Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 decade ago

what would you all do in a situation where your boyfriends daughter had a birthday party arranged by ex wife?

at a pool and he wanted me to go and all hang out as one big happy family? i suggested doing something with her by our selves, what ever she wanted and she could have 2 birthdays so we wouldn't have to all go hang out together and he wouldn't have anything to do with my suggestion. All he said was i didn't have to go...but he was still going...and the pool party was actually one day before her birthday, and i wanted to plan something fun for her on her birthday separate from his ex, who cheated on him with his friends and causes sceans every where she goes. She also tried to have him thrown in jail for pushing her, but a witness saw what happenen, (his cop friend) and she hit him, she got thrown in jail and a restraining order against her...she is very emotionally inmature...i obviously cant stand her, and i know it is all suppose to be about the children but do we all have to hang out together, when she has no respect for anyone!

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    I'm sure you know that you can't control other people and if his daughter gave him a party, he would want to attend. I don't know why his ex wife has to be present at the party. She could arrange it and still not attend, as a gift to her daughter.

    However, you don't need to put yourself through this. Let him go to his party, and you make arrangements for another birthday with him with only the two of you present.

    One day he will get past the habit of wanting to be anywhere near the ex, and if you're around long enough you'll reach a point where you don't care if she's around or not. You won't feel any jealousy because you'll be more secure with him by then.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    I think you have every right to choose who to hang out with and I wouldn't go along to a party by my boyfriend's ex. We had similar situation but I stood my ground and was outwardly happy for him to attend the party arranged by his ex but also organised a second birthday party. I invited his ex! Funnily enough, she didn't want to come. It showed me in good light, the kids had great time, there were no rows with my boyfriend and the ex looked a fool for turning down our invite. Result

  • 1 decade ago

    HI!

    I agree with you. I would not attend. You two can make a party for his daughter and I do not htink it is correct that he attent the party of the ex-wife. There should be 2 parties. Stand Strong.

    You are with him and if he goes then he can get a new girlfriend!

  • 1 decade ago

    well, my instinct says not to even touch this one, but here goes, its gona be brief,

    if you feel that strongly about it then you need to stick to your guns, it sounds like youve tried to work things out a lot but your still caught in the middle, last it sounds like she is definatly a phycho btch so you should try to distance yourself from that

    on the part of your man, it sounds like a typical unthought out situation where the man goes "well i dont know what to really do so im just gonna do this and it will turn out somehow"

    im a guy and i can relate to that thought process and i think that we all do that sometimes when the sht gets too deep

    good luck and dont give up

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  • 1 decade ago

    Well, you need to show him that you can be the bigger person out of the two and that you can go and have fun despite her being there. For the sake of the child, just go and have fun, and don't let her get to you. Smile and know that you have her man, and that you will never wrong him like she did..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Why write a novel. It takes too much time. I'm here to get 2 points.

    NOW

    "As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all people" It is good to have a large family.

  • 1 decade ago

    If you are committed to him then you need to go to the party. You have to sometimes bite your tongue when you're in the situation that you're in, for the child. Always ask yourself "are you doing this for you or the child," the answer should be what's best for the child, not you. Good luck.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Ask her if there is anything you can bring and try to be helpful to make it a special day. You really should stop being such a But Head.

  • 1 decade ago

    You really should go and be happy for his daughter and supportive of your boyfriend. She's not the important one in this situation--your boyfriend and his daughter are, tho.

  • well just go to give your support and you still can plan something for her for her birthday and just stay away from the wife

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