Lissa asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 decade ago

How do I do this politely??

I am having a baby shower at a pottery shop. They have this mirror that has 15 tiles on it. Everyone paints a tile, and then you have a beautiful mirror everyone contributed to. I have three friends who are pregnant. I had one shower already. I put on the invitation If you would like to paint a tile, let Melissa know. We asked that everyone pay $10 to paint a tile. Well, one person didn't let me know and brought her 3 children with her. They all painted a tile, then left. People even purposely said, "HERE'S MY MONEY FOR THE TILE." right in front of her. Well, needless to say, we had to come up with $40 extra dollars. (worst part was, we had people who were going to pay, but she took the tiles before they could, and we ran out of tiles. How do I state this on the other two showers I have to throw so that the same situation doesn't happen. I don't want to put $10 a tile on it, that's tacky. But I didn't think people would assume I was paying for the whole thing either. HELP>>>

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Sorry to say this but it is rude for you to ask for money in the invitation...if you want to ask for money for the tiles you need to do it in person and explain the situation...and you should get the money up front...it's really rude to do it at the party in front of the honoree.

    the people who pay for the party usually pay things like this...if it's too expensive you shouldn't do it...

    It does sound like a neat idea but it's still rude...sorry

  • 1 decade ago

    Giving people a heads-up isn't tacky. What's tacky is not making it clear before they begin that they are expected to pay $10 per tile. Just say on the invitation that the tiles are $10 each. That way people can make sure they have an extra $10 in their wallet.

  • 1 decade ago

    you might try pre-selling the tiles and placing post its with names on the tiles so that each person can then go and paint the one with their name on it. If a person has not pre-paid and their name is not up there they cannot paint one. If you do not stick the names on the tiles you can draw each name and let that person go up and paint whichever tile they want until all the names are drawn.

    On the invitations you can say that theya re all invited to paint a tile but they must be prepaid and there will be no exceptions. This way nothing is said in front of the person the shower is for.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    oh that's difficult, you basically have a bum friend who knows no manners. Plain and simple do not invite this person to the other showers. If they are all ready invited, place on the invitation that children will not be allowed since some of the not pregnant presenters will be having alcohol, whether they are or not...perhaps the situation changed once they arrived and hence changed their mind. Devious and sneaky, but it might be enough for that parent to find a sitter for her children.

    or you could state that a 10 dollar donation to cover supplies will be asked of each attendee to cover the cost of the favors and entertainment, it's not rude. You can word that however you wish. Even charitable events ask for money in a delicate way.

    or even arrange the tile painting ahead of time, and make the activity attaching them to the mirror? Not sure if that is an option....but it might be fun to show off your "really I CAN fix it" skills

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  • 1 decade ago

    Tell it like it is. A few days before the shower, call her & ask her if she is coming to the shower by herself or with her children. Remain her that if she wants to paint a tile, it will cost her a $10.00 fee for herself & $10.00 for each of her childred. If she does the same thing again, don't invite her to any places that she would have to contribute to the cost.

  • 1 decade ago

    On the invite, put "RSVP by ______. Please note that tiles are limited so I ask that you please try to refrain from bringing your own guests. We also ask that you bring a $10 contribution for the lovely gift."

    Sorry if you didn't want to write the money thing on the card, but it's better than ending up having to pay $150 for the gift on your own. And don't announce it when they get there, becuase they may not have any cash along! trust me your guests wont think you're tacky or rude, especially if you write it nicely like that, and they cant expect you to pay for all of it! youll end up having a much better, less stressful party if you just say it on the invite. good luck !!!

  • 1 decade ago

    Include a note in the shower invitation explaining the purpose of the tile and price in advance. A simple, this is nice gesture for the mother to treasure so if you plan to participate the prices is $10 should be sufficient. If you have already sent the invites, send nice reminder flyer with the explanation.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tacky or not I would put specifically $10.00 a tile! In today's world people don't understand anything else but that type of meaning, I hate to say it but this is the way it is. No Ifs And's or But's about it! Besides, I would rather sound tacky as opposed to getting burned on the deal any day!

  • 1 decade ago

    well you have to send an invitation before the people get to the pottery shop and in the invitation you have to write very clearly please this is for this purpose and we will do this (paint a tile) with all the details and you have to specified that is per person that is it.

  • 1 decade ago

    My idea.. Have an employee of the pottery shop, collect money while passing out tiles. This way it's them, not you. And it would seem to be a perfectly common retail practice.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    If you are hosting these showers, then you should pay for all the materials. However, if you aren't going to do that and you want people to pay for these things, if you don't do it up front and as clear as it can be, people will assume that you don't mean them. My father had to pay extra for people at my wedding who just never showed. We don't know that many people, so it was a relative. It may sound tacky but if you don't say it plainly, someone will take advantage.

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