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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingNewborn & Baby · 1 decade ago

Ever since my wife had our baby...?

all she does is pay attention to the baby. she basically breastfeeds the baby to sleep then goes to sleep herself. the babys only two days old and it already sucks to be a parent. what should i do so she like pays more attention to me?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    1) You already asked this question about a week ago, so the "baby" if there is one, cannot be two days old anymore.

    2) If you are going to make up questions, why make up ones like this -- and then ask it twice? you have to know that no one is going to respond favorably... why are you seeking negative attention?

    Seek Help

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  • 1 decade ago

    She is probably just trying to take care of the child no offense but you sound really childish.One thing you could try is helping her change a few diapers and hold the baby when she is not feeding and help her wash clothes and just do things for her that she can't do right now.If u want her to pay attention to you then do some things to help out and she will be very greatful.Don't be one of those selfish dad's the baby doesn't deserve that and neither does she.It won't be like this forever the baby is only two days old.good luck

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  • 1 decade ago

    It is obvious you have never carried a baby for 10 months in your body. You have never felt a life grow inside of you, never felt its every kick, stretch or hiccup.

    You wife felt all of this. She gave birth just two days ago. As far as her sleeping all the time, trust me when spend hours upon hours pushing something the size of a bowling ball out of an opening the size of a lemon, it wears you out. Let alone breast feeding. That tuckers ya out a bit too!!! Trust me. I have 4 children. And believe me, the last person I wanted to give attention to was my husband (especially after one of my babies was 10 pounds). At that point, he had done this to me and I did not like him at the moment. LOL

    First of all, give her some time dude!!!! She is trying to adjust to a new routine of baby's needs. Your life is not the only one that has been upheaved and turned around. If you want her to pay more attention to you, then join in with her. Obviously you can't feed the baby just yet, but you can change diapers, you can help with laundry, you can hold and love and cuddle the baby while your wife tries to sleep. But if you just stand by and watch resentfully, that baby can feel that emotion, then you will have your hands full. Maybe in a couple months, you and your wife will have the baby in enough of a routine that you and your wife can leave the baby with someone you trust (i.e. grandparent, trusted friend, etc.) and have a short date together alone.

    But until then, PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE. Your wife needs to know that you support her. Don't put her in the position where she feels she has to choose between nurturing her grown adult husband and her brand new baby that needs it. Otherwise, she will grow to resent you. Her body is a ball of whacked out emotions right now and this attitude you have developed in two short days could send her into a deep depression. Don't make her regret loving, nurturing, and cuddling this baby

    I am just curious if this was a planned pregnancy? What did you think it was going to be like when the baby came?

    Source(s): A TON of life experience
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  • 1 decade ago

    Has the baby gets older things will get better. The first 6 weeks are going to be the hardest! She is probably tired and needs rest and finds it best to sleep when the baby is sleeping because it only takes short naps. You could rub her back to help her! You need to help her with the baby and bond some.

    By the way you sound though it sounds like you didnt even want to be a father.

    She is still recovering from having the baby and the first 6 weeks are very stressful for both parents. Try to help with the baby it will bring you closer.

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  • 1 decade ago

    Having a baby is exhausting work! Give her some time to recover! Breast feeding also drains energy! Im sure she would appreciate your support and doing little things to help her like laundry and cooking dinner! Give her some time! Shes pretty sore still. I think what your feeling is perfectly normal especailly if your a first time father! Congratulations on the birth of your child! For the first 2 weeks after i had my daughter i was exhausted and all i could do was take care of the baby and sleep! Give your wife a couple weeks. Things will get easier as the baby gets older! just support her and help her in any way you can! Congratuations again!

    Source(s): ima mom
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  • 1 decade ago

    YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! My dh felt exactly this. Unfortunately, mum's are hardwired to be really receptive to our bubs' and we kinda forget that there is another person hanging around who actually helped get the baby there in the first place!!

    I got my dh a book called "Hit the ground crawling" it's from the people who run "Boot camp for new dads" and there is lots of tips and suggestions on how to survive a new mum. It explains that when a woman has a child, that child becomes her no 1 priority. When a man becomes a dad, his partner is still his no 1 priority, with the baby as a very close 2nd. I can guarantee that she is not ignoring you on purpose. She is literally wired to be so super focussed on the baby. It's nature's way of ensuring the baby survives its first few months of life.

    (BTW, Dh loves the book that much that he wants to order 10 to give out to his mates if/when they become dads. It's absolutely worth getting)

    Remember that it's only been 2 days since your wife gave birth. Not only is it physically exhausting, it is also an emotional rollercoaster as her hormones shift incredibly. Just be supportive. Listen to her, help out with baby care. Things will change.

    Also, when a woman breastfeeds, hormones are released which make you really sleepy. I had so much trouble for the first week or two just staying awake while feeding. This too will pass.

    Source(s): Hit the ground crawling http://www.newdads.com/hit_the_ground_crawling/
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  • 1 decade ago

    You must be very young. You can't even imagine what her body has been through. She has carried a baby in her womb for up to 40 weeks, her hormones have been on a roller coaster, her body has been stretched to it limits and now all you want is her undivided attention!?!?! She deserves to rest and bond with the baby. You will feel left out because she breastfeeds. When it is okay for her to pump the breastmilk have her do it and then you can feed the baby. Until then, spend as much time with them both as possible, be supportive, and quit whining. She is not ignoring you on purpose, she is tired. If you want to do something special for her cook her a nice dinner and clean it up afterwards, she will more than likely be more attentive to you then-SELFISH...

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  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, get into the act. If the baby wakes at night, let her stay in bed and you go get it and bring it to her. Are you doing any of the parenting? Changing diapers? Dressing the baby? Bathing the baby? Get into the act dad and quit whining. Women are really exhausted with babies. You try caring for yourself and providing nourishment for a new born. It's not easy. You want appreciation, then pamper your wife a little and help out. You can either let the baby divide you or you can become an involved parent and have this experience bring you closer. The choice is up to you.

    I delivered both my children. I've been involved with them from the moment they were born. We used cloth diapers with my kids, so I used to leave early for work, stop at the Laundromat and wash and dry the diapers. I even had a shirt that said "Daddy's Diaper Service" that my wife loving made for me. I still have it and my kids are 15 and 13 now. Don't let yourself be left out. My current relationships with my kids are great, but only because I've kept myself involved and made myself available to them. Sure, kids are a sacrifice, but to my mind, and heart, they are worth it.

    PS - Having children kicked off manic depression in my wife. That's added to our load considerably over the last 14 years. If you, your wife and your baby are all healthy, then you're steps ahead. Your relationship with your wife will spring back, it will never be quite the same now that kids are here, but it can still be fun. Just give it time.

    And by the way... We have a rule in my house. Father's don't "baby sit". We spend time with our children, but we don't "baby sit." I am a father, an equal partner in the parenting process, not a baby sitter.

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  • 1 decade ago

    What is wrong with you? The baby is only two days old!!!! You seem unbelievably selfish! Of course your wife is gonna care for ur baby. Why dont u try pushing out a human being out of ur body which you carried for 9 months and be ready for sex in two days?! Give her time for herself. She must be exhausted. You should help her with the baby instead of complaining! It would be nice if u did something sweet for her too.

    What do you mean "it already sucks to be a parent"? The child is soo tiny and yound and I dont think you are helping at all. If so, you wouldnt be asking stupid questions!

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well. If the baby is two days old, she gave birth two days ago. That was very traumatic to her body and her psyche. Please be a grown up responsible man. If you had just gone through a major surgery, would you want her pouting because you aren't putting you first? You can take care of yourself, the baby can't. You should be taking care of both of them. Give her a gentle backrub. Tell her she is amazing, and you are really proud of her. Then, give her some time to heal. If you dedicate yourself to being a strong support to her as a mother, you will be an amazing dad; you just are going to be tired and will need each others help. Congratulations, daddy...now, go be the strong supporter that a good husband should be.

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  • 1 decade ago

    get over yourself. You're going to have to suck it up and take the back burner for a while. The baby needs all her attention, and she needs to give it to the baby.

    It doesnt suck being a parent, because so far you've not done any real parenting, your basically just surviving the first couple weeks while she feeds changes and tends to the baby.

    You dont have to do anything except help out where you can and be there, she has to do everything for that baby, and find a way to fit you in too. You're going to have to wait while she figures out that balancing act.

    Its not a good sign that already you're having problems and its only been two days, you obviously werent ready or prepared for the requirements of a newborn.

    just chill out and find a way to be useful besides being jealous.

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