to resent them for it. Plus it makes us eat the entire row of oreos instead of the 4 we originally had out to eat. Your husband has seen the change in you & he's probably very proud of your discipline you have for yourself.

    BUT now it's his turn & to put it plain & simple. DO NOT NAG!!! Noone wants to be the nagging wife. Don't do it or you'll find yourelf playing the part of the nagging wife.

    Let him know only ONCE that you LOVE him dearly and would be upset if anything happened to him. HOWEVER if he chooses to continue this life style you will need a very large insurance policy on him so that incase he passes at a young age due to his unhealthy habits atleast you will be WELL taken care of after all I'm sure that's what any loving husband would want. Let him know you will be hiring male servants & a pool boy if he should pass at an early age because that'll be the only things that will be able to console you.

    Girl, enjoy your new found body & mind. Run with it. In a healthy way. But don't let old habits creep back in just because hubby is comfortable with them.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well you can do all of the cooking and get rid of the deep fryer. Get all of the junk food out of the house. If he complains, tell him, you love him and want him to live and you will not enable his bad habits. He may get mad, but stick to your guns, offer healthy snacks etc.

    If he wants to stay at home wathcing TV and doing nothing else, you take the kids, go bike riding, play basketball, go hiking, as much as possible. Ask the kids what they want to do, ask him if he wants to join. Eventually, he will get tired of being alone.

    Just don't nag. Ask him, when he says no, say see you later. Make sure you have fun with the kids and that he hears about it.

    After that it is up to him.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, this is a very very difficult situation. Your husband must realize that his health and its undertaking are HIS responsibility. Once he begins to realize that, then both of you can lean on each other to help him get healthier. Smoking and children are not a good mix, due to the health concerns but also fire.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are doing everything. Lead by example. Invite him along. When you start dressing up and looking good, he may get the hint that he don't look so good. Nagging won't help. But you looking so good that he thinks you may leave him will for a new studly do absolute wonders.

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  • 1 decade ago

    of course overweightness causes diabetes,heart attacks, and plenty more. try telling this to a doctor and sort of trick your husband into going. or try letting him know that if he keeps it up he's gonna die. it's the truth. you have to let him know. tell you children not to become like their father and they have to stay fit. stop buying junk foods when you go to the store. get those 100 calorie sun chips and stuff. there good and healthy. get healthy yummy foods. do a thing like when you eat lots of healthy foods drink one pop or something.

    it's things like this that causes many deaths and don't let your husband be a victom

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  • 1 decade ago

    maybe buy him a mountain bike or a basketball hoop for birthday, or anniversary. maybe plan a picnic/hike as a surprise then perhaps he will enjoy the outdoors enough to continue walking/hiking on a regular basis.

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  • 1 decade ago

    no you can only ask and it is their choice from that point onwards

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