Rebecca asked in 社會與文化語言 · 1 decade ago

請 幫 我 修 改 此 篇 英 文 作 文

作 文 的 情 境 是 一 名 小 孩 在 馬 路 上 撿 到 一 個 裡 面 裝 滿 錢 的 袋 子 , 於 是 小 孩 把 錢 送 到 警 察 局 , 最 後 失 主 ( 一 個 老 人 ) 到 警 察 局 把 它 認 領 走 了 。

Tom is a student. One day, he found a bag at the road after school. At the same time, he round across the road. He picks the bag up and opens it. He is scared. Because the bag is fulled with mony.

Tom is a thoughtful boy. He wanted to turn in the bag for the policemen. When he achieved the police station, he saw an old man. The old man looks anxious. Tom just headed forward the policemem and turned in the bag for him. The old man thanks Tom. Finally, Tom finished his mission.

請 幫 忙 修 改 _ 謝 謝

2 Answers

Rating
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Tom is a ordinary student. One day he found a bag in the middle of the road when he was on the way home. He ran across the road and picked up the bag quickly. Then he opened it, and he was so surprised because the bag was fulled of money.

    Tom left for the police station right now and wanted to turn in the bag to the owner. When he arrived, he gave the bag to the policeman and saw an old man who looks very anxious. The policeman opened the bag and ascertained it belonged to the old man.

    Finally the old man thanked Tom very much and everyone praised him for his kindness. Tom was very happy to finish his mission.

    ordinary adj. 平凡的

    in the middle of 在…之中

    on the way home 在回家的路上

    be fulled of=be filled with 充滿

    leave for 前往

    owner n. 擁有者

    who looks very anxious 「who...」為關係子句的用法

    ascertain v. 查明、確定、弄清

    belong to 屬於

    praise v. 讚賞、讚揚

    kindness n. 善心

    另外,若你要選擇以”過去式”來表達此文的話,那麼整篇文章都必須要以”過去式”來呈現喔!要不然讀者會不清楚故事中所發生的事情到底是已經過去了,還是現在還在發生。所以這一點要特別額外地注意喔!

    而第一句因為只是描述故事中的男孩身份,所以不須改為過去式。但如果你想表達的是他已經不再是學生的話,那就必須使用過去式喔!

    2006-09-02 13:08:08 補充:

    Finally, the old man thanked Tom very much and everyone praised him for his kindness.不好意思,finally後面要逗點比較好。

    2006-09-02 13:19:36 補充:

    ...saw an old man who looks very anxious.不好意思,這句應寫為:...saw the old man who looks very anxious.因為後面的who looks very anxious是描述那個old man,有限定的作用,所以冠詞一定要用the。

    2006-09-04 19:04:10 補充:

    不好意思~關於第一句:Tom is a ordinary student.

    句子中的a應改為an。

    Source(s): 自己
  • 1 decade ago

    Tom is a student. One day, he saw a bag at the road after school. At the same time, he round across the road. He picks the bag up and opens it. He is scared. Because the bag is fulled with mony.

    Tom is a thoughtful boy. He wanted to turn in the bag for the policemen. When he achieved the police station, he saw an old man. The old man looks anxious. Tom just headed forward the policemem and turned in the bag for him. The old man is very thanks Tom. Finally, Tom finished his mission.

    Source(s):
Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.