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How do I overcome this fear?

Theres a high school dance coming up on this friday. I really want to ask this girl (who I know fairly well) to go with me, but I always get way too nervous when it comes to stuff like that. I always wimp out at the last second. How do I overcome this fear? and please don't tell me to grow some balls, suck it up, or anything like that, it doesn't help... at all

20 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    i don't know how to get over a fear like this, if it is because you are nervous then the only thing you can do is suck it up or try to hint to one of her mates that you would like to take her it may work out from there, but unless you are willing to go that extra bit further and ask her you may end up going by yourself, so what would be worse asking her or being alone

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  • Susan
    Lv 4
    4 years ago

    Well....I don't think love is going to work with a fear of spiders. lol I would say that fear can be overcome through understanding, and reason. I used to be afraid of the dark as a kid. The usual, demons, ghosts, spirits, boogieman type stuff. It would keep me up almost every night as I had an overactive imagination. Then as I began to get older, I looked into the subject, and found that it was all in my head. There is no such thing as any of these, and the only thing that says they are true are myths, and folklore. I even got myself to believe the bible was/is a lie. There is no one "watching me", my dead ancestors do not live around me. demons don't lurk the earth, and the Devil really isn't that bad of guy. The biggest fact I found is that no one has ever proved that any of these things exist. So, I guess intelligence conquers fear. After I had tossed out my fear of the dark, I came to embrace it. Now I spend most of my day in the dark. :)

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  • 1 decade ago

    It won't help when people tells you to do those things, but I'll tell you this... Some guys get to practice using their sisters and imagine as if you're really looking at her..

    Or maybe when you might find her alone at her own time that would be the best time, either you're going to make your move now or never. And hey, this always work for the boys I know, How does it feel to watch the one you wanted to dance with; dancing with another guy?????????

    You can never overcome your fears unless you don't face them....

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If your really nervous about asking her to her face why don't you try and write her a letter before she goes to one of her classes. Try putting it in her locker or something. You can never go wrong with doing it this way. Actually you can make it really romantic this way as well. You could really be creative with the letter and make it look as if it were an invitation or something. Try putting some of your cologne on the letter or putting a small flower inside the letter. Whatever you decide to do you have to do it fast. You don't want to see her in someone else's arms that night so act fast. I wish you luck. You sound like a really sweet guy!!!!

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  • 1 decade ago

    i understand completely. there's no easy way to just get over it. One way is to find out if she likes you. you could ask her to go with you as friends and see where it takes you but i wouldn't do that. I remember I had to ask a boy out. I like him and he knew it and vise versa. I just couldnt wait any longer so i asked him. it was scary but as long as no one's around it's ot so bad especially if they say yes. if you know her number you could call her. I know another guy and his friend told me that he was going to ask me to a dance last year, but he never did cause he was too scared. Its not any fun asking ppl out but the sooner u do it the easier it will be and the better u'll get at it. But then, the more u like them the harder it is. If u like her i'm sure she's likes u too. If she doesnt dont sweat it, she just cant see how great a guy you r yet. The best thing you could do is just ask her, yeah it will be scary, but there's not really ANY way to make the fear go away except the feeling stupid after she says yes.

    Source(s): PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
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  • 1 decade ago

    Well i suffer from the same fear.

    But people tell me 2 just talk 2 her.

    i don't know how 2 dance but last saturday,i danced with a girl,merengue,in fron of 100 people i just relaxed.

    Thats what u should do relax.i dont think she will say no trust me.

    Source(s): SILENT
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  • BLANK
    Lv 4
    1 decade ago

    Just view asking her out as a personal test where it is more important that you asked her out than whether she said yes or no. Tell yourself you are the (You-know-what) if you just ask her out dare yourself to do it so that you walk up to her looking proud of herself, smiling and confident that you are overcoming your nervousness that even if she says no, you still have something to be proud of.

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  • It is called a leap of faith, for one. For the other, just be honest and speak kindly to her. I predict she will say yes if someone has not already asked her. I'd get on the ball my young friend.

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  • 1 decade ago

    as a girl, we like guys that just say what they want and dont like, as one of their guy friends to ask some girl to ask the girl you want if shell go with you. Just start a converstaion with her and part way through it casually mention "oh did you know about the dance this friday?" and when she says yes just say " well if you dont already have someone to go with, i was wondering if you would like to go with me?" and remember to smile and be sweet about it..and even if your nervous, just pretend you arent! i know its hard but one thing to remember is to not act liek a jerk about it. be nice and just ask her as if you were asking her if she knew what the math homework was. be casual kiddo and goodluck!

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, maybe you should write her a note or send an email. It could be that you communicate better through writing than speaking. A nice card and some flowers should do the trick..........good luck

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