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i let my lovers husband know of our affair because i felt used when she broke promise to marry me. was i wrong

after two years of happiness, and promises, she dumped me for the financial, breakiing my heart. i told him because i wanted her to prove she really loved me as she said.

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You were wrong to have the affair.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yes & no, because I do not know the entirety of your situation. If you are going to have an affair with someone who is married, I think that it is wise that you be prepared for the consequences that could follow. You should never enter a relationship with a married person without at least first considering that something like this could happen, it is not a good idea to have any kind of expectations when you are having an affair. It is a risk that you take. The fact is, you filled a gap (whether it be sexually or emotionally or both) something that was missing in her life with her husband. You must now accept the reality and the consequences. Unfortunately in the end, it is her that decides what happens next because she has a husband and has to decide what she wants (him or you), and it is her that has to face the consequences and guilt of her actions for what she has done to her husband, and to you, and to herself emotionally. These are all things that people need to consider when they take a risk and have an affair - at first it may seem alright and you may feel good because you are following your heart and what you desire at the moment, but not considering what could happen later on down the road is what can really be the most traumatizing. You probably shouldn't have said anything to her husband but that is not for anyone to judge. In the beginning you should have considered this outcome a possibility. In the future be aware of this and accepting of the consequences, it is because you were unprepared for the hurt to follow that it is now so hard to accept. We are all human, no matter if you were prepared for this ot not, you would still feel pain. However, without having expectations you at least could move on and not feel so brokenhearted. In the end, she is the one to bare the burden and the guilt for she is the one who betrayed her husband and also hurt you - and she knows that. Good luck in your future relationships! Next time go for someone who is willing to put it all out there for you, and only you. Don't you deserve that?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You were having an affair with a married woman, so it seems odd to me that you are just now worrying about right and wrong. The affair itself was wrong. As for telling her husband...I wouldn't worry about it. It was a risk she took, being a married woman having an affair. At any given time, her husband could have found out about it. It just so happens that he didn't know (I'm assuming) until you told him. But again, it was apparently a risk she was wiling to take. I hope you have better luck in love next time around.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Lot's of people in here want to judge and point fingers and tell you how morally wrong it is to do this and that..but my opinion is that it was foolish of you to tell her husband about the affair because you were only doing it in spite..you were wrong in telling her husband and you were probably looking for him to dump her on her *** so she can come running to you, but she probably doesnt want anything to do with you, when a woman loves a man she will do anything for him and sacrifice any financial well being just as long as she is with the guy she loves..She didnt love you, she just loved your doggy style....and i just want to say to all those people out there who says a cheater is always a cheater..thats not always true..

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  • 1 decade ago

    Yes, you were wrong. That is her marriage and her business. You were also wrong to date a married woman. Granted you were less wrong than she was to make false promises, but you are really kidding yourself if you think she is staying with him just for the money. She was just dating you for the fun and adventure. Sorry, man. You hurt her innocent husband far worse than you hurt her. Move on. Find a nice SINGLE girl that ONLY has her heart set on YOU.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You are a jerk for having an affair with a married woman.. you should know better than to do that.

    The things is not she loves you but do you love her? If you loves her you should let her be happy instead.

    Whether she loves you or not isn't relevant anymore cos she's a married woman!

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  • silver
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Yes you were wrong because you were part of the affair, just because you lost, and she didn't pick you did not give you the right to ruin her marriage or hurt this other man. When you sleep with a married person you can NEVER believe that they will leave their spouse for you. and why oh why would you want somebody who cheated on her spouse, if you became the spouse she would just as likely cheat on you!.....

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    You were as wrong as any women who has felt the need to call up the wife of her cheating lover. The only reason you did it was to hurt the husband as much as you are hurting, even though he didn't do anything wrong. She doesn't love you as much as her husband, get over it, and find a single gal.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You've probably ruined her future as well as yours...did you think she would come back to you? well, she won't, she will probably despise you. She has the right to change her mind and try to work things out with her hubby. Sorry. I know that sounds really bad and I know your hurt, but go on with your life and find someone who is worthy of your time. You should have known better than to cheat with a married woman, if she had married you, she would cheat on you too...you are better off.

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  • 1 decade ago

    well it is good that u told he does not deserve her she is nasty.

    dude she was married that was wrong how would u feel if u where married n found out ur wife was having an affair.

    I hope he leaves her this way u 2 can get 2gether n that will mean 2 morally corrupt people are out of circulation.

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  • 1 decade ago

    First, you're an *** for having the affair. Second, you shouldn't feel used because you were both in it together. Find yourself a single woman next time.

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