How do I get over grief?
The singer Aaliyah died on me & my twin sister's 18th b-day, & that was 5 yrs. ago. I'm STILL grieving & can't get over her loss. I just can't let her go. I feel like I lost an inspirational sister/role model. My favorite singer. I never got to meet her, even though I wish I did.
People who know me use it against me negatively & laugh @ me & tease me & tell me that if I collect her pictures or listen to her music, then it's wrong-because it's (old). Why aren't other people wrong for wearing Tupac & Biggie shirts & listening to their music & talking about them? Yes, I also own Aaliyah T-shirts & wear them, & people say when I wear it, then I'm setting myself up to be made fun of. How is that?
I look up to her positively, & people can say that's wrong, but guys & lesbians who I know only like her for sexual & disrespectful reasons, on purpose, just to make me mad. I have NO sexual feelings for Aaliyah, & I am heterosexual. How can I get over my grief & obsession with Aaliyah?
BTW, my best friend, Kristina reminds me of Aaliyah a lot.
- Anonymous1 decade agoFavorite Answer
A lot of us look up to celebrities like they are our friends or relatives, so I can imagine how you felt when Aaliyah passed away. I don't blame you, and no, I don't think you're obsessed. People can be really cruel sometimes, but usually the reason that they make fun of someone is because their own lives are so pathetic and they have nothing else better to do, so try your best to ignore them. See if you can get in touch with a grief counselor or someone else who is specialized in this kind of thing so you can talk about this. It'll take some time, but you will get through this. But no matter what, don't let Aaliyah's memory go! Keep her spirit alive by listening to her music and wearing those T-shirts, girl, be proud!! Like I said, who cares about what people think. And if you haven't been there already, please visit this website:www.Aaliyah.com, you can learn more on how to make a tribute to her. Good luck.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
It is typical to grieve over the death of someone we idolize. In music we feel emotion, and tend to think that we can identify personally with that person since they wrote or performed songs that are inspirational to us.
As for others making fun of you, they have the problem. What is inspirational for one isn't for another. If this was true, one album would have ever been made and it would play over a huge P.A. system 24 hours a day.
Your last sentence however is a bit troubling. If you feel "obsessed" with Aaliyah, or in your 1st paragraph, 'I just can't get over her loss" and "I just can't let her go", then it wouldn't hurt to explain your feelings to a grief counselor. A good counselor may be able to help you move on from loss and help you deal with the teasing going on. Good luck.
- 1 decade ago
Grief is something that never goes away! It fades in time and things get better! The sadness is just replaced by memories of the person and what she did for you! I feel if you think are obsessed with her seek professional advice (only a counselor and you can work that out) ! Sometimes there is nothing wrong with having someone to look up to ! Lord knows we all need someone to look up to just depends on far that goes! Good Luck !
- ♥HeidiJustine♥Lv 41 decade ago
Unfortunately grief never fully goes away, it should get easier with time though. I would talk to someone about your problem, it seems a little unnatural because you did not know her. Sorry you lost someone you looked up to. Hope things work out and talk to a Doc.
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- 1 decade ago
there is no set way. each person must find his or her own way. some people find peace by relating stories of the person they lost, others just try to continue as though nothing happened. the true test is finding how to grieve your way. collecting the singer's cds and posters could be your tribute to her.
- Anonymous1 decade ago
in spanish we say "dale tiempo al tiempo" meaning give time to time... only time will heal those wounds even if it take 6 or 7 yaers