inlaws- my wife needs someone to help her with her relationship with my aunt?

There is a soursap tree in our compound planted by wife. It has grown really big. Yesterday, my wife cut it down. This tree is being used by my aunt's chicken for sleeping at night, and also her clothes line is fastened to it. The stench from the birds sleeping on this tree is so overpowering. and also the leaves that it gives is just too much. my aunt (father's sister) house is just beside my house, she got so mad when she came in the evening and started hurling abuses and swearing at my wife. I am a church pastor, and I asked my wife not to say anything, not even to retaliate. My aunt started refering to wife as not being suitable to be called a pastor's wife for cutting the tree. She mentioned a lot of degarotory words to my wife, but she remained silent. After the incident, I called my wife and we prayed for my aunt. This morng I went to my aunt's house and asked for their apology for what my wife did. My aunt was not there, only my grandmother was and she accepted my apology. help

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  • gumby
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    You are waaaay too close to your family. You speak of a compound. Are you in some sort of cult? You are telling your wife when she can and cannot speak, you apologized for your wife. Where does your loyalty lie? To your wife or your aunt? Stand up for your wife and get the heck away from you overbearing extended family. And it sounds like your auntie needs to be medicated.

  • 1 decade ago

    I don't disagree with what you wife did, by any means. I do, however, disagree with how she did it. If the aunt was using the tree in her yard as well, it would have been proper to go and inform the aunt that the tree was just to much and that the smell from the chickens was a little powerful. But since that can no longer be done, why not have your wife write her a letter of apology. Have her explain that she meant no ill will towards your aunt and explain her reasoning for cutting down the tree. Have her acknowledge your aunt's frustration and apologize for the inconvenience it has caused.

    That's about the best I can do. I'm hoping the praying works.

  • 1 decade ago

    Once your Aunt cools down she'll be okay.

    I'm a patient person, but in the pecking order of my life, my wife is way ahead of any aunts I may have. My first consideration would be her feelings.

    It's easy enough to go to a hardware store - pick up a metal pole, throw some cement down, and <shazam> you have a new clothes line !!! (and birds won't want to sleep under it).

    Good luck.

  • 1 decade ago

    If your wife planted the tree, she had a right to cut it down. When, your aunt started to call your wife names you should have come to her rescue I don't believe that your wife needed to apologize

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  • 1 decade ago

    In my opinion, the one that is unreasonable is your aunt. It must take a lot to tolerate someone so irritating.

    I believe your wife must be feeling very hurt that you have to apologise for something that is really not wrong.

    I sincerely hope that your aunt will realise how inappropriate her behaviour is and apologise to the two of you instead.

    Good Luck!

  • 4 years ago

    I dont understand the way ur spouse would forgive u and how u could appreciate her for doing it, do her a favour and leave her u dont deserve her. Being less than the impact of alcohol isn't excuse, a husband and ur mom could be between the few human beings u can believe in this international and both one in each of u screwed her over. U r a pathetic Husband and she is a pathetic mom.

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