girls only, please. only serious inquirers.?

i will be 19 in a month and have not been to the gynochologist yet. i have been sexually active for the past 2 years, so i am more than overdue for my first visit. i want to go to make sure everything is okay, and also to be put on birth control for my irregular period and insatiable cramps. me and my mother don't really talk about this kind of stuff and i have no idea how to bring it up to her. she also thinks that i'm still a virgin and i don't want her to think i only want to go so i can have sex. i guess what i'm asking is how do i make the initial step to asking my mom to set up an appointment for me?


i am aware that i can set up the appointment myself, but i need my mom for insurance purposes.

31 Answers

  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    Just tell her that you have horrible periods and that they are not normal and you have heard that going on the pill will help. She does not need to know that you are sexually active, and she does not have to be in the room with you when you have your exam, and the doctor cannot tell her anything about your care, even if she insists. For all the uneducated people on here...if she is on her parent's insurance her mom will find out anyway.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    No offense to you or your mom but neither one of you seem to be very comfortable talking to each other about serious things. She probably handed you a book instead of giving you The Talk. That's fine! Many moms are like that. Even if you need insurance polices, you're over 18. If you don't have college you should have a job. It's either time you told your mom or gotten your own insurance. Good ideas for starting a conversation are, "Hey Mom." When she's not busy. "Uh, listen. Very recently--" make her feel like she's informed the second after it happened--"I've been having some cramps. And a little less recently I've been sexually active so I was wondering if I could make a visit to my gynochologist." She might not take it well at first but she was that age once too.

  • 1 decade ago

    Talk with your mom and explain to her that you're worried because you seem to have really bad cramps, and you'd like to see a gynecologist about that. Try also telling her that you've done research and would like to discuss with a doctor possibly using birth control just to help control your periods and cramping, and that this is common for a lot of women, and there can be health benefits, too. If all else fails, I know the insurance would be nice but fork out the cash yourself and go to the doctor alone. This might be the step you need to take if you are not comfortable talking with your mother. Certainly, she should stay in the waiting area. I promise that it isn't that scary or horrible to need a friend closeby; if you are uncomfortable you could ask a nurse to stay with you - they are likely to understand. Also, you can pick whether you go to a woman gyno or a guy. That's just personal preference, I've seen good/bad ones of either gender. You may feel more comfortable with a woman gyno, I prefer it that way. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    from all the answers so far, you can pretty much tell that everyone is in agreement that you can make your own appointment. If you feel that you need your mom there or to know about it, just explain your period situation. You're 19, to the doctors office, if your 18 years or older they consider you an adult. so you can sign for yourself and do the paperwork without your mom. just make sure you take your insurance card with you, usually initial doctors fees are about $200, and that's not including the birth contro pills, make sure you have all the insurance information with you and if your parents carry the insurance you will need they're info, like social security # and date of birth and thier employer's name.

    Better yet, if there's a free clinic you can go to, try it.

    Good luck and be safe,

    Source(s): I work in a Dr's ofc and been there done that, with my mom, too!!
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  • 1 decade ago

    First of all, grow up. Don't meant to be rude but you are a young woman. If you've been sexually active for 2 years then you should be comfortable with the needs of your own body. If not, then you shouldn't be sexually active. If your periods aren't regular and you have awful cramps, that is reason enough to go to a gynecologist. Let your mom know you would rather she didn't go in the room with you.

    If you don't want to do that, find a free health clinic. There are allot out there, just look in the phone book.

    Good luck

  • 1 decade ago

    You need to confront your mother in a calm way. Your mother will understand, she did have you. She may become upset because no parent wants their daughter to be having sex because thier afraird of you becoming pregnant. I have been on the pill since i was fourteen. I got my period very early for my age. Being on the pill doesnt mean you want to have sex 24/7, it also helps with irregular periods. I had gotten pregnant when i was 16, so i know how it feels not being able to talk to your mom. When i did tell her i felt so relieved and ever since then she loves my daughter and she is my best friend. Also, when you do tell your mom, still set up the appointment yourself. This will show responsibility.

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her your friend or Friends mother or the like told you that the doctor can prescribe something for your bad cramps and irregular periods. Also tell her that you remember in health class in high school you discussed how important it is to go to the gynecologist by the age of 18. Tell her you think you should go.

    My question to you is at the age of 19, why do you have to have your mom make an appt? Why don't you find a doctor (ask some Friends) and make an appt yourself??

  • Pinkie
    Lv 6
    1 decade ago

    Simple, Just tell your mom that you are having some problems,and would like to go to the gynecologist. That should be enough since you are an adult. Your mom probably wouldn't want to come in anyway since they will do a pap smear, and pelvic, which no one really wants to see done to their daughter. Also anything that goes on the doc can't tell your mom without your permission. If you mom asks why the bc prescription, then tell her it is for hormonal issues and hair growth, as well as irregular menstruation. Frankly at 18, I think your mom would be surprised if you weren't on Birth control, even if you are not sexually active now, just in case you meet mr. right when you least expect it! If you act like an adult about it, likely she will too!

  • 1 decade ago

    Just tell her that you would like to get a long overdue check-up. Since you are 19 soon, you really don't need to tell her about you not being a virgin, unless you want to. She shouldn't be suspicious of anything, every woman needs a check-up. What you and the doctor discuss is between the two of you. You really do need to get it done, just because. Good luck!

  • 1 decade ago

    Tell her that you would like to take a RESPONSIBLE step towards having sex. Explain to her that you are not a S.L.u.T , but you do indeed enjoy having intercourse. Your mom will probably be a little upset when you tell her, but also tell her that you're not 10 anymore and you can handle this. Explain to her that you are definitely not ready to have a child and that you would like to see a gynocologist for the regular visit after you've had sex, birth control, cramps, and a regulated period. i wish you the best of luck!!

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