Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 1 decade ago

we have no frickin' sex life, and he wants to look at rings & get engaged- what should i do?

ive talked to him about the sex issue (we have it, like 2 times a month) and he says he understands, but, doesnt do anything about it & says hes too tired when i go try to get sexy w/ him. what should i do? should i dare accept the engagement?

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tell him that sex is a very important thing to you and make him understand that.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sex should be an after thought here. Do you love the guy? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Do you have similar values, morals, expectations for the future?

    Sex will come and go in a relationship. Sometimes it's great, other times it's like it doesn't exist. Twice a month isn't as infrequent as you think. Leave the guy alone all week long, and wait for his days off to seduce him. Let him sleep a little longer than normal, then have a day of foreplay. This doesn't mean sex, but set a romantic tone early so that as the day goes on, he is being stimulated mentally. It can prepare him for the night ahead. Wear one of favorite outfits, make him his favorite foods, be considerate and romantic. Add some kisses, sweet and gentle, not wet and passionate. Rub his arms, shoulders, neck, back, whatever he likes to convey that you are feeling frisky. Don't ignore him all day then expect him to turn it on at night, it's a mistake common in men.

    If you love him, want to spend your life with him, and want the same things for the future, then accept. The sex will come (no pun intended) on it's own. Some weeks you'll feel like you are never out of bed. Some weeks you wonder if it's fallen off him. But it evens out in the long run. Besides, you will have plenty of opportunities to make up for lost time. You will also have times where he is the one wanting sex, and you don't.

  • 1 decade ago

    While sex is not the only thing to consider in a marriage, it is very important. If you are seriously in love with this guy try a couples intimacy therapy...its not a sex therapy. Its about knowing, understanding and the fulfillment of the needs of the person you are with. You do not want to get married, then find out that you can't live the rest of your life like that. If you are dissatisfied now, when do you think it will get better.....If he agrees then maybe a frequency you both can be happy with. His sex drive may never be exactly like yours, but you could be happier..If he refuses to face the issue, I would not accept the ring or speak of marriage.

  • 1 decade ago

    I wouldn't like to have sex just 2 times a month. I would ask him if he was attracted to me. Maybe you intimidate him. have you had a fight or something that he's still not over? He's the only one with the answer and if he won't tell you, well there is really nothing that you can do. you have to feel that your important in the relationship and if you aren't, and he's not going to do anything about it. I think the answer if obvious

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  • 1 decade ago

    Will you be happy with him like he is? Will you be happy moving on to someone else who satisfies you? That's what you need to decide. For me I'm sorry his A s s would be out the door. He tryin to marry you but is withholding the cock!! Uh bye bye clown. ain't that much tiredness in the world, besides sex is the perfect sleeping aid. Just think if you don't leave now you may get married and be miserable then join the ranks of other people who commit adultery.

  • 1 decade ago

    Remember this: YOU WILL HAVE SEX LESS OFTEN AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED A WHILE THAN YOU DO NOW! It sounds as if you and your sloth are quite incompatible sexually, and marriage won't magically solve such problems. You probably should find a man who suits you much better. There are many out there who can do it.

  • 1 decade ago

    First you shouldn't be having sex before marriage - is there a morality issue for him? Second, ask him, "WHAT's UP!? I am a woman who loves you emotionally, spiritually, and want to love you physically. If you want me to get married to you, I had better get some assurances that you are going to be there for me - and I do mean there often." Then wait...don't say another thing and listen until he finishes with, "Baby, I don't have anything more to say..."

  • 1 decade ago

    If you can live with having sex 2 times a month for the rest of your life, then marry the guy. If you can't live with that then don't marry him. You cannot change him.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well if he is tired now what will happen then when you do get married.Have him make a doctors visit and see what the problem is,could be low blood and iron or a hormone thing, low on man hormones.

  • 1 decade ago

    Wow, girl! He loves you and he doesn't want sex? He's a real keeper...(but try to get him in the sack before the big day, just in case he is hiding something)

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