How can i spice our sex life up, my wife never wants to have sex anymore?

26 Answers

Relevance
  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Try and spend some more time with her and show her a good time without sex first.After that maybe plan some romantic night and try.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Well, first ask her why, if you haven't already. Why doesn't she want to have sex anymore? It can be horromones, and I spelt that wrong on purpose! It can be a lot of things. If she takes any sorts of medications, or has started any new medications that can kill a woman's libido. The worst case scenario, and I dont even want to say it, but I want to be honest. Shes interested in someone else, or something else. Maybe shes preoccupied with a project at work or school, or shes attracted to someone else and feels raw about sex with you. (This is VERY VERY much not a judgement on you or your wife, it may not even be a possibility with her! Its just an avenue that can be a reason.) If shes bored with the sex, and thats it, do something interesting with her. Take her to a porn shop and have her pick out an outfit she can wear to feel sexier. Get a pron movie, and suggest you watch it together, or watch each other...as you watch the movie as well. (Be careful, sometimes when us women feel insecure we then worry you want the girl in the movie more than us...it depends on how she is feeling) Suggest other things. Eat strawberries off of each other, cover the bed in rose petals. You can pretty much go one of 2 ways. Hott, dark, pornographic type stuff, or the very romantic, candles, flowers type things. Change it up, have fun and always ask first if something you want to do together is ok with her too! Good luck.

    Source(s): too much tv...and experience
  • 1 decade ago

    Try giving her a nice massage first.

    Light some candles around the room and turn the ceiling light off. Use nice massage oil- preferably the flavored stuff from the adult toy stores. Warm it in your hands before putting it on her back- lopping cold slimy stuff on a woman's back is usually not a turn on. Do this early enough in the evening that she won't fall asleep on you.

    Straddle her around her legs/butt area while you rub her back- this positioning is subtly erogenous. Lean forward and massage her back with strong, powerful motions. After awhile, work it up into her neck area, then start working your fingers gently up her nape and scalp, through her hair. Lean forward and kiss her shoulder and neck lightly, especially the tender sides of the neck. Little love-nips on her neck are also great!

    If she responds, then great! If she's not interested, don't press her- this will just make her more nervous of more sex. Her feeling like sex is expected or demanded of her will not help. Continue with more of a back rub before stopping, towel off the lotion, and try another night. I think this would work on most, though.

    Also, if you don't usually do it, giving cunnilingus can help. If you are worried about taste/smell have her take a bath first; it shouldn't be a problem. Make sure to spend some attention on inner thighs first.

    Give her gentle affections (kisses, touches, rubs) throughout to day so she feels like you want to be close with her because you like her, not just because you want to have sex. You can also try spending most of an evening making out instead of trying to rush it to the bedroom- this can help her want it more. Try it while watching a DVD on the couch- the spontaneity and the new location will make it more natural and desirable.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    As a wife, who at times feels this way, I can tell you the problem for me. Touch your wife often, not just before sex, as this will make her feel as though she is only good enough to be touched when you want to "do it". Also, be kind to her, so long as she is kind to you. Send her flowers, leave little love notes, kiss her before leaving for work, say I love you, tell her she looks nice, look at her while she is getting dressed and show her with your eyes how good you think she looks, hold her at night, hold her hand, watch a scary movie and let her cover her eyes in your shoulder.......Trust me, from a womans perspective, the little things do count. Women need to be stimulated Mentally AND Physically, but first mentally......as I am sure you know, they take longer to warm up and something you said that upset her in the morning may bother her clear until nighfall......Not to say that you can't fight, just make-up nice.....and no, you don't always have to say you're sorry, unless you are wrong. Good Luck! AND BELIEVE, IF YOU DO THIS, IT WILL BE LIKE YOUR WIFE IS ON THE FEMALE VERSION OF VIAGRA

  • How do you think about the answers? You can sign in to vote the answer.
  • 1 decade ago

    I don't know your situation, or what is going through her mind, but many woman are not interested in sex as the goal, but rather sex as the result. It is not about the act, it is about you being interested in her, making her feel wanted, appreciated, respected, and beautiful. If she gets what she needs from you, you just may get what you want from her. Since you are asking this question, I am assuming you feel like you are giving her what you think she needs. The hard part is woman don't always know exactly what they need, or maybe just don't know how to put it into words, and if the words are there, you probably will not ever hear them because she wants you to figure it out for yourself. But, if this is the situation in your case, you will know it when she gets what she needs.

  • 1 decade ago

    What is her reasoning for not wanting to have sex? I went through this recently with my guy. He just stopped trying to romance me. He thought he was doing all the right things, but he didn't realized he had stopped doing what he used to do. Simple things like getting flowers or roses on the way home from work, just every once in awhile, for no reason at all. He started giving me massages when I least expected it and it would get me ready for sex when that was the furthest thing in my mind. Let her know just how beautiful she is to you. Not by speaking it, by showing it with actions and not words. Sometimes you should just take the time to "make-out" like you used to when you were first together. Make her remember how it used to be in the beginning. That's what my man does and it makes me run to him every time!

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Remember what the original attraction was. Spicing it up doesn't mean adding a third party. Maybe just changing the view a bit. Go somewhere you haven't been in awhile. Remember those times you were careless and free and go with it.

  • 1 decade ago

    There is a reason for this, and you need to find out what the reason is, and then deal with it from there. Try suprising her. Do something romantic. And once in awhile, just cuddle and kiss. Contact does not always have to lead to sex

  • 1 decade ago

    Yea maybe she doesnt want sex because she is tired of waiting on you hand and foot all day.Taking care of kids,doing clothes,washing dishes ,cooking supper,and you never tellilng her thanks or even helping her out with the chores,so im sure when she goes to bed all she wants to do is crash!!Maybe you shouldnt suck so in bed then she might want ya or better yet she probably is having sex with the neighbor and he is giving it ti her better than you ever had!!.......But then again i dont know what ya can do.

  • 1 decade ago

    Remember that sex is in the brain for women. If you don't have a good day then you won't have a good night. Remember the effort you used to be willing to put in to 'getting some'...for her that hasn't changed.

Still have questions? Get your answers by asking now.