Is it ok to live with your boyfriend for 6 years and still not be married?

I know he loves me, but why are we not married yet?

Update:

I'm 25, he's 26.

32 Answers

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  • 1 decade ago
    Favorite Answer

    some people are cool with living together without getting married, i've lived with my partner now for almost 15 years and we are not married. i have nothing against people and marriage.

    Marriage is just not for some people and they are comfortable with it. Plus there are too many divorces nowadays.

    I know many people that just live together and they are happy.

  • Lydia
    Lv 7
    1 decade ago

    You, and so many other girls, are making this huge mistake of living with your boyfriends! -- and then it goes wrong, and you wonder why! Six years is WAY too long to be dating without a commitment - love or no love. If he had wanted to marry you, he would have asked you a long time ago -- and it probably would have happened earlier if you two weren't living together. Our moms are right for reasons, you know! So now you have to decide what to do - you can't browbeat him into asking you, and you sure as heck better not get pregnant and have his babies without marriage - so decide whether to leave and move on with your life, and find another potential marriage partner - if that's what you want, - or stay in the rut you have created and don't expect him to change. Only you have the power to change yourself. Good luck, eh?

  • 1 decade ago

    Honey if you are okay with waiting for more time, that's okay but if you feel like you can't wait any longer or at least wondering if he's serious and wanting to marry you soon or someday, let him know!! My friend has this sad experience of waiting and wanting her bf to marry her for 5 years, in the beginning she's okay to be patient and wait but then when as time went by she needed to ask again and the answer was he couldn't marry her for whatever reason it was, i think he just didn't think she's the right person he should've married.. anyway.. she's devastated, totally broken heart and decided to be single for the rest of her life.. sad huh? she gave me one advice.. when you start dating somebody and you are getting serious, at least make sure that your partner will marry you someday or if possible as him to marry you because most men prefer to have commitment without getting married if you are the woman doesn't ask him to.. because they are basically afraid of making commitment.. i'm not saying all but most.. so.. be honest,(it's for your own good) and tell him what you want from this relationship and give him freedom to choose.. you can take it or leave it..

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    Is it ok? Is it okay with you? It seems to me that you should've asked yourself that question a few years ago. After 6 years, you'd have to light a firecracker under his as* if you want him to marry you, and even then, its unlikely he'll be an eager beaver to make that committment. I hate to say it but what it comes down to is,

    "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" Why don't you ask him why you aren't married yet and see what he says. If you want to marry him and he doesn't want the same, I would strongly advise you to move on. Life is too short.

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  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    <<I know he loves me, but why are we not married yet?>>

    Quite possibly because you chose to move in together without any further commitment like "engagement" or "marriage" in the first place.

    Why should he change a good thing? All the comforts of a spouse without all that messy commitment.

    And as a point of clarification - no, you are not "common law married". Contrary to popular belief, there is not a "magic number of years" that you live together and then *poof* you're married. Common law also does not exist in all states.

  • Anonymous
    1 decade ago

    you shouldn't be asking us, you should be asking him why you are not yet married. Perhaps he is afraid of the 'real' commitment? When living together, he still has a chance to bail out. With marriage, it becomes a bit more complicated.

    Now ask yourself, how many more years will it take before he decides to marry you? How much longer are you going to wait...and live your life in limbo?

  • 1 decade ago

    It's ok if it's ok with you two. Every relationship is different. What works for one couple may not work for another. If you're happy with the situation, why change it. If you feel it's lacking something because there's no paper saying your married, then get married. Only you and your man can say if its ok or not.

  • 1 decade ago

    In today's society there is less frowning upon living together than in the past. If you are both happy with the situation why change now?

    If you are not happy and want to marry, it is time to have a serious discussion about your future together. You need to let him know how you feel about marriage and listen to how he feels about it. You also need to be prepared to settle for less or move on to another relationship to find marriage.

  • 1 decade ago

    I personally don't agree that you should have lived with him for that long and him not even get engaged to you. I will tell you why. My brother had been dating this girl for 5 yr's and she thought he was so in love with her but he kept having mixed feelings he would always tell us and then he just recently ended it with her in the mean time having her wait all 5 yr's thinking anytime he would propse. I think if someone doesn't propose after 2 yr's something might be up or he might have diff feelings then what you might think.Something to look into is all.

  • 1 decade ago

    Sure! I am 50 my boyfriend is 48. We've been living together for 5 years. Both of us were married before (me 19 years, him 21) so neither one of us is in THAT big of a hurry to do it again. We plan to get married someday. I love him and he loves me. thats all that matters.

    How old are you and your boyfriend?

    Don't be in such a hurry.

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