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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

How can you tell if you are in a mentally or emotionaly abusive relationship?

how would you know if you were in this situation? the things they say to you, the way they talk to you, how would you know?


how would you be able to tell? ... okay now what if you were with someone who had an addiction to heroin. they just kicked the habbit causing them to act in ways they never have before. and you know this guy is an amazing person becauseyou knew who he was before he got hooked. and he's not like that all the time its just when he gets "sick". andyou've delt with people kicking this habbit before and in time they were back to who they were before maybe not 100% but the mean streak is gone. would you say that is still abusive or the person who is staying is now just crazy?

22 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    It's easy to know, but hard to admit. He calls you names, he seems overly possessive of funds, he yells at you, threatens you, cuts you down, won't let you see your friends or family, no matter what you do for him it's just not good enough, he expects you to stay at home and be the perfect wife of the perfect girlfriend in other words he has unrealistic expectations, he has no respect for you, he doesn't want you to go anywhere, he seems to be jealous, there are a lot of things. the list goes on.

    Basically if he is constantly doing and saying things that make you feel bad or depressed them he is emotionally abusive.

    Source(s): Past victim of abuse and now I am studying so that I can assist victims
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  • 1 decade ago

    Here's something.


    Dear Abby:

    Two weeks ago my husband let it slip that he wants a divorce. Since we were married his personality has changed. He is not the man I married.

    I would like to pass along some tips for anyone considering marriage, and share some bright red flags I chose to ignore.

    If your parents or siblings have doubts about him, pay attention. Listen and check it out.

    If your intended has nothing good to say about his ex, beware. This is a pattern. Divorce is rarely only one person's fault.

    If his children have nothing to do with him, don't believe him if he says his ex brainwashed them against him. My stepchildren have told me it was because they hated him, and they have good reasons.

    Look closely at his credit and job history. They are sure predictors of what your life will be like.

    If he's over 30 and has no money do not let him move in with you, and don't marry him untill he is financially solvent. If he has any respect for you (and himself), he'll insist on it.

    Be sure in your heart that you can live with with him AS IS. You cannot change another person.

    This is a biggie.Beware if he has no friends. It is not true that they chose to side with his ex.

    If your friends dislike him, pay attention. This is also true if he hates your friends.

    If he has more than one DUI and still drinks, run!

    If he has one personality at work or with others, and he's another person alone with you, run!

    If he has nothing to do with his parents, investigate why. Don't take his word for it.

    If he's an expert at everything and brags a lot, understand that he will turn off a lot of people maybe even you.

    If he has sexual problems, go with him to a doctor before you marry him. Believe me, his problem will become your problem.

    If he is emotionally or verbally abusive, it will only get worse. Yelling name-calling and glowering are classic signs of an abuser.

    If he is never wrong and never apologizes, everything will be "your fault" forever. And after years of hearing it, you may even start to accept the blame.

    If he does something wrong and says "That wouldn't have happened if you hadn't ( )," that is another sign of an abuser.

    And if he is mean to children, pets or animals, recognize that he is pathological, and the next victim could be you.

    I am now 100 percent disabled and in danger of losing everything. I was taken in by someone who came to regard me as a disposable item. I only hope that this letter will save someone else from the heartbreak I'm experiancing


    Source(s): Dear Abby column (Hey, it may sound corny, but millions of readers through two generations speaks for itself).
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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Abuse can be physical, emotional, or sexual. Slapping, hitting, and kicking are forms of physical abuse that can occur in both romances and friendships.

    Emotional abuse, like teasing, bullying, and humiliating others, can be difficult to recognize because it doesn't leave any visible scars. Threats, intimidation, putdowns, and betrayal are all harmful forms of emotional abuse that can really hurt — not just during the time it's happening, but long after too.

    Important warning signs that you may be involved in an abusive relationship include when someone:

    harms you physically in any way,

    including slapping, pushing, grabbing, shaking, smacking, kicking, and punching

    tries to control different aspects of your life, such as how you dress, who you hang out with, and what you say

    frequently humiliates you or making you feel unworthy (for example, if a partner puts you down but tells you that he or she loves you)

    coerces or threatens to harm you if you leave the relationship

    twists the truth to make you feel you are to blame for your partner's actions

    demands to know where you are at all times

    constantly becomes jealous or angry when you want to spend time with your friends

    I know from personal experience you know that you are being abused but feel that with enough love and hope they will change and stop huring you. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY.

    If you know a friend or yourself that is being abused first step is to get out of the relationship (THis is the hardest step) and the 2nd step is tell someone.

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  • 1 decade ago

    It's really a matter of what he does/says to you and how that makes you feel, but here are some common signs that you might watch out for in a relationship:

    Abuse usually starts as control, if he begins to try to control you that should be a red flag to move on.

    Hopefully you are just wondering about this for future reference, but if not and you suspect that you might be the victim of abuse, please call the hotline at the linked page above and there will be someone willing to listen and help.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Yep, if he's always down playing your achievements or trying to make you feeling less of person.....then at is mental abuse. Usually because the dude has self esteem issues and he doesn't like for his "woooman" to out shine him.

    If you are asking this question then most likely you are in a mentially abusive relationship. Get out know!!!! Because it WILL turn into physical.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    well if they are always saying things to hurt you or putt you down thats a good sign. Plus if you are asking this quistion you preaty much already know you are in one. Dont wait for someone to tell you that you need to get out of this relationship. If you do you will be hard on your self and always on guard in your new relationships.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You will know if the more you are around this person the less you feel about yourself. Your confidence is gone because of all the things he has said to you. You once enjoyed things that he put down and you no longer do them because he said it was stupid or dumb.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You know what - when you're being mentally or emotionally abused, you can't even think for yourself. You start making excuses for him and questioning your own judgement, etc. etc. If a lot of people make comments to you about it, or give you funny looks when you discuss things that happen in your relationship, or you find yourself constantly defending him, you're being abused.

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  • 4 years ago

    indications can start up little: actual, grabbing you and pulling you back. Squeezing your wrists. From there it purely gets worse. comparable is going emotionally, he could make very recommend comments. while he does some thing, he will turn it on you. and you will possibly not even understand. seek for the little indications, and if their there, get out in the previous it gets worse.

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  • 1 decade ago

    You'll know by how that person makes you feel about yourself. Does that person call you names or make you feel like less of a person? Do they value your opinion, or treat you like you're a stupid little kid that knows nothing? Are they controlling or do you feel like you are a different person when you are around them?

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